Calvin D. Sun - The Monsoon Diaries: A Doctors Journey of Hope and Healing from the ER Frontlines to the Far Reaches of the World

Dedicated to those no longer with us on this plane of physical

existence but who will always remain with us,

especially as long as youre remembered. We remember.

Dad, Alexander S. Sun

Grandpa, Sheng-De Xu

Grandma, Lusa Sun

Everett Jiang

Sonia Sethi

The Monsoon Diaries

Copyright 2022 Calvin D. Sun, MD

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published by Harper Horizon, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus LLC.

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The information in this book has been carefully researched by the authors, and is intended to be a source of information only. Readers are urged to consult with their physicians or other professional advisors to address specific medical or other issues. The author and the publisher assume no responsibility for any injuries suffered or damages incurred during or as a result of the use or application of the information contained herein.

ISBN 978-0-7852-9176-3 (Ebook)

ISBN 978-0-7852-9175-6 (HC)

Epub Edition AUGUST 2022 9780785291763

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021953429

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This is a memoir unlike any I have read before. It reads as if Jack Kerouac were a roving ER doctor on the frontlines of a global pandemic for which healthcare systems the world over were totally unprepared. One minute I am venturing alongside a young man who loses himself in the far corners of the earth as he tries to discover himself and his purpose. The next, I am in the proverbial belly of the beast with him as he dives headfirst into an outbreak of apocalyptic proportions. This book is about how the intersection of these divergent worlds leads that man, Dr. Calvin Sun, to find his place and, ultimately, his voice.

Like most everyone in the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, when I was stuck at home with my device attached to me like an appendage, I spent endless hours scrolling for new information about the mysterious virus that had become rooted in our country. Refreshing my news feed to learn more about how the virus was ravaging New York City became an almost rote action. I watched every press conference; I read and reread everything posted online about the rapid spread of the new coronavirus. I followed anyone on social media who might have insights into that upon which our country was embarking.

One day as I was scouring my feed, I came across a cable news report that featured a very young-looking Asian American doctor. Dr. Calvin Sun looked like a kid in his twenties with what appeared to be a bruise on the top of his nose. I would later learn that it was, in fact, a bruise from wearing suction goggles for multiple consecutive twelve-hour shifts. It turned out Dr. Sun, a per diem New York City emergency room doctor, was thirty-three, but he spoke with a composure and urgency befitting of those I saw on daily network press conferences. But more than the others, I found myself glued to the way in which Dr. Sun described in explicit detail the scenes playing out in emergency rooms across the city. He talked about how as a per diem doctor, he can choose when and where he wants to work, but in a wartime scenario such as this, its a callingI have to go in.

Amid the TV tickers bearing the numbers of the dead and infected, Dr. Sun spoke so commandingly, I could not help but take notice. I found him on Instagram (@monsoondiaries) and followed him immediately.

What are monsoon diaries? As I looked through Dr. Suns feed, I got a glimpse of his prepandemic life. Baghdad. Islamabad. Chernobyl. Madagascar. Nauru. How was this young doctor able to travel to so many distant lands? How did he possibly have the time? I didnt have the energy to dig into the hows and whys; at the time, all I wanted to do was find out more about COVID-19. And frankly, colorful and adventurous travel seemed like something from a bygone era.

Nevertheless, Dr. Suns feed became one of my go-to sources for information about what was happening inside hospitals and among healthcare workers. It was a portal and an aggregator for those inside to decry the horrors of what they were experiencing. And it became a battle cry and a declaration of how Americas highly trained medical regiment was getting sent into an ambush mission without the armor or arms to engage perhaps the deadliest, most unpredictable aggressor the world has known. But through it all, Dr. Sun remained steadfast, undeterred, and utterly battle ready.

I never could have known in those early months of the pandemic, as I hung on to every word and every one of his posts, how travel to far-flung locationsor monsooning, as he likes to call itshaped and helped prepare him for what was to come. Dr. Sun spent the first half of his life trying to live up to impossible expectations and was gripped by impostor syndrome that forced him to question himself and what he was supposed to do with his life. But his incredible journey of taking a leap into the unknown and finding himself with no one else to rely on allowed him to reframe his fear into a resolve that led him to suit up and face down whatever lay before him.

There are heroes among us, and Dr. Calvin Sun is one of them. Read this book.

Lisa Ling

May 2022

We have a code!

Make sure everyones got all their PPE on! I yell, running.

Habits take over. Hurry in. Handrails down. Begin CPR. Confirm roles. Wheel in crash cart. Push meds.

The resuscitation symphony begins. Ventilators chime. Monitors ring. Ribs crack. Check pulse. Resume compressions. Otherwise, silence.

The other patients watch in horror. Theres no space here to close privacy curtains, with stretchers and patients jammed into every spare inch of the emergency department, but out of instinct we try anyway. Our curtains then deliberately fight us by tangling themselves under the wheels of two separate gurneys.

Ah fuck the curtains, well work with an audience.

The whole world has been our audience.

Hospital administrators informed us earlier this week that in order to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people, we wont be able to do everything for everyone. But habits are hard to break. Some of us will try to do it all anyway. Its all we know how to do.

The habit of adrenaline kicks in and emotions betray logic. Maybe I do like this. Maybe I still have a purpose.

No. How could you like this? Youre living a never-ending disaster.

OK. I hate this more than I like it.