Gwyneth Daniel Cheeseman - Tightrope Walking: Everything You Need to Know About OCPD and Perfectionism

We all know one or more.

Theyre more often than not the most decent good-hearted people. But they tread a tightrope, a knife edge, all day every day. Its hard. Its stressful. They suffer. But they have to be in CONTROL everywhere and all the time, even though that is not possible.

Here are a couple of stereotypes. She spends all day polishing and dusting her house, replacing everything EXACTLY where it was when she picked it up to dust under it. Shes fanatical about sorting the washing properly. Youll know, too, the bloke who mows the lawn the same way each time, up and down in straight lines. He even has a line strung across it nice and tight so he can keep dead square with the edges. His plants are in straight lines at precise intervals. Hes the one who tells people off in the street for chucking their chip papers on the pavement.

In the house, hes got all his booze on shelves in a cupboard in strictest order. Wine bottles at the bottom, sorted by vintage. Beer bottles second up, sorted by colour of the label. Cans of beer next shelf up, sorted by brand. Liqueurs on the top sorted by country. The lines must be exactly half an inch from the edge at the front. Hes put a mark along the shelves to show where this runs.

Mrs Tightrope Walker will tear into you if you move one of her ornaments. If you do an errand for her and spend 76p when it could have been 48p, shes horrified and wants the difference back from you as a punishment for your stupidity. And yet you know shes got teapots full of money stashed away somewhere.

If you have a drink with Mr Tightrope Walker, dont put the empty bottle in the recycling bin until its washed out, drained and dried. It has to be tucked alongside the rest so theres room for the sorted packets of newspapers. Theyre all in date order in case hes missed some out.

As for the bottles. No, idiot, wine bottles here, beer there.

Its all very logical. And hygienic too. You can see the reasoning, but you wouldnt bother yourself, would you?

Mrs TR Walker is on the Parish Council and does Meals on Wheels. She takes the left-overs home and freezes them in case theres a famine.

Hes on the school Board of Governors. But theyre all idiots and too sloppy. Hes probably right, but you wouldnt care. He cares, a lot, so hes leaving.

In this handbook, Ive referred to these people as Tightrope Walkers (TR Walkers). This is because they have a terrible balancing act to do. Theyre up on their own, doing what is right. Treading a fine line, between what is perfectly correct in their own minds, and what would be a slip-up, a failing/falling, an error.

What is more, theyd like other people to be up there with them following their clever example. Not wobbling the wire. If one does chooses to go along, then if the TR Walker falls off, theres someone there to kiss it all better.

Work can be hell for TR Walker, unless its a job thats rule based. But only if TR Walker agrees with colleagues. Sensible rules are just the job, as when driving a train along the track.

But whatever the job is, its going to be a strain. After all, TR Walker is someone who wants to do everything properly, because it is possible to be perfect, isnt it? We all know it is, but most people cant be bothered, whether theyre in control or not.

Being perfect all day is stressful and exhausting. So home is where TR Walker can relax. Everything there will be perfect, surely? This is far from the case in many instances. Its not unheard of for a partner to breath a sigh of relief if and when the TR Walker is out or goes away for a time. When TR Walker returns, theres a scramble to get everything back in order.

If everythings in its place, no challenges, no problems. Unless theres someone around who does things differently. Then its a case of making things happen properly. This might involve shouting or even a thump to make the point, and tears all round.

Frank Sinatra did it his way. TR Walker does too. TR Walkers are happiest if people agree to do things their way. Wouldnt we all be? But it matters, really matters, to Mr and Mrs TR Walker.

Children can suffer from OCPD traits too, as we shall see.

This handbook has been written for everyone who needs to know about obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). Note the word personality.

Its not about hand washing or rituals, known as OCD a question of excessive anxiety about cleanliness. OCPD is about a personality characteristic for getting things just so, according to the preferences of Mr or Mrs TR Walker.

TR Walkers are prone to depression and hard to treat. (1988 Pilkonis et al., 1996 Corruble).

This small work has been specially written for people who are actually concerned with OCPD. The style, including the cartoons, is as light-hearted as possible to make it an easy read. The language too, is informal.

Many people dont know OCPD exists, but will recognise the picture from the introductory pages, or from the sketches on the cover and on the pages inside.

As already noted, OCPD isnt the same as OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). OCD has to do with rituals such as hand washing or not stepping on the lines in the pavement. OCPD is a personality disorder with, in some cases similar traits to OCD.

Freud called it anal-retentive. Others call it perfectionist, or anankastic. OCPD occurs in about 1% of the general population. It is seen in 3-10% of psychiatric outpatients. The disorder most often occurs in men.

A TR Walker needs to keep control over her or his life, so is constantly getting bogged down with detail, and just wont let things be done in any other way than the way he or she wants it. Like folding up the washing in a set fashion so there arent any creases. Or not wasting money, by watching over each cent or penny. Balancing the chequebook or credit card with the statement, even every day.

Saving money is a form of hoarding, a favourite TR Walker habit. Being on time. Like the man alongside, whos just to get his four timepieces synchronised.

OCPD goes along with being adamant about being right. Some people call this stubbornness or rigidity.

More, given that no one else is likely to do things properly, TR Walker doesnt like letting other people do things that TR Walker can do personally.

You may know someone who says, Leave that to me. Ill do it. I know how to do it properly.

The following groups of people might find this handbook useful:

People who have to deal every day at home with someone who seems to be constantly on edge about what has to be done, how its to be done, and even when and where, and above all why. This might affect a parent, a partner, a sibling, a child in unseen ways.

Its also for people who work with someone who shows OCPD characteristics. TR Walker may make allies of superiors, or be hypercritical of the way things are run, and even knowingly break the rules, often on the quiet.

Parents whore worried they have a child whos persnickety, maybe about food might also find it helpful. The child loves organising everything. Maybe even dictates to the grown-ups. If the parents know about OCPD, they might worry about their child developing full-blown OCPD as an adult.