Theresa Bailey - Hockey Moms: The Heart of the Game

BY BOBBY RYAN

Bobby Ryan played thirteen seasons in the NHL. His final game was in 2021 as a member of the Detroit Red Wings.

I WISH MY MOTHER, Melody Stevenson, were here to tell her story. She died of cancer in 2016. Without her, I know without a doubt that I would not have made it to the NHL. Im really not sure what would have become of my life if it wasnt for my mom.

Her story with my dad was complicated. Thats putting it mildly. My dad was hard on both of us, and it got pretty bad when I was very young and my dad assaulted my mom. She was taken away in an ambulance. Dad left in handcuffs. He faced a series of charges, including attempted murder. I was ten years old when he was released on bail and decided to take off and became a fugitive.

Mom always did what she had to do so things would work out with Dad and our family would remain together, so she was on board when Dad jumped bail. We left our home in Philadelphia to rejoin him and started fresh in California under assumed names. Thats when my name changed from Bobby Stevenson to Bobby Ryan.

It goes without saying, life was challenging for all of us. There was a constant fear that our double lives would be discovered. We got away with it for a couple of years. I was twelve when the FBI tracked down Dad, arrested him, and sent him to prison. He was sentenced to five years for aggravated assault and jumping bail. After that, it was just Mom and me.

For three years, Mom worked sixteen-hour days, holding down two full-time jobs. She ran herself ragged just to keep us afloat. I never once said, Mom, you dont have to do this. I probably should have. Honestly, if she didnt do it, we werent making rent. The lights werent staying on. We werent eating. We were living in southern California, just outside Manhattan Beach. It took everything from her just to pay the bills. You could see how all the miles and the hours were taking a toll on her, mentally and physically. But she kept grinding and tried to give me every opportunity to succeed in life. My biggest admiration for her is for how she stayed the course.

Through it all, I had hockey, and Mom made sure the game never left me. One of her jobs was managing the local hockey rink. Because hockey was everything to me, it was also everything to her. She was able to schedule her shifts around my games, and when I played, she was usually there for me, watching.

Because of all we went through, I think Mom and I had a different kind of relationship. She was still a mother. She still had to rein me in at times to teach me to be a young man. As we found our way through our new lives, we became each others best friends. We didnt have any other choice. It was just the two of us.

Even after Dad was sent to prison, we continued to hold on to the family secret. And Mom was really the only person I could talk to about the double lives we were living. Really, why bother to share all that we had been through? But hockey is a small world. And eventually, people realized that Bobby Ryan of California and Bobby Stevenson of Philadelphia were the same person. We never talked about it with other people and kept living in our bubble.

Through all this, I learned plenty from Mom. One of the best things she taught me was to be a professional. Show up on time. Do your best. Do what needs to be done. I learned that lesson just by watching her do so much to look after me. We were dealt a pretty bad hand, and I saw how she responded. You may think your children dont notice what you do for them. Trust me, they do.

Mom would always tell me, Never cheat the work. Ive tried to live my life like that. For a good period of my NHL career, I have done that. I got away from it for a while, but I feel like Im back to it now. I got that from Mom.

As a hockey mom, she never pushed me, although if you were to ask her now, I think she would say she was a little too lenient with me. She knew I was pushed plenty at an early age by my dad. Mom tried to give me the space to figure things out on my own. She was never hard on me. If she was disappointed by the outcome of a game or because of the way I played, she never let on.

Mom always had my back, and I knew that. I had had a horrible billet experience in Detroit during my final year of minor hockey. She wasnt going to let that happen again, and she made sure it didnt. She moved to Owen Sound, Ontario, with me for my first year of junior hockey in the OHL, to make sure I was safe and protected. She said there was no way she was going to let me go it alone unless she was sure I was with a good family. Mom sacrificed so much so I could follow my dreams. That first year in junior, she put her life on hold for me.

My second season in Owen Sound, I moved in with a terrific family. It was my draft year. I saw a real opportunity to make it in hockey, and I wasnt going to waste it. I put my head down and worked harder than ever. Always in the back of my mind, I was thinking of Mom. I was determined not to let her down. I remember the great feeling when I was drafted second overall by Anaheim in the 2005 NHL Entry Draft. Its one of my favourite memories with her. It was a life-changing moment. And we experienced it together.

If Mom were here, I hope she would say it has all been worth it. I know she would be proud of me. I think if she were talking to other moms, she would tell them to stick with it. She would say, If you put your kids in a position to succeed, they will find a way. She would tell moms to cheer for their kids. And support them. Thats what she did for me.

Mom always allowed me to enjoy my good games. After bad games, she would encourage me to work on things that needed improving. She was never hard on me; she was patient and understanding. That would be my advice to moms. Be a little more understanding, even if youre frustrated with how your child is performing. That was my moms approach with me, and it went a long way.

I know Mom would love this book paying tribute to the dedication and sacrifice of hockey moms, even though she never asked that her story be told. Far too often, fathers get all the credit in hockey. So often, you see stories about dads and what theyve done to help their kids at the rink. It is good to see stories of mothers finally being shared, including the story of my mother.

Mom, I wish so much you were here to enjoy it.