Ted Cunningham - A Love That Laughs: Lighten Up, Cut Loose, and Enjoy Life Together

A Love That Laughs: Lighten Up, Cut Loose, and Enjoy Life Together

2020 by Ted Cunningham. All rights reserved.

A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188

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ISBN 978-1-58997-708-2

ISBN 978-1-68428-212-8 (ePub); ISBN 978-1-68428-213-5 (Kindle); ISBN 978-1-68428-211-1 (Apple)

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Thank you, Alex Field, for your friendship and leadership. This is my seventh book with you: six as my publisher and now as my literary agent. I trust your expertise completely.

Everyone at Focus on the Family is like family to me. Your partnership over the years validates my message and ministry. Thank you to Jim Daly, John Fuller, Greg and Erin Smalley, Heather Dedrick, Steve Johnson, Larry Weeden, Beth Robinson, and Sandra Henderson.

My comedian friends Paul Harris, Jason Earls, John Branyan, and Johnnie W. inspired many of the laughs throughout this book. You four heard my comedy set multiple times, and your feedback is invaluable. You are generous veterans and mentors to me.

Doug Fields, Matt Engel, Ted Lowe, Scott Kedersha, John McGee, Phil Gungor, Gary Thomas, and Tim Popadic are dear friends and champions in marriage ministry. I learn much from them.

Woodland Hills Family Church is my home. Amy and I cant imagine serving anywhere else. To the congregation, staff, elders, and teaching team, you all serve incredibly well. This allows each one of us to pursue our passions, gifts, and calling.

To my daughter, Corynn Mae, our entire family lives for your laugh. Your laughter is the most contagious in our family. When you lose control, so do we.

To my son, Carson Matthew, you are the last-born comedian of our family. Not a day goes by without a few laughs from your antics, jokes, and quick recalls of famous movie lines.

Amy Cunningham, my goal in life is to make you laugh. You are the reason I do comedy. I know if a punch line, impersonation, or teaching point makes you laugh, then it will work around the world. Our laughs get better with age. My goal is to increase our laughter ratio and score with each passing year.

M Y WIFE, A MY, is a foodie. Her favorite restaurants serve small portions over many courses, and you never have to use the same utensil twice. I prefer large portions served all at once, and Im good with using the same fork for the entire meal. You would think these differences frustrate us, but they dont. We decided a long time ago to find fun in every nook and cranny of our marriage.

Our foodie differences first surfaced at a fancy restaurant in New York City. When we walked in, I knew immediately I would leave hungry. It was the type of restaurant some would call a four forker.

The friendly host seated us at a table near the front window. We had a welcoming view of the garden terrace, and plenty of privacy. It was cute, cozy, and romantic.

The waiter approached with a thick wood plank and presented us with two mint leaves. My immediate question was, Is that the salad? He assured me it was not.

He invited us to each take a leaf and rub it over our lips, under our noses, and around our chins. Amy was all in, but I hesitated. All I did was hold my leaf and stare at the waiter.

I grew up in Illinois where we grew produce, but we never rubbed it on our faces, I said in jest. Our waiter didnt laugh. Come on, shouldnt rubbing herbs on your face be something a couple does in private? This was certainly the most awkward moment Ive ever experienced in a restaurant.

The waiter stood there waiting for me to cleanse my palate, so I gave him a show he would not soon forget. I took a bath with that mint leaf, rubbing it all over my body, then discarded the wilted leaf on the plank. He stared in silent rebuke, took our order, and left in a huff.

The waiter wasnt amused, but Amy sure was. Amys belly laugh reassured me she knew how awkward this was for me. She appreciates how I play through the pain. No matter where we are, no matter what we are doing, we try to prioritize fun and laughter.

Amy and I turned our fancy-restaurant, leaf-rubbing date into what is known in comedy circles as a callback. Now every time we go to my favorite restaurant, Le Cracker Barrel, getting her to laugh is easy. All I have to do is reach over, grab a piece of broccoli off of her plate, and rub it on my cheek. I sometimes get a smile, but if I add some physical comedy, I can get a chuckle or even a belly laugh.

The callback is one of my favorite comedy skills. Great comedy is about surprising and shocking the brain. When a comedian shares a punch line you didnt anticipate, your mind is shocked into laughter. The callback shocks the brain with two thoughts, I didnt see that coming, and I should have seen that coming.

Writing comedy is similar to writing a sermon, speech, or research paper. It takes discipline. The mistake a lot of public speakers make is thinking that comedy is best when spontaneous. Not true. It may look spontaneous, but it is not. Good comedy is written, edited, practiced, and edited some more. Let that be part of your journey as a couple working through this book. Be intentional.

While writing great material takes discipline, the formula for writing comedy is simple: Establish a premise, then deliver the punch line. Skilled comedians establish a single premise, then layer multiple punch lines after it. For example, comedian Jim Gaffigan layers dozens of punch lines behind the premises of cake, bacon, and Hot Pockets. We laugh and subliminally think, I didnt see that coming, but I should have