Kurt D. Bruner - It Starts at Home: A Practical Guide to Nurturing Lifelong Faith

One of the most insightful leaders in America is Steve Stroope. Weve been friends since teenagers, coworkers in ministry together for almost 40 years, and were always learning from each other. Now Steve has tackled one of the most critical needs today: building strong families. We cant have strong churches, communities, or nations without strong families. Families are foundational. The greatest single influence on my life and leadership was the strong family I grew up in. It Starts at Home is one of the most important books to read this year.

R ICK W ARREN
Founding Pastor of Saddleback Community
Church and author of The Purpose Driven Life

Faith-formation begins at homefor better or worse. No one has done more to make that reality clear and practical than my friend and partner, Kurt Bruner. I urge every leader to read It Starts At Home as a first step toward joining one of the most important movements of this generation.

D R . J OHN T RENT
President of the Center for Strong Families and
coauthor of The Blessing

If the local church is the hope of the world then we must take seriously the churchs responsibility to call couples, parents, and grandparents to create God-honoring homes. Only then will we see the tide of declining generational faith transfer turn. I encourage you to use this book as a tool to spark a movement among those within your sphere of influence.

B ILL H YBELS
Founder of the Willow Creek Association and
author of Just Walk Across The Room

IT
STARTS
AT HOME

A Practical Guide to
Nurturing Lifelong Faith

KURT BRUNER
STEVE STROOPE

FOREWORD BY BILL HYBELS

M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO

2010 by
K URT B RUNER and
S TEVE S TROOPE

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

All websites listed herein are accurate at the time of publication, but may change in the future or cease to exist. The listing of website references and resources does not imply publisher endorsement of the sites entire contents. Groups, corporations, and organizations are listed for informational purposes, and listing does not imply publisher endorsement of their activities.

Editor: Madison Trammel
Interior Design: Ragont Design
Cover Design: John Hamilton Design
Cover Image: iStock. Illustration-John Hamilton
Steven Stroope Photo: Susan Ford Photography

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bruner, Kurt D.
It starts at home : a practical guide to nurturing lifelong faith / Kurt
Bruner, Steve Stroope.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8024-5325-9
1. FamiliesReligious life. 2. Christian education of children.
3. Christian educationHome training. I. Stroope, Steve, 1953- II. Title.
BV4526.3.B78 2010
248.845dc22

2009053308

ISBN: 978-0-8024-5325-9

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Kurt Bruner: To Olivia, Kyle, Shaun,
Troy, and Nicole. You are my favorites!

Steve Stroope: To my dad and mom, Dale and
Frances Stroope, who lived out the principles of this book;
to my best friend and wife, Marsha; to my two
wonderful girls, Rachael and Lydia; to their husbands,
Scott and Mason, who were an answer to many years
of prayer; and to my grandchildren, Jax, Maleah,
Austen, and Boone, who have been four of
Gods most delightful gifts.

Part 1
IT STARTS AT HOME

Part 2
INTENTIONAL COUPLES

Part 3
INTENTIONAL PARENTS

Part 4
INTENTIONAL GRANDPARENTS

Part 5
INTENTIONAL LEADERS

O n October 7, 2006, my daughter gave birth to a bundle of joy named Henry, adding me to the ranks of obnoxiously proud grandparents eager to show photos of a child who, in my unbiased opinion, is the most remarkable ever born. To be honest, I wasnt sure I liked the idea of being called grandpa, especially by the Willow Creek staff! But that all changed the moment I looked into the face of Henry and felt the honor and responsibility that comes with such an important role.

As an unexpected bonus I have found spending time with my grandchild recharges my leadership batteries in two ways. First, we have a ball hanging out together. Second, chasing Henry around the house as he explores, ponders, and mimics Mom, Dad, or Papa reminds me of a vital priority those of us in church leadership often forget. Christianity is caught more than its taught.

If Ive said it once Ive said it a thousand times: The local church is the hope of the world. When we launched the Willow Creek Community Church in a movie theater back in 1975, we had a passion to do whatever we could to turn people who were far from God into fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. That mission drove us to innovate, in order to remove obstacles to people who might be open to the gospel. We used a different paradigm for ministry to begin evaluating our methods from the perspective of the person who might reject traditional forms of religion. We didnt always know what we were doing. But God used our efforts anyway and accomplished amazing things in our church and beyond.

The time has come to innovate once again. The landscape of the world in which we minister has shifted dramatically during the past three decades. The upcoming generation confronts an obstacle to belief that goes beyond worship style, teaching relevance, or church-program excellence, because it is not about whats happening at church. Its about whats missing at home.

Youve probably read the reports. Even the most conservative estimates tell us that we are losing more and more of our own children to unbelief. Many of those most inclined to embrace the gospelchildren, like my grandson, who attend church with their parentsare rejecting the Christian faith. Despite an enormous investment of time and money into some of the most innovative and effective church programs in the history of Christianity, generational faith transference is in serious decline.

As a pastor and grandparent I find this trend alarming. I want nothing more than to see Henry embrace Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I want him to grow deep roots of faith that will enable him to stand strong in a world that has become increasingly antagonistic to Christian belief and practice. Thats why churches like ours work hard to create a welcoming, meaningful weekend experience to make that growth more likely. But, as this book explains, the home is the primary context of lasting spiritual formation. And many homes need serious help.