Douglas Esper - Reintroducing Chuck Mosley

Reintroducing Chuck Mosley

Life On and Off the Road

Douglas Esper

Reintroducing Chuck Mosley

Life On and Off the Road

By Douglas Esper

Front Cover Photo: John Patrick Gatta

Front Cover Design: Jim Brown

Back Cover Drawing: Brian Walsby

Chapter Title Design: Amy Hunter

Editor: Brian Paone

Interior Formatting: Kari Holloway

Published by Scout Media

Copyright 2019

ISBN: 978-1-7330740-7-0

www.ScoutMediaBooksMusic.com

One hundred sixty shows, two rushed recording sessions, a reunion with an old band, and a Hail Mary shot at a comeback represent the tip of the iceberg of my twenty-year journey with Chuck Mosley.

Chuck (Faith No More, Bad Brains, Cement) toured the globe as a vocalist, appeared on magazine covers, rubbed elbows with idols, and, through it all, he remained 100% convinced he didnt deserve your praise. Yet, he desired acceptance more than almost anything else.

A self-proclaimed junkie and a liar, Chuck shot himself in the foot over and over by shooting up elsewhere on his body. Meanwhile, I stumbled and fumbled and pushed and pulled and scraped and cried and begged and borrowed to earn him extra chances to prove himself. We loaded a van with a guitar, a conga, and an unfinished legacy hoping to reintroduce the world to Chuck Mosley.

About Chuck:

Jonathan Davis of Korn: I was blown away by his voice. So original. Chuck has a great style that you can tell its him as soon as he starts singing. Im a big fan and I was honored when he asked me to appear on his new stuff.

DMC of RUN-DMC: Some of Chucks and Faith No Mores songs sound like we all come from the same family! He tore shit up!!!!

Matt Wallace, Producer (Faith No More, Maroon Five, The Replacements): I was always a fan of his He wore his heart on his sleeve I thought he was pretty fearless to sing about some of the things he sang about.

For my friend, bandmate, idol, and road wife, Chuck Mosley. I miss you.

This book is dedicated to my wife, Michele Esper. Without her support and guidance, neither the Reintroduce Yourself Tour or Chucks solo album wouldve happened.

And also to Pip, Erica, and Sophie. You were Chucks true loves, his family. I am so sorry for all you endured and for your loss. If I learned anything through this its that life is short, so I hope you find peace and acceptance and love within each other to move on as a family.

Thanks to everyone who booked, promoted, played, and attended our shows and to those who hosted us in your homes or fed us along the way. Special thanks to Donn Wobser, Matt Wallace, Thom Hazaert, and Anne DAgnillo.

*Portions of an interview with Chuck Mosley by Justin Vellucci first appeared on PopDose.com. Used with permission.

*Portions of press release by Faith No More distributed by Speakeasy PR

Im a junkie and a thief and a liar. Youll just have to deal with it.

~ Chuck Mosley

Are you sitting down?

Chuck is dead.

Im surrounded by photos, CDs, videos, show posters, guitar picks, set lists, and endless memories of my time with Chuck. Each bit of the past represents a puzzle piece that, if joined, would tell the tale of my friends life. The problem with that is I cant make sense of what he left behind, no matter how many songs I listen to or photos I examine. Some pieces have jagged edges, while others are outlined in smooth curves, and none of them look like corner pieces. I thought he would stick around longer for me to understand. And why should his puzzle fall into place? Chuck didnt do anything the easy way.

For years, he and I pushed and pulled at each other to get his autobiography written. One of the main sticking points in Chucks hesitation was that he wanted a proper endinga climax that showed how much he had accomplished. He wanted a positive comeback story full of success so hed feel more comfortable talking about the dark times, the drug use, and the opportunities he squandered via his complicated process of excuses and self-sabotage.

He told Justin Vellucci of Popdose, The books gonna be a tell-all, but we dont have the exact ending yet. Ill either end up in prison or happily whistling down the road, playing shows. Hopefully, God forbid, it shouldnt end with my death.

Im not going to let his death end this book or conclude his lifes story, but unfortunately, its where we must start. Although this isnt the tell-all bio book we had envisioned, I think its an important look into the life of a true, unique artist who touched everyone he met in some form or fashion and the army of support staff that tried to help him return to the world. By the end of this novel, you wont understand his inner workingsafter twenty years of friendship, Im still searching to gain that insightbut youll certainly get as good a glimpse as I can provide from my point of view.

Chuck was complicated. He hid behind layer upon layer of safe guards, rules of conversation, self-doubt, a disarming charm, and a never-ending drive to ensure everyone loved him. The flipside of that coin, however, was Chuck had no hesitation to tell any stranger he met on the street intimate details of his struggles with addiction or of maintaining his sanity day in and day out.

Thats part of the fascination, for me anyway. I played over 150 shows with Chuck during the course of two years and had countless adventures with him over the last two decades, and to watch him operate was mesmerizing, frustrating, and humbling all at once.

Chucks fear of failure was only eclipsed by his fear of success.

Greg Gould, who knew Chuck at an early age, put it this way: Chuck seemed very much like Basquiat to me. Having gotten into art, I had spent many summers reading bios of various artists, and it kind of struck me, in afterthought, about Chuck. Some people just arent born with that normal ability to create the calluses needed to grow up and be an adult in this world. As a result, you get a very genuine, somewhat childlike adult. Im just saying that in my impression, Basquiat was very much the samevery fragile and gentle, not really thinking through some situations, highly spontaneousbut, to protect, Chuck often took drugs, and the side effects of that meant missing practice, not performing when it really counted, etc. He could be absolutely frustrating in those ways, but he was not an asshole, so, hard to hold onto a grudge for too long.

That comment hit home with me as I had thought Jeffrey Wright could totally nail Chuck if they ever made a movie about him, due largely to his portrayal of Basquiat in a movie about the artist. I also see a lot of similarities in his behavior to the stories I've heard of Jim Morrison of The Doors.

I think if Chuck had been given the option when he had turned fifteen to not age any further, he wouldve jumped at the chance. Surfing, skating, sneaking into punk shows, chasing girls on the beach, and making music was all he ever wanted. He desired an endless party that everyone was invited to attend. And no one had to work the next day. And no one got sick. And David Bowie played a free show every night.

A lot of people want this, sure. It sounds greatno bigotry, no sexism, no racism, no unpaid bills. The difference is, Chuck believed it would happen. His devotion to that idea never wavered, causing a lot of problems. Small obstacles often became massive roadblocks to him. He got distracted by tiny details and unrelated issues so that it became hard to make any progress on his art, his career, or his family life.