Anna Borges - The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care

THE MORE OR LESS DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO SELF-CARE
Copyright 2019 by Anna Borges
Illustrations copyright 2019 by Bob Scott

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request

ISBN 978-1-61519-610-4
Ebook ISBN 978-1-61519-611-1

Cover and text design by Beth Bugler
Author photograph by Kim Hoyos

Manufactured in China

First printing November 2019
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Their Care: Im a civil engineer for a local government. Im very passionate about what I do: saving the environment and serving the public. I loved my job, but found myself regularly working late and on weekends, not taking any time for myself, and taking work success or failure very personally. I completely burned out.

Self-care for me means settings boundaries and sticking to them. I do not check work email outside of work and only work one weekend per month. I make sure that if I have something planned for an evening (work meeting or hanging out with friends) then the next evening needs to be kept free for me to chill at home. Since setting boundaries, Ive found that I can get a lot more done in my leisure time.

Sara, 33, Washington, DC

Brain Dump / There are two types of people in the world: those who can have a million and one tabs open on their browser and those who cant. Im the latter. Having too many tabs openyou know, to the point where each individual tab is so tiny that you cant even see its title anymoremakes me feel tense, scattered, and overwhelmed.

Same goes for my brain. Without getting random thoughts out of my head and onto paperlike groceries I need to buy or a TV show I want to recommend to my momI feel like I have too many mental tabs open. My solution is to have a brain dump where you can jot down stray thoughts as they occur so that you can revisit them later. If something pops up and I dont have the bandwidth to deal with that thought, into the brain dump it goes. It can be wherever you wanta Google doc, a little notebook, the notes app on your phone. Whatevers most handy.

Brag / Taking pride in yourself and your accomplishments is such a simple way to boost your own serotoninaka the happy chemicaland yet we dont do it often enough. But there are ways to toot your own horn without being annoying or boastful. If you read the room and know your audience, theres nothing wrong with sharing what youre proud of. Post some fire selfies. #TBT to a project that never got enough recognition. Own your contributions to an important presentation. Dare to say, Look what I did!

Breaks / The thing about breaks is that you probably dont need to be convinced that theyre good for you. Not only does a lot of evidence point toward breaks being good for productivity, creativity, and general mental well-being, but you can usually just... feel it.

But just because, in theory, you know that taking breaks from work throughout the day are acts of good self-care doesnt mean that you have the follow-through to take them on a regular basis. I get itI know what its like to have a ton of shit to do, and the thought of taking a break when my to-do list is miles long stresses me out. But honestly, without breaks, youre not going to wind up using your time well anyway, so you may as well let yourself step away for a bit.

The easiest way to actually do it is to schedule breaks into your day. Maybe that means putting a midday walk on your calendar or setting an alarm to go off every hour for a five-minute stretch break when youre working on a project. The important thing is to view breaks as more or less unbreakable appointments with yourself that you honor.

Breathe / Controlling your breath through deep breathing is a powerful tool to manage stress and anxiety. There are dozens of guided approaches out there, but you cant go wrong with the classic 4-7-8 exercise: inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for seven counts, exhale through your mouth for eight counts. Repeat until, hopefully, you feel a little better. See also .

Bullet Journaling / A Bullet Journal (aka dot journal) is the perfect lovechild of a planner, diary, and to-do list. How you use one is entirely up to youthe internet is overflowing with how-to guides, Bullet Journal spread ideas, and templates. Bullet Journaling for self-carehaving a place to organize and keep track of my life, goals, habits, and feelingshas been invaluable for my mental health.

Dr. Andrea Bonior summed it up best when I talked to her about Bullet Journaling for mental health: When your life and emotions feel so out of control or chaotic, there is something immensely therapeutic about organizing it into a systematic structure like a Bullet Journal. You lay things out in an aesthetically pleasing way and already it feels more manageable. Like you can really tackle it and make it through. It feels luxurious, too. Its like saying, Im worth it. Im worth this notebook and the time it takes to turn it into something beautiful.

Their Care: The goal of my habit tracker is to put down things I can do, so I can feel happy seeing the boxes filled in. I have a no matter how small rule for when Im not doing well. Wrote one sentence? Check on journal. Did half of my yoga routine? Check on exercise. Only meditated for five minutes? Check. And then I can look down, and no matter how awful I feel, at least I got some stuff done and I kept up with my routine.

This also helps with staying connected to reality and managing my bipolar and dissociative episodes. I tend to disassociate a lot and, as a result, I lose a lot of time and a lot of my memory. I struggle to remember what goes on and that can be really triggering for me. [Habit-tracking] is an easy way for me to look back and figure out what happened by my entries and habits, and it also helps me look out for any warning signs.