Sandra Igwe - My Black Motherhood: Mental Health, Stigma, Racism and the System

The transition into motherhood can be difficult for many women, but cultural expectations, socialization, religious beliefs, racism and biases add layer upon layer of additional challenges for Black mothers. Sandras book is honest and raw, providing an analytical lens by documenting and reflecting on daily lived encounters whilst also asserting the validity of Black mothers knowledge. A must-read for anyone working in perinatal services who wants to improve their cultural competence and understand their biases.

Kicki Hansard, doula and author of Secrets of Birth

Sandras book gives a wonderfully candid insight into the experiences and obstacles faced by Black mums all over the country. Its one that ALL health professionals need to have on their bookshelves.

Marley Hall, midwife, speaker and content creator,
www.midwifemarley.com

As a Black mum in Britain, Ive experienced some of the pressures and challenges that Sandra Igwe explores in her book from a difficult birth to feeling isolated and misunderstood by health practitioners. In My Black Motherhood , Sandra shares deeply affecting stories of Black maternity and mental health and lays out a pathway for change, starting by challenging narratives like the Strong Black Woman trope. Reading Sandras book is like listening to a passionate, relatable sister-friend who will help you fight your corner or offer you a shoulder to cry on if you need it. My Black Motherhood acts as both a powerful call to action and a safe space for Black mums to feel seen and heard at last. Im so grateful to Sandra for raising her voice and for stirring up good trouble on this vital cause.

Uju Asika, author of Bringing Up Race: How to Raise
a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World

My Black Motherhood is an eye-opening read that gives a platform to often unheard voices. Sandra Igwe does a brilliant job of not only highlighting the myriad challenges Black mothers are up against, but also championing tangible solutions. Regardless of your connection to the topic, everyone has something to learn from this book.

Jess Austin, First-Person and Opinion Editor, Metro.co.uk

I found the book incredibly powerful. Sandra has captured not only her own experiences but those of many other Black mothers using her own words it is an excellent jumping-off point to investigate your own prejudices. It made me recognize how little I know and understand of (again using Sandras words) multidimensional, multifaceted and multi-layered Black motherhood. I started my reading thinking I would highlight some key quotes to share with others but ended up highlighting one on almost every page. Perhaps the two sentences that stood out most for me were: Trust is earned and Being Black comes with its struggles, being a woman comes with struggles and being a mother comes with its struggles, so imagine being all three. Thank you, Sandra, for the opportunity to read this it made me laugh, it made me cry, but above all, it made me think and question.

Marian Knight, Professor of Maternal and Child
Population Health, University of Oxford

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My Black Motherhood

Mental Health, Stigma, Racism and the System

Sandra Igwe

First published in Great Britain in 2022 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

An imprint of Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

An Hachette UK Company

Copyright Sandra Igwe 2022

The right of Sandra Igwe to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library and the Library of Congress

ISBN 978 1 83997 008 5

e ISBN 978 1 83997 009 2

Printed and bound in Great Britain by TJ Books Limited

Jessica Kingsley Publishers policy is to use papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable products and made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Carmelite House

50 Victoria Embankment

London EC4Y 0DZ

www.jkp.com

I sat on the edge of my bed, arms shaking and aching because I had held her for so long. It was almost dark, with just the illuminating night light on, and although I sang her favourite lullaby that somehow made her unwind, my voice could not be heard. I stayed silent on what I had experienced from 3 March 2016: my treatment, the expectations, my perinatal mind, being dismissed. I was unable to hear and be heard by all the other Black mothers who, like me, had embarked on their journey into motherhood. Born and raised in South London, I watched my Nigerian mother do absolutely everything for me and my three sisters. She just did it all: cleaning, cooking, braiding our hair, ironing our uniforms, taking us to church the list went on. Sometimes I struggle to even remember her just sitting down and resting I mean, what was rest when there was always something to be done? From the gaze of my young and naive eyes, there was a perception that she always seemed to float through motherhood like a swan gliding over a still lake. If there was any frantic legwork going on under the water, it was never obvious to me or my sisters.

Motherhood looked easy, effortless, my personal calling, and I looked forward, eagerly, to the day I would be a mother. After all, that was what my mother named me: Sandra Nneoma:

Nneoma

Name meaning good mother in the Igbo language, southeastern Nigeria.

Most Nneomas are true to their names: they make good mothers. For example, My daughter is an Nneoma . Nneoma will never let her child go hungry.

Traditional African names often have unique stories and meanings behind them. From the day or time a baby is born to the circumstances surrounding the birth, several factors influence the names parents choose for their children.

So was I destined to be a good mother? Even if the pressure wasnt in my name, so many other popular African phrases and sayings place motherhood at the pinnacle of womanhood. Even the Yoruba adage Iya ni wura means mother is gold. Sheesh, gold! Gold is the best-known precious metal for many reasons, but the most noteworthy is its sturdy links to global economies throughout history. Its been used as currency for hundreds and hundreds of years. And thats exactly what motherhood is within the Black community arguably the most inherently valuable status and currency.