Blake E. S. Taylor - ADHD and Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table

What a great gift ADHD & Me will be for teens going through this struggle and for parents hoping to glean tips and insights into their teens. I was struck most by Blakes courage and vulnerability in sharing some of the heartbreaking ups and downs of life as a teenager. I can see how the advice he shares and what he learned, if taken to heart, could keep a whole life from going down the wrong track.

The punch line of the book is the book itself. That a teenager with ADHD, once in a special ed class, is now an accomplished and published author is a testimonial to the substantial gifts of ADHD. ADHD & Me is an insiders look at being unpopular and bullied. And yet today, Blake is thriving and popular. These pages blaze forth with both the courage of brokenness and the power of self-improvement. His message of staging his own personal revolution in the service of constant self-improvement will inspire any teen or parent, even in the face of this diagnosis.

His book will help you translate the symptoms of ADHD into gifts as you see how they play out from the inside. Blake will show you how impulsiveness is often driven by intense curiosity, such as when he tells about breaking glass to see it shatter, lighting fires to see the flames, or shooting rockets with his grandfather because he liked seeing things fly. His perspective shows us how we miss the inventiveness and innovation when we focus too harshly on exploration gone wrong. One could easily imagine that Edison and Einstein had similar pratfalls in their teenage years in their unquenchable desire to see how the world works. Blake will walk you through his difficulties with concentration and show you how curiosity, adaptability, and interest in synthesizing across multiple domains can look like a crippling symptom when you are faced with a test based on straightforward memorization.

The one piece of advice that stands out and, to my mind, bears amplification is what he says about bullying. He urges teens to get help from adults. If you are a teen reading this book, or if you are a parent, this advice alone can do enough damage control to earn its keep on your bookshelf. I know that somewhere a teen will read Blakes story of seeking help and say, What a geek! If you have that reaction, check yourselfdont fall into the trap presented by the extremes that our culture goes to in enforcing its cowboy-like views on childhood. While most professionals urge parents and children to seek help from adults, the playground ethic and peculiarity of American culture tell us that even teenagers should be able to go it alone. This ideal of American independence for our kids and teens deepens teenage angst unnecessarily. Teachers need to be made aware of bullying, watch out for it, and stop it. Its as simple as that. Parents have to get schools involved and help their own child behind the scenes.

As with any literary narrative, Blakes story has a compelling subplot: the success of his mother Nadine as an advocate for him. Having met Blake and Nadine in person, her devotion and dedication to her child are palpable in her warmth and strength. In her personal account, she was challenged by many family members, friends, and teachers for her efforts to explain why Blake acted the way he did. She was accused of making excuses for him. Yet her efforts paid off. And she too is a heroine in the story, for this is what an ADHD child needsa devoted advocate. If you are a parent reading this book, remember that you can in part change your childs reality when you go to bat for him or her and show others the bigheartedness that often lies behind your childs antics.

As a psychologist providing a guide to the reader, before you start with your shared journey with Blake, I would provide a few tips myself. Most important, in connecting with his story, or in places where you dont connect, I point to the context of his story.

If you are a teenager struggling with ADHD, you may wonder, How could he write this book when I cant even find my assignment sheet? An important part of the storys context is that Blake responded successfully to ADHD medications, and he had been on medications since the age of five. His story points to the effectiveness of the medications in managing symptoms and also to the great need that any ADHD child has for support and coaching, even with successful medication treatment. Getting rid of symptoms isnt enough. As Blakes story points out, even while he succeeded in school, the effects of the diagnosis dramatically affected his social life, his emotional life, and his whole image of how the world works and who he is. The debate that tears parents and families apartto medicate or not to medicateperhaps can recede to the background with this new revelation found in Blakes account. Success with medication is the very beginning of the story, not the end of the story.