Jessica Carey - Making with Meaning: More Than 20 Meditative and Creative Crochet Projects

Pause.

Life has become so busy, hasnt it? From cooking and cleaning to childrens events to business meetings to just about everything, its hard to find quiet moments to just be. No social media, no emails, no kids needing a snack. Just you. Period.

As a Maker, I find my being moments while sitting alone with music and my crochet, and probably a healthy glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. As I work each stitch, I get lost in my thoughts, and I love to use this time to think about different things in my life, to explore potential outcomes to different issues, to piece together meaning in an otherwise unfortunate situation, to spend time in prayer, and to sit in the gratefulness that I have for all the lessons Ive learned and the experiences Ive had. Its a perfect life digestion situation for me.

Before we begin, I want you to take a moment to dive into yourself. Take a moment, or two, to just absorb life as its happening around you. I want you to ask yourself how youre doing. Like, really: How are you doing? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you confused? Are you simply wanting to get to the patterns and make some fun projects?

If its the latter, dont worry. Well get there. But in writing this book, I hope to offer more to your life than just some crochet patterns. I want to uplift you, encourage you, support you. I want to help you explore new perspectives, journey into yourself, and discover deeper meaning within your day-to-day, to really enhance the quality of your life.

Creativity has truly become a means of healing for me after my childhood and teenage years were spent dealing with different kinds of abuse, feeling unwanted, not knowing my place in the world, suffering from undiagnosed anxiety and depression, and so many other dark experiences. Meeting me today, you may never guess that I have the kind of past that I do, but thats because I had to go through the wringer to process those feelings and actually look internally to grow, heal, and repurpose the pain into strength.

During those moments when I felt like the world was falling apart and I had no control over anything, not even myself, I had a very hard time seeing life for what it really isa gift.

Believe me, it took me years to view my life as a gift. Today, my life is full of seeing dreams come to fruition, watching my family grow and bond as a unit, feeling stable in myself and in my place in the world.... Before, it felt as if I was made only to get in peoples way, to be used, or to make everyones life more difficult. I never expected anything good to happen in my life, because nothing had shown me that I was worth more than the worst people had to offer. It took other life events and unconditional love from the most unexpected people to break that cycle for me and to help show me that I am worthy of being invested in, that Im worthy of being heard and believed in, and that Im enough just as I amflaws, brokenness, and all. My husband has been an incredible piece of that puzzle, as he is the only person who has loved me just as I am, never leaving me to feel inadequate, even during my most difficult times. Friends, Ive got a lot of demons I am still trying to overcome, but being shown that Im worthy of love, despite my issues, has been something that has ultimately changed my life and my overall perspective of those around me.

For much of my life, I never knew what it was like to have people who were there for me through thick and thin, and believe me, a lot of my life was thick as molasses. But well save that story for another time (or book). Its true what they say: Without the rain, there would be no rainbows. Without the pain, there would be no gratefulness or growth. We should view our dark moments as something to be grateful for, as they have helped shape us into who we are today, and we wouldnt be here without those moments.

I dont have any special items or memorabilia from when I was a child. I have only a simple scrapbook I made as a teenager of the few pictures of myself growing up I was careful to never lose. I had always wanted to be a recipient of something that was bigger than myself, something that helped show the meaning of life beyond my own generationa family heirloom, if you will. I want my children to know that their childhood is worth remembering. To make that happen, I wanted to create something that would help show just how important and worthy my children are to me. I was determined to break the cycle and do better and leave my children with more than I had, and just be able to have the security I had felt I needed.

As my daughter neared her first birthday, I decided I wanted to learn how to crochet so I could give her some special gifts that would be handmade by her mama and that she could keep as she grew older. The kind of mother I had as a child may not have been the kind of mom I needed, but I knew I could use those pains and lacks from childhood as reminders of how I can be there for my own daughter. I choose to believe were all doing the best we can, even when were thrown into a situation we arent prepared for. Just because certain actions are familiar because thats how you were treated, it doesnt mean that you cant learn from how that felt and begin healing those wounds for the next generation.

What I didnt anticipate when beginning my journey with crochet was all that was to come: the newly discovered self-worth, the pride in recognizing I can do anything I set my mind to, the incredible people who have joined my life, the business opportunities that have arisen. And now being able to accomplish my biggest life goal to dateto write my first book. For as long as I can remember, Ive always held words near and dear to my heart. I took creative writing courses and AP English Language and Composition in high school. To read books and escape into another world, another persons imagination, to share in their perspective, was something I lived for. To be able to sit here today and type, on a laptop of my very own, ideas and thoughts for you to consider for yourself is something I only ever dreamed of. To be able to combine both writing and my joy for crocheting into my first publication is an extreme honor I do not take lightly.

As the hours spent crocheting have increased over the years, Ive realized so many things. Though the projects I make have varied, my hands are kept busy working each repetitive stitch, and it leaves my mind open to think and explore. I used to focus on gifts for my kids (and still do from time to time), but lately Ive found that my creativity has expanded into personal makesthings that I, as an adult woman, want to see in the industry and designs that feel like a representation of my style. As I work those stitches, I explore thoughts of healing in my everyday life that I have previously neglected, or just pushed to the side. The more I crochet, the bigger the gift I am able to give myself, it seems.

As I keep working, Ive learned to bridge the gap between simply making something and making something