Brian D. Mendler - Strategies for Successful Classroom Management: Helping Students Succeed Without Losing Your Dignity or Sanity

To Laura

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good

Brian Mendler

To my loving grandchildren

Yocheved Chana, Betzalel Zeev, Noa Bareket,

Eli Seth, Ryan Joseph, Megan Alana, and

Chana Rivka. You are the joy of my life.

Rick Curwin

To my grandchildren

Caleb and Ava for making me feel young again.

Your innocence and inquisitiveness reminds me of how natural it is to want to learn and love. I adore you both.

Allen Mendler

Copyright 2008 by The Teacher Learning Center, LLC

All rights reserved. When forms and sample documents are included, their use is authorized only by educators, local school sites, and/or noncommercial or nonprofit entities that have purchased the book. Except for that usage, no part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by anyinformation storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Mendler, Brian.
Strategies for successful classroom management: helping students succeed without losing your dignity or sanity/Brian Mendler, Richard L. Curwin, Allen N. Mendler.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-4129-3783-2 (cloth)

ISBN 978-1-4129-3784-9 (pbk.)

1. School discipline. 2. Behavior modification. 3. Classroom management. I. Curwin, Richard L., 1944- II. Mendler, Allen N. III. Title.

LB3012.M462 2008

371.102'4dc22 2007036306

This book is printed on acid-free paper.

07 08 09 10 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

I would like to begin by thanking my dad, mentor, and friend, Allen Mendler. Dad, you have spent your life dedicated to making the world a better place for children. Thanks for trusting me to carry on the Discipline With Dignity message and for being the best father a guy could have.

To Rick Curwin, an amazing teacher, mentor, and friend: Thanks for creating the best classroom management program in the world, and thanks for allowing me to carry it forward.

Mom, you are a wonderful parent, educator, and friend. I love you.

Jason, your hard work, dedication, and focus are traits that I admire. Thanks for your support, friendship, and love. You are an amazing human being and I am proud to be your brother. Lisa, you are smart, kind, caring, and beautiful. I love you.

Ticia, I admire and respect you so much. My brother is lucky to have you as his wife and I am lucky to have you as a sister-in-law and friend. Thanks for your dedication to Jason, Caleb, Ava, and Belly.

To my students, many of whom are mentioned by name in this book, including AJ, Anthony, Ashley, Ben, Dan, Jenna, Joe, Kyle, Liz, Mike, Russell, and all others I had the pleasure of working with: I didnt know how to teach until I met you.

Ms. Farrell, you are an amazing person, educator, friend, and colleague. Thanks for your unrelenting support and dedication. You made my life and the lives of our students better. I will always be grateful.

Rush-Henrietta and Wheatland-Chili had the guts to take a chance on a young, energetic, and occasionally opinionated teacher. Jim Decamp and Kerry Dempsey taught me so much. Thanks to each of you.

To Mike and Bud at St. John Fisher College, thanks for your dedication to me. I am proud to teach at such a fine institution.

A special thanks to Becky Zelesnikar and her fourth graders at Longridge Elementary for allowing me to be a part of their class this summer.

To my Monday and Tuesday night support groups: None of this book was possible without my meetings. I learned to be honest, responsible, and committed. You taught me that truth is most important, even though it is not always easy. Kevin, Chuck, Connie, Bruno, Sandy, Bill, and anyone else brave enough to come, helped change my life. Keep coming back. It works if you work it so work it. Youre worth it.

To my little brother Victor and the Big Brothers Big Sisters program: Vic, you are a wonderful part of my life. I am proud to be your friend, mentor, and brother.

Brian Mendler

This project would not have happened without the work of our wonderful staff at the Teacher Learning Center and Discipline Associates: Jon, Allison, Jamie, Jennifer, and Heidi. In addition, we are extremely fortunate to have an outstanding group of associates that support, share, and grow our work with educators throughout the country: Willeta Corbett, Jerry Evanski, Mary Beth Hewitt, Donald Price, Colleen and David Zawadzki, and Cynthia Glenn.

Thanks to Scott Pecore for your friendship, advice, support, and consultation.

To Alison Hope, Veronica Stapleton, and all the fine people at Corwin Press: Thank you so much for your dedication, patience, and support. We are so grateful for your hard work and professionalism.

Finally, to all dedicated teachers for the daily effort and persistence it takes to make differences in the lives of your students: We thank you on their behalf.

Brian, Rick, and Allen

In addition, the contributions of the following reviewers are gratefully acknowledged:

Kathryn Fitzgerald Abels, MSW

EC Resource Teacher

Charlotte Mecklenberg Schools

Charlotte, NC

Deborah Alexander-Davis, EdD

Educational Consultant, Adjunct Professor, Research Associate, Retired Elementary Principal 2004 Tennessee Principal of the Year

Kingston, TN

Judy Brunner

Author and Consultant

Edu-Safe LLC

Springfield, MO

Catherine Kilfoyle Duffy

English Department Chairperson

Three Village Central School District

Stony Brook, NY

Sheila Fisher

Principal

Maria Weston Chapman Middle School

East Weymouth, MA

Barbara K. Given, PhD

Director, Adolescent and Adult Learning Research Center, Krasnow Institute for Advanced Study, and Director, Center for Honoring Individual Learning Diversity, an International Learning Styles Center