Table of Contents
Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, love more, and all good things will be yours.
Swedish Proverb
Introduction: You Can Beat Stress
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Do you have physical symptoms that your doctor (or your instincts) tells you are stress-related? Or does a family member suffer from stress but hasnt yet taken steps to deal with it?
This book can help.
Stress is not a disease, but it can cause or exacerbate diseases. Its vague enough to be blamed for almost anything from a bad mood to a heart condition. Yet its concrete enough to cause certain hormones to course through your bloodstream and affect your appetite, weight, skin, and even your heart and other vital organs.
Most of us would say we know what to do when were stressed. Try to relax, maybe take a vacation or get a massage. But even if we follow through on these actions, are they the most effective ways we can spend the little time and energy left over in our busy lives? And are they simple and affordable so that we can make them part of our day-to-day routine? A vacation is a great way to temporarily relieve certain kinds of stress, but most of us cant afford to head out of town often enough to make a long-term difference. A biweekly massage might do the trick, but the costs add up quickly.
Weve come up with simple, proven methods to beat stress and have given you a variety of these ideas to sample until you find the combination that works best for you. Start by taking the quiz on page 6 to identify your stress style. Then, fill out the brief worksheets or checklists in those sections that relate to your situation to see what you can do to reduce your stress right now. And enjoy the inspirational stories others have written and allowed us to share with you.
So dont forego the vacation youve been planning. And theres no need to cancel that massage youve scheduled. But read on to find out how you, or your loved ones, can reduce or eliminate stress by making simple changes in your attitude and behavior that will leave you feeling relaxed, energized and able to be fully engaged in your active life.
Take care.
Leslie Godwin, MFCC, author of From Burned Out to Fired Up
Looking for the Moon
Moon, Mama, Jessica says, grabbing my arm and pointing at the window. She is obsessed with the moon. But until she was five years old, she didnt even know it existed. Before that, it was just the two of us and bright lights and hospital beds and a long and gradual awakening to awareness.
Once she discovered the moon and how it changes from one evening to the next, she fixated on it, demanding to know how it waxes and wanes. She memorized the words: crescent and half, gibbous and full. On her seventh birthday last July, the new moon had not yet risen. After she scanned the sky unsuccessfully, she asked with a sigh if I thought the dogs had eaten it.
I practice patience with her obsessions: rock collecting, the three songs we must sing in order before bed, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and her shrill rejection of the word little. Patience when she was a newborn and nobody could explain why she was having seizures; patience when she was seven months old and the neurologist finally gave a name to the illnesstuberous sclerosis, a rare disease that causes tumors and seizure disorder, and in Jessicas case, malformed her brain; patience when the surgeons removed most of the left side of her brain, leaving me to cope with the wreckage of my dreams and a little girl who couldnt even hold her head up. I know a lot about patience, more than I would like to know.
Sometimes my patience runs out, like right now, as I try to fix dinner while she demands that I look at the moon. She always stands precisely where I need to be next. Its little kid radar: how to best position herself where she cannot be ignored. In some regards, she is like every other child I have known.
Ive got a heavy pan in one hand and a colander in the other, and Im keeping an eye on the stove because the burner is still lit, and it would be just like Jessica to stick her hand on it. It doesnt matter how many times I tell her not to touch the stove, she doesnt remember. Her mind is like this colander. How many times have I told her? Ten thousand times. But then try to get her to forget something, like the word dammit, or the phrase your father is a pain in the ass.
Moon, Mama! Jessica says more urgently as I uncap the olive oil.
Yes, the moon, I say absently. The phone rings. I toss the drained noodles back in the pan, add a slosh of olive oil, wipe my hands on my jeans and answer the phone.
Its Publishers Clearing House, but I know Im not a winner and hang up. The oil sizzles on the stove, and I catch the pan up, narrowly avoiding a collision with Jessica.
What kind of moon, Mama? Jessica persists.
I dont know. I cant see the moon, I say, tossing the noodles into a bowl. I wonder what happened to my wooden spoon. It was here a minute ago. And what did Jessica do with the Parmesan cheese? Jessica was probably trying to be helpful, and took it out of the refrigerator while I was on the phone, which would mean its... where?
I look at the counter tops cluttered with dishes but dont see the cheese. I do find the spoon on the floor, just exactly where youd expect it to be. I toss it into the sink, then scrabble through the drawers trying to find a substitute.
What kind of moon, Mama? Jessica raises her voice and plants herself in my path, thrusting her face toward mine. Sometimes she takes no prisoners.
I dont know! I say. Wheres the cheese? Whered you put the damned cheese?
Her eyes fill with tears. Great. How hard can it be to make spaghetti without causing your kid to cry? How hard can that be? I am sure other mothers accomplish it all the time.
I kneel down and take Jessicas face in my hands. Im sorry, I say. I had a tough day today. And its snowing again, and Im tired, and I yelled when I shouldnt have.
The tears tremble for a moment.
Can Mama have a big hug? I ask, and I give her a big hug, and I say I love her and Im sorry I yelled. I rock back on my heels and look into her big brown eyes. I want her to say its okay, or that shes mad I yelled.
Instead, she looks up at me and says very seriously, Moon is full.
Yes, indeed. Well, thats the main thing, I guess.
The moon is full, I say, and ruffle my fingers through her short brown hair, and find the Parmesan cheese in the microwave, just where youd expect it to be.
Jennifer Lawler
Take a Deep Breath
Youre on edge, jittery, anxious... youre stressed! Join the club. Between trying to cram more activities into less time, coping with lifes challenges and taking care of loved ones, many of us are feeling the effects of stress.
Stress has plenty of negative effects on your body and mind. Ever get a tension headache? Thats stress. Ever search frantically for the car keysthat youre holding in your hand? That can be stress, too. The good news is that if you regularly practice techniques to reduce stress, youll reap such benefits as:
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