Kevin Roberts - Movers, Dreamers, and Risk-Takers: Unlocking the Power of ADHD

Movers, Dreamers, and Risk-Takers

UNLOCKING THE
POWER OF ADHD

Kevin Roberts

Hazelden Publishing

Center City, Minnesota 55012

800-328-9000
hazelden.org/bookstore

2012 by Kevin J. Roberts

All rights reserved. Electronic edition published 2012

Produced in the United States of America

No part of this electronic publication may be copied, sold, or redistributed in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages for copyright infringement.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Roberts, Kevin J.

Movers, dreamers, and risk-takers : unlocking the power of ADHD /

Kevin Roberts.1st ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-61649-204-5 (softcover)

1. Roberts, Kevin J. 2. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorderDiagnosisHumor. 3. Attention-deficit-disordered childrenBiography. 4. Attention-deficit-disordered adultsBiography. 5. Male comediansBiography. I. Title.

RJ506.H9R627 2012

618.9285890092 dc23

[B]

2012001950

Editors notes

The names, details, and circumstances may have been changed to protect the privacy of those mentioned in this publication.

This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of health care professionals.

The lyrics on page 163 are from The Bible Beat written by Fr. E. N. Donoher, C.S.B., 1976.

Cover design by Theresa Gedig

To the Boys and Girls Clubs of America.
You helped father a fatherless boy.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am blessed with many friends and family members who supported me in writing this book:

• My mother, for blessing and encouraging my authentic nature.
• Arthur Robin, for providing me and the world with a font of wisdom, compassion, and tireless service to others.
• Tom and Ann Houston, for their ongoing support of my development as a writer.
• Alex Puzey, for forcing me to practice what I preach.
• Ryan Fitzpatrick, for showing me the power of personal transformation in action.
• Weenie Woo, for allowing me to participate in a process that has culminated in her becoming a very fine person.
• The Roeper School, for helping me grow up.
• Nancy Webster and Mike Ruddy, for believing in me.
• Garrett Reeves and Asa Watten, for teaching me the wisdom of Zellstein.
• John Everingham, for being a powerful mentor these last sixteen years.
• My family, for blessing me on my journey and always encouraging me, and for allowing me to use their stories.
• Tony Vicich, for inspiring me to reach for my dreams, and for showing me how to view comedy as an art form.
• Alex Hogan, for steadfastness and equilibrium in an environment that can be chaotic.
• The parents of my ADHD students and clients, for trusting me with their most precious commodity.
• David Wolfe, for convincing me that I was a writer, and for challenging much of my toxic shame.
• Dilly Dally, for consistently being willing to support me.
• Fran and Phil Parker, for great food, connection, camaraderie, and joy.
• Susanne Fest, for supporting and encouraging me through the detail-oriented process of my masters degree.
• Antioch University, for empowering me to learn what I wanted to learn.
• Jack Wagner and Logan Wiand, for showing me that intelligence comes in many different packages.
• Blair and her sister Madison, for being de facto publicists for my work.
• Chris Caretti, for much-appreciated humor.
• Doug Rutley, for accepting all of me without condition.
• Nahr Hing, for filling in the pregnant pauses of life with meaning and sustenance.
• CHADD, for making me feel at home.
• Terry Matlen, for sending a lot of people my way in my early years of practice.
• Nick Berry, for modeling perseverance for me.
• Liana Roberts, for being my Cheerleader-in-Chief.
• The extended Colman families, for supporting me by sending new clients my way, and for allowing me to help when needed.
• Geri Markel, for just being authentic.
• Dan Campion, for always looking out for me and doing the chores for my mother that I am often too busy, or too lazy, to do.
• David Knight, for providing me with unique stories that I regularly use to entertain.
• Alejandro Sanchez, for too many things to list.
• Barb Evangelista, for simply being Barba-ji.
• The Stavoes, Nagles, Harneds, LaHautes, and Kelly, for being patient and caring neighbors.
• Palmer Stevens, for supporting me in numerous and various ways.
• Ross Willard, Adam Seyburn, and the Brainiac2, for helping me handle the details of school with our students so that I get to spend more time being the goofy guy that I really am.
• Tim Kowalski, for showing me how to serve others.
• Lambrini, Alex, Angie, Christos, and the folks at Montys Grill, for providing me with inspiration, support, and a place to write these many years.
• All the folks I have worked with professionally, for trusting me with their stories.
• Janet Thompson, for letting me use her Sears self-correcting electric typewriter in high school.
• Dr. Joel Glieberman, for helping me overcome a lot of my anxiety.
• Dylan Shallow, for making my work fun!
• Paul Soczynski, for seeing my gold when I could not.
• Danny Coleman, Thomas Martins, Danny Parks, Ray Campise, Hayden Hickory, and all the Troy Boys who enlivened my work.

INTRODUCTION

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Winston Churchill

I am a stand-up comedian. I have performed all over the country at comedy clubs, conferences, and conventions. I make people laugh, and in my daily life I keep those around me entertained. Ive been doing this since I was a small boy. And I owe these abilities to ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder). The qualities that allow me to be creative, wild, spontaneous, and playful also make it hard for me to sit still for long periods of time, keep my mouth shut when I am supposed to be paying attention, and follow through on boring details. At forty-plus years of age, I sometimes still get so excited and exuberant that I cannot contain it. Some people call this a problem of self-regulation. I call it fun.

I make my living by helping ADHD teens succeed in school and by empowering ADHD adults to succeed in their careers and relationships. My ability to infect others with my exuberance is probably my greatest asset in these endeavors, and I owe this to ADHD as well. I have come to see ADHD as a set of traits, a predisposition to confronting lifes challenges, and a preference for perceiving the world. I do struggle with many aspects of life because of ADHD, but the older I get, the more I focus on the strengths. My professional trainingI am a teacher and ADHD coach with a masters degree in ADHD studiesshould have taught me to concentrate on the disorder and pathology of ADHD. Instead, I have become a relentless optimist.

My students and clients have gone to law school and medical school and have started numerous businesses. Many of my clients have proven themselves gifted at sales and marketing. I have witnessed particularly brave ADHDers (people with ADHD) doing some of the worlds most dangerous jobsjobs from which we all benefit but dont have the courage to do ourselves. I have seen teens go from failing grades to the honor roll, because they stopped trying to do school the right way and instead found the ADHD way. The ordinary grind of life is particularly hard for ADHDers. Out of necessity, some of us find innovative and creative ways to make life more interesting for ourselves, but we also wind up helping out the whole of humanity in the process.