TJ Nelligan - Live Like Sean: Important Life Lessons from My Special-Needs Son

Live Like Sean is a wonderful book that, like Sean himself, will stay in your heart long after you turn the final page.

Harlan Coben,New York Times best-selling author of The Boy from the Woods

A book for anyone who has ever been fiercely inspired by a childwhich should be everyone.

Mitch Albom,New York Times best-selling author of Finding Chika

Through the 2014 Special Olympics USA Games, I had the great fortune to get to know Sean and his amazing family. With both a Montville and Hoboken connection, we immediately forged a friendship. I am honored and proud to have known him. Sean taught me about strength, resilience, and, mostly, patience. Live Like Sean provides a brief look into a life that touched so many and is a must-read about how life lessons can come from the most unexpected sources. Sean was a shining presence who impacted all who knew him, and he will be missed.

Buddy Valastro, The Cake Boss and New York Times best-selling author

This book is a memoir reflecting the authors present recollections of experiences over time. Its story and its words are the authors alone. Some details and characteristics may be changed, some events may be compressed, and some dialogue may be recreated.

Published by Greenleaf Book Group Press

Austin, Texas

www.gbgpress.com

Copyright 2021 TJ Nelligan

All rights reserved.

Thank you for purchasing an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright law. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the copyright holder.

Distributed by Greenleaf Book Group

For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Greenleaf Book Group at PO Box 91869, Austin, TX 78709, 512.891.6100.

Design and composition by Greenleaf Book Group

Cover design by Greenleaf Book Group

Front cover photo by Michael Rosenmertz

Publishers Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

Print ISBN: 978-1-62634-757-1

eBook ISBN: 978-1-62634-758-8

Part of the Tree Neutral program, which offsets the number of trees consumed in the production and printing of this book by taking proactive steps, such as planting trees in direct proportion to the number of trees used: www.treeneutral.com

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

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First Edition

This book is dedicated to my beautiful boy, Sean Timothy Nelligan, who passed away on Fathers Day in 2019.

He taught all of those who spent time with him what unconditional love really means and so many other lessons.

Also, to all the parents and families of special-needs children who know the pain, the challenge, and the joy of loving these exceptional, phenomenal, and awesome human beings!

My hope is that these chapters will remind you of lessons your own special-needs child imparts to you and the world.

A s I finish this labor of lovewriting about my beautiful boy and all he taught usI have so many people to thank.

First, there are the three most important people in Seans life: his loving mother, Maggie, and his adoring sisters, Moira and Meghan. Maggie, Sean was so lucky to have you as his mother. You cared for him, protected him, and loved him like crazy. Moira and Meghan, you were Seans idols, and he was wild about both of you. He had the two best sisters anyone could ever dream to have on their side. All four of us will miss him forever as we learn day after day that he had more to teach us about life than we could ever teach him.

Thank you to the Nelligan family, who always accepted Sean: my parents (or, as Sean knew them, Papa Tim and Grandma Helen); my siblings, Terri, Eileen, Mike, and Sheila and their spouses; Seans cousins on both the Nelligan and McMorrow sides, who loved him. He loved all of you.

Dana Nelligan, you were there for me when Sean passed away, and you spent 11 years with me and Sean. You made our lives better because of your love for both of us. Thank you.

His friends deserve special thanks as well for giving Seans life the joy of true friendship, especially his friend Timmy Baird, whom he knew since he was five years old at The Childrens Center for Therapy and Learning for special-needs children. Bobby Fredericks was another amazing friend and teammate who worked with Sean at Nelligan Sports and at the Montville Inn for 10 years.

Seans teachers all deserve a special thanksespecially Gail Booth at the Childrens Center for Therapy and Learning (now P.G. Chambers School) and then Kathy Tauscher at the Midland School. Both of you were not only great teachers for Sean but friends of our family as well.

My friends always accepted Sean as a part of their own families and welcomed him to share in their celebrations and vacationsthe Mulhalls, Vargas, Dukes, Matarazzos, Bradens, Hofferths, and so many more. Thank you.

Special Olympics New Jersey (SONJ) changed our familys lives from the time Sean was 12 and attended his first SONJ summer games through to his last days. Marc and Kathy Edenzon, you were instrumental in building Seans confidence and in getting our entire family involved in something that opened our eyes to the capabilities, talents, and accomplishments of special-needs children. For that, I will always be grateful.

Thank you to Bob Belfiore, the head of the Law Enforcement Torch Run (LETR) for more than 35 years, and Joe Sarnoski and Larry Mays and all the men and women who participated in LETR fundraising. Their yearlong efforts raise millions of dollars for SONJ.

To every one of Seans teammates at Special Olympics, I want you to know that he treasured and enjoyed his time with you.

Thank you to all the employees at Nelligan Sports Marketing and the Montville Inn who worked with Sean and befriended him. You were so kind, and he loved both jobs because of you.

To the people we met during our days at Nelligan Sports coaches, athletic directors, and other employeesyou all made Seans visits to your campuses and at your games so enjoyable. I am grateful for those memories.

My co-writer, Theresa DiGeronimo: I would never have been able to write this book without your encouragement and without your motivating me to continue when I thought I was unable to go on.

My therapist, Joe Bizzaro (yes, I have a therapist and am proud of it): You encouraged me to write this book, and I would not have started it without that push.

Steve Adubato, thank you for inspiring me to write this book with your kind words after Seans memorial and for introducing me to my incredible co-writer.

Thank you to everyone who made my sons short time on this earth enjoyable and valuable. Every one of those memories mean the world to me today and always will.

M y beloved son, Sean Timothy Nelligan, died at the age of 29 on Fathers Day in 2019. As I was writing his eulogy, I noticed a recurring theme. Each time I wrote down a little story about Sean that I wanted to share with my family and friends, I found myself encouraging everyone to try to live more like him. I told the room of almost a thousand people: Live like Sean every day and you will make the lives of others so much better, and it will make you feel better also.