Tisa Batey - This Is How Saved People Sin: The Memoirs of a Saved Girl

Acknowledgments

F irst, I want to thank God for giving me the insight and courage to write this book. In fact, were it not for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I never would have considered writing this memoir. This was neither easy nor painless to write. It was, however, something I felt had to be done. The events of this book are loosely based on many of my life experiences that Ive chosen to share with you.

Next I want to honor my parents Paul Jerry Batey (deceased) and Margie Douglass Moore for instilling in me the confidence to believe that I could accomplish anything. Because of you, I never experienced feelings of lack while growing up. You made sure my childhood was one filled with love and laughter. I am so blessed to have a mother who actually lived the life in front of us that she preached to us daily. Im equally blessed to have had a father who loved his children more than life itself. One who was present in our lives and never ashamed to shower us with the affection children so desperately need. I will never forget the countless sacrifices you both made for your children. Ill never forget how often you must have gone without, only to ensure all our needs were met. We had a good life-a very good lifeand I wouldnt trade it for anything in this world. God shined on us when He saw fit to bless us with two parents who loved us as much as you both did/do. Ill never forget!

Pastor Lionel Moore, we couldnt ask for a better stepfather. Not only are you a wonderful husband to our mother and a wonderful grandfather to our children but you also became one of my fathers very closest friends while he lived. Thats something very special and rare. You are the perfect example of a humble servant. Thank you for being just who you are. Youre truly one of the most remarkable men I know.

I want to acknowledge my siblings Patrick (deceased) and Monique (Nikie) Batey for showing me unconditional love and support. Because of you two, I truly feel like I had the best childhood ever! I love the fact that even though we argued and had disagreements at times, we always had each others backs. There is nothing we wouldnt do for each other. The love I have for the both of you is immeasurable and unwavering.

I absolutely must honor the most intelligent man Ive ever knownthe illustrious Bishop Dale C. Bronner for his incomparable spiritual guidance and leadership. I have learned so much both about God and myself since I joined Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral in 2006. You made me look at Christianity in a completely different light. You helped me realize that following God can and should be fun instead of a chore! Anyone who really knows this man also knows that he has a heart after God. This resonates in how he leads his flocknot in arrogance or an attempt to usurp authority but in true love and compassion for his congregation. Myyyyy BishopI truly love you, man! In addition, I must thank his lovely wife, Dr. Nina Bronner. You have been a shining example of how a true woman of God should carry herself at all times. The love, adoration, support, and unparalleled respect you show to and for your husband has truly inspired me and many others to become the kind of wives any man would be proud to have.

Melanie Eskridge, weve been the best of friends since the sixth grade. Kelly Alicea, my luvbug, our friendship means the world to me. The bond I have with you two beautiful ladies has been unbreakable. Our friendship is easyeffortless. We just fit!

To my circle of friends, some old and some newthank you for your unwavering love and support. I love you Shefon Harris, Ursula Relaford, Sharlene Bazel Parker, Dr. Ramona Coleman Bell, Soror Pam Rowe, Soror Tammi Smith, Soror Radiah Morman, Edward McSwine, Shatu Blake, Carlton Lampley, Darryl Harris and Cameron Taylor. My life has been so enriched as a result of your presence in it.

Lieutenant Colonel James Fearson, what can I possibly say about you? You are truly the most selfless man I have ever known. Your heart for others is pure, genuine, and uniquely made. Ive turned to you for support when Ive felt comfortable turning to no one else. And in true James Fearson fashion, you have been there for meevery time. I want you to know just how much I appreciate you for all youve done.

And last but certainly not the least, I want to thank my beautiful daughters Jazmen and Jhordyn Walker. Thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for the respect youve always shown me. Thank you for allowing Mommy the freedom and time needed to write this book. Thank you for your belief in me. Love truly seems too weak a word to describe my heart for you. You two are my true inspirationthe wind beneath my wings my why ! Im so thankful to God for allowing me the absolute pleasure of being your mom. I can only hope that Ive made you both proud to call me your Mommy.

There are many more who have influenced me along this journeytoo many to name. I have to believe you know who you are and the role youve played. Please know you all hold a very special place in my heart, and I thank God for you.

That Something

(For Tisa)

Theres this something about me.

And when I enter a room,

The eyes, ALL of them,

In, on me, ZOOM.

Theres something about me

That makes people Elevate!

Stand Tall, Be Positive,

Weve no time for self-hate!

This something is overpowering,

Oozing from within,

Exuding intelligence and class,

While being your earthiest friend.

This something didnt stop me

From donning the masks,

While dealing with demons,

Lingering from generations past.

You would not believe what I have endured

The humiliation, pain, the shame.

But I did it and hid it,

All in Loves name.

Years and years of masking,

Thinking I was happy,

Though I was not.

Trying to do it my way,

Instead of grasping the joy Gods got.

Ignoring all the warnings,

Ignoring the red flags,

Girl, he didnt mean it,

My words just made him mad!

First wed start off yelling,

Then hed push and I might shove,

Before I even knew it,

Hed pull out the boxing gloves!

I couldnt believe it happened.

Twas like I was in a dream.

But then in romance after romance,

These scenes became routine.

But that SOMETHING about me,

Wouldnt allow me to stay.

There drenched in depression,

I knew I had to PRAY!

God used his Messenger,

On more than one occasion,

To inspire me to rise,

So with my life

I stopped PLAYING!

Depression is selfish

Was he talking to ME?

Crying in the choir stand,

My pain was all I could see.

THAT SOMETHING SAVED ME,

Just like time upon time before,

Depression and self-pity,

Had to march out my door!

I shall NOT settle for anything less.

Gods grace is sufficient,

And with His Mercy,

I am blessed.

That SOMETHING,

It protects me,

As it shines from deep within.

Its the light of my Savior,

And His LOVE

That never ends.

So, I shall not settle,

For whats just good enough.

Im not lowering my standards,

For in Jesus Christ I trust.

There IS

Something about Me,

Twas instilled from my birth .

Jesus Christ died for me,

So I know what Im worth !

And I shall not settle.

Because

Theres SOMETHING about me!

- Pamela Rowe 2018

Chapter 1

The Beginning

I am not writing this book in an effort to blow the whistle on saved people. To the contrary, I am attempting to win souls into the kingdom of Christ. There is a huge misconception among those in the world that all saved people are holier than thou . I am here to dispel that myth. I am here to say that some of the most broken, sickly, and sinful people are the ones in the church. Many people living outside the will of God choose to remain there for fear of being judged or ridiculed by people who sin differently than they do. You see, the fact of the matter is that we all sin and come short of the Glory of the Lord (Romans 3:23). Nothing upsets me more than those who feel that, somehow, their sins are lesser ones than those of others. Its that sanctimonious and self-righteous attitude that prohibit us from doing that which we are commissioned to do as believerswinning souls to Christ. God sees all we do and knows all that we think. To Him, sin is sin. There are no big ones and little ones in His eyes. Its all sin, and they are equally offensive to Him.