Chris Palmer - Finding Meaning and Success: Living a Fulfilled and Productive Life

Writing a book is always a collective effort, and I am grateful to those who have helped develop and express the ideas presented here. I am indebted to the many experts, scholars, writers, thinkers, and activists who have inspired my thinking on meaning, purpose, and success. In particular, I want to laud the pioneering work of (in alphabetical order) David Allen, Dr. Albert-Lszl Barabsi, Joshua Becker, Dr. Arthur Brooks, David Brooks, Dr. Bill Burnett, Dr. Stephen R. Covey, Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Dr. Angela Duckworth, Dr. Carol Dweck, Dr. Dave Evans, Nir Eyal, Dr. Viktor Frankl, Anu Garg, Dr. Adam Grant, Dr. Mardy Grothe, Dr. Edith Hall, Dr. Yuval Noah Harari, Ryan Holiday, Arianna Huffington, Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. John Kaag, Dr. Jane McGonigal, Greg McKeown, Cynthia Meyer, Caroline Adams Miller, Tara Mohr, Dr. Cal Newport, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dr. Scott Peck, Dr. Mary Pipher, Dr. Laurie Santos, Dr. Martin Seligman, Dr. Peter Senge, Dr. George Sheehan, Simon Sinek, Emily Esfahani Smith, Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair, Brian Tracy, Dr. Irvin Yalom, and Dr. Benjamin Zander.

Im deeply grateful to each of these luminaries, and I salute them for their research, insights, and expertise. Their wisdom is reflected on every page of this book, and I cite them frequently.

This book would never have crossed the finish line without the support of my family. My beloved wife, Gail, and my treasured daughters, Kimberly, Christina, and Jenny, gave me useful criticism and feedback. My family is a continual source of joy and inspiration. Im deeply grateful to Gail, my three amazing and accomplished daughters, my three exceptional and caring sons-in-law (Sujay, CJ, and Chase), and my nine adored grandchildren: Kareena, Neal, JJ, Max, Sammy, Aiden, Connor, Dylan, and Charlie.

Heaps of gratitude to four special friendsGrant Thompson, Steve King, Kent Wagner, and Aditi Desaifor reviewing the manuscript and giving me constructive suggestions and comments that improved the book. They are all outstanding human beings, and I deeply value their friendship.

I appreciate the editing skills of Wendy A. Jordan, who did an excellent job editing the entire manuscript.

I thank all my friends in the Bethesda Metro Area Village (BMAV) for their support and friendship. Im also grateful to my colleagues at MacGillivray Freeman Films (where I serve as president of the MacGillivray Freeman Films Educational Foundation) and to my colleagues at Montgomery Hospice (where I serve on the board and volunteer) for enriching my life, and thus this book.

Above all, I thank the hundreds of students I taught at American University and in my success classes. Without them, this book would not exist.

Finally, Im grateful to the team at Rowman & Littlefield, but most especially to Tom Koerner, for believing in this book and publishing it.

Proceeds from this book will go to fund scholarships for students at American University, where I taught for fourteen years after my thirty-plus-year career in conservation and filmmaking at the National Audubon Society and the National Wildlife Federation.

By Chris Palmer

August 14, 2020

1. I have one chance at life, so its crucial I have an accurate map and compass to help me lead a life of purpose, joy, and meaning, and with the fewest possible regrets.
2. The purpose of this document is to be that map and compass. It includes my personal mission statement and my goals. My personal mission statement describes my true north and is the foundation for my goals.
3. The level of detail in this document may be unusual, but it encapsulates the totality of my life. It reflects who I am and who I want to be.
4. Getting these goals out of my head and capturing them on paper declutters my mind and gives me peace. As productivity expert David Allen says, Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.
5. I review and update this document frequently and plan my day based on it.

• My personal mission statement
• Core values
• Daily routine
• Goals: community goal, giving back goal, health goal, and growth goal
• New possibilities and aspirations

As I approach the end of my days on this earth, I appreciate that Ive had a good life and have much to be grateful for. Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, Alas for those who never sing, but die with all their music in them. I had the chance to sing. I worked hard and gave life my best shot. Ive also been incredibly lucky and extremely privileged, enjoying unearned and unfair social advantages over others because Im a white male.

I agree with whoever said that the purpose of life is a life of purpose. Living with purpose will make the world a better place and benefit others while also helping me feel fulfilled. I will embrace a purpose-driven life, not a comfort-driven life.

I will find new ways to give my life meaning and purpose. Raising Kimmie, Tina, and Jen gave my life purpose for decades; it still does but to a lesser extent now that they are independent adults and need me less. My primary identities as father, filmmaker, and professor have weakened.

I will nurture new identities. I will still focus on my family and on my role as a husband, father, and grandfather, but I will also build my identity as an author, teacher, speaker, community member, volunteer, health advocate, aging advocate, and death and dying educator.

As I face mortality, I will find joy in designing the meaning and purpose of the last phase of my life. It is my responsibility to find my path and to live my own unique life.

My goal is what MITs Peter Senge calls personal mastery. I will clarify the things that matter deeply to me and live my life in the service of my highest aspirations.

I will spend my time on what matters to me. I am what I spend my time on. In historian Will Durants formulation, I will become what I repeatedly do. Heraclitus wrote, Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Author Annie Dillard wrote, How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

As New York Times columnist David Brooks advocates in his book The Second Mountain, I will climb a second mountain that is characterized by focusing on what really matters. He distinguishes eulogy virtues from rsum virtues. To move from rsum virtues to eulogy virtues is to move from activities focused on the self to activities focused on others.

I will work for the greater good. I will give my life meaning and fulfillment by contributing to matters larger than the self and more enduring than my life. William James said, The great use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.

I will set and achieve ambitious goals and be highly active, energetic, and productive. I will design and create a new life with Gail in retirement that makes me grateful, purposeful, and excited to be alive. I will align my daily activities with my values and goals. I will find and emulate role models (such as Jimmy Carter) who are flourishing in their end game, despite deteriorating strength and other physical limitations.

I will give my life significance by devoting myself to challenging and worthy tasks. I will have something worth living forwhat the Japanese call