Deborah Fisher - Just When I Needed You: True Stories of Adults Who Made a Difference in the Lives of Young People

1. Say hello and smile. Many young people are used to being ignored by adultssurprise them by standing out from the crowd!
2. Ask them their names. Watch a young persons face light up when you show enough interest to want to know who he or she is.
3. Be yourself. Young people will respond to you better if they sense you are being genuine.
4. Ask them about things that are of interest to them. Nothing will help trigger conversation more than your questions about something a young person is interested in.
5. Simply listening will give you ideas of what to talk about. Once the subject is apparent, make positive comments about their interests or abilities.
6. Follow up your initial questions with questions or observations that show youre listening. If a young person talks about being into skateboarding, ask where his or her favorite skate park is.
7. Never assume that the mind youre talking to is closed. Just because young people dress or act differently from you doesnt mean theyre not taking in what youve said.
8. Dont expect young people to reach out to you. Take the initiative as an adult to reach out to them.
9. Draw from your own memories. Think back to someone who made a difference in your life and how she or he connected with you.
10. Keep at it! Not every attempt to connect with young people will have immediate results, but remain earnest and speak from your heart.

The Developmental Assets are spread across eight broad areas of human development. These categories paint a picture of the positive thingsthe developmental nutrientsthat all young people need to grow up healthy and responsible. The first four asset categories focus on external structures, relationships, and activities that create a positive environment for young people:

Support Young people need to be surrounded by people who love, care for, appreciate, and accept them. They need to know that they belong and that they are not alone.

Empowerment Young people need to feel valued and valuable. This happens when youth feel safe, when they believe that they are liked and respected, and when they contribute to their families and communities.

Boundaries and Expectations Young people need the positive influence of peers and adults who encourage them to be and do their best. Youth also need clear rules about appropriate behavior and consistent, reasonable consequences for breaking those rules.

Constructive Use of Time Young people need opportunitiesoutside of schoolto learn and develop new skills and interests, and to spend enjoyable time interacting with other youth and adults.

The next four categories reflect internal values, skills, and beliefs that young people also need to develop to fully engage with and function in the world around them:

Commitment to Learning Young people need a variety of learning experiences, including the desire for academic success, a sense of the lasting importance of learning, and a belief in their own abilities.