Understanding Adult Survivors of Domestic Violence in Childhood
Still Forgotten, Still Hurting
Gill Hague with Ann Harvey and Kathy Willis
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
First published in 2012
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
73 Collier Street
London N1 9BE, UK
and
400 Market Street, Suite 400
Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright Gill Hague 2012
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Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Hague, Gill.
Understanding adult survivors of domestic violence in childhood : still
forgotten, still hurting / Gill Hague, with Ann Harvey and Kathy Willis.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-84905-096-8 (alk. paper)
1. Family violence--Psychological aspects. 2. Victims of family
violence. 3. Children and violence--Psychological aspects. 4. Psychic
trauma in children. I. Harvey, Ann. II. Willis, Kathy. III. Title.
HV6626.H254 2012
362.82924--dc23
2012019080
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 84905 096 8
eISBN 978 0 85700 279 2
Converted to eBook by EasyEPUB
To all those adults who experienced domestic violence as children.
On behalf of Gill Hague:
As this is my last book, to all the violence against women activists, survivors and practitioners with whom I have worked over 40 years. To Dorothy, Elizabeth and Tom in memoriam, and to Cassie, Dave and Keiran, with great love.
On behalf of Ann Harvey:
To Chris and Andy with deepest love and thanks for your company on my journey into feminism and the search for greater possibilities in our relationships as women and men. To all the children and young people with whom I have worked: there are no adequate words to express my appreciation and thanks for being allowed to share your journeys to recovery, for your courage and for all that you have taught me. May your futures be safe and full of love and play.
Acknowledgements
This book would not have been possible without the insights and help of many people. First, our thanks to all the survivors of domestic abuse with whom we have interacted over the years and who, through their courage, expertise and resilience, have given us so much. Second, we would like to thank all the practitioners, policy-makers, violence against women workers and activists who have shared their knowledge and insights with us.
Particular thanks to the adults who had experienced domestic violence as children who were specifically interviewed in depth, and to the members of the lengthy focus group, whose insights and advice form part of the backbone of the book. All the participants gave us their time and knowledge willingly and sometimes at some emotional cost, while also agreeing that, in the end, the focus group and interviews had been personally empowering. All were deeply committed to contributing to the book in order to assist others facing the same life traumas that they had faced.
Our sincere gratitude, in particular, to the poets and testimony-givers. The various poets who contributed to this book were all women. Often working closely with the first author, they expressed their own personal experiences in a series of beautiful, brave and painful poems.
The three testimony-givers contributed personal stories that are moving and beautifully presented. Writing these painful testimonies was a labour of love and commitment for all of them. They all drew profoundly on their own emotional resilience in order to reflect so honestly on their experiences as children, to revisit the past and to construct powerful pieces of writing. They also offer advice to other adults with such childhood experiences. It is an honour to have their testimonies in this book which bring it vividly to life, together with the unique and powerful poems.
Our special gratitude to Vicki Banyard from the University of New Hampshire, who was an International Visiting Fellow at the Centre for Gender and Violence Research in Bristol in 2010, and who met with the first author on several occasions about the book, contributed her own related and authoritative work extensively, and gave sensitive and invaluable advice on various chapters.
Thanks also, and as ever, to Nicola Harwin, the Chief Executive of the national UK domestic violence charity, Womens Aid and to Ellen Malos, Centre for Gender and Violence Research, University of Bristol and Co-founder of the original Domestic Violence Research Group. They have enriched both our lives (particularly the first authors) and the struggle against violence against women beyond measure. Nicola also commented helpfully on the text.
Cathy Humphreys and Lucy Healey from the University of Melbourne spent much time locating and sending relevant articles, way beyond the call of duty. Very many thanks to them. The texts enriched the book. Marianne Hester also provided references, key books and (as always) authoritative insights on the subject of children and domestic violence for which we are most grateful.
People who offered particular help, materials or insights (sometimes responding to requests for assistance and sometimes without realising it) are too numerous to mention but include, in alphabetical order, Ann Devereaux, Geetanjali Gangoli, Aisha Gill, MaryAnn Hushlak, Liz Kelly, Lucy (surname withheld), the late Joseph M. (surname withheld), Audrey Mullender, Lorraine Radford, Ravi Thiara and Pam Trevithick. Thanks also to all the members of the Centre for Gender and Violence Research.
Cassie Hague, Lynn-Marie Sardinha and, most especially, Debbie Allnock contributed very helpfully and at some length on the manuscript drafts. Dave Merrick contributed ideas, ongoing in-depth discussion of the issues, advice on content and structure, emotional support and detailed edits. Our sincere thanks to him.
Our gratitude to Jessica Kingsley Publishers for very helpful publishing, editing and correcting assistance.
A special mention, for Gill, of Joe (Urch), Barista par excellence at Acapellass cafe who served her endless super-hot, flat lattes while she wrote on her laptop always with a smile, pleasantries to share and Your usual, Gill?
Last of all, particular thanks to our dear friends, mentors, partners and family members for emotional support and caring.
