Eli Altman - Dont Call It That: A Naming Workbook

How names make our lives easier.

When you were in grade school, some librarian probably told you not to judge a book by its cover. Then he or she probably went on to tell you how you shouldnt judge people by their proverbial covers because were all so complex and on and on. Seems like good enough advice, right?

The only problem is, everyone judges books by their covers.

The psychology behind this is pretty basic. Were constantly bombarded by tons of products, advertising, and marketing to the point where were not mentally equipped to pay attention to everything that ends up in front of our two little eyes.

If you had to catalog every brand you came upon in a single day, it would be an all-consuming task. The world is saturated with brands, and, as a result, advertisers get excited when two percent of the exposed audience responds activelyfor example, clicking on an ad, retweeting, or like-ing a Facebook post.

The result is some mental triage. We subconsciously set up simple tests to take small amounts of surface-level information, like what a company is called and how it looks, in order to instantaneously decide whether its worth paying attention to.

We pay attention to the content that catches our attention. Its a coping mechanism for the all-out marketing blitz we face every day of our lives.

If we didnt develop a way to figure out whats worth paying attention to, wed spend months in the toothpaste aisle at the grocery store comparing anticavity claims and being mesmerized by foil packaging.

With such a small window to catch someones attention, what you call yourself becomes important. This need is amplified for startups. They only have so much time to show people that theyre gaining traction before funding dries up. Its hard to gain traction if people cant remember what youre called. The name is often the first thing anyone will come in contact with. Its your first impression. Do you want your first impression with your audience to be something thats cool and interesting and helps you tell your story? Or do you want it to be something that sounds like everything else and gets ignored?

Since a name is a very compact, easy-to-communicate piece of information, a good name can grab peoples attention instantly. A good name can make people want to learn more. It can also make people smile or laugh. A good name can let people know how you feel about the world around you.

To get you into the process of naming things, Ive structured this book as a series of exercises. The exercises lead from one to the next. Its hands-on for a reason. Theres a difference between studying art history and studying art. That is to say, this book isnt about the theory or philosophy behind naming. Its simply about the process of naming.

Heads Up

When I read through my first draft of this book, I realized that I had referred interchangeably to products, companies, and services. In most cases they all function similarly, and for clarity, in this final version of the book, Ive called them all brands.

ii: Fail Early

Fail Early

Bad names are your best friend.

One of the things that frustrates me and that people dont appreciate is that there are so many bad movies. You have to have some feeling about how bad a movie can be before you can appreciate the good ones.

Andrew Sarris

Heads Up

The hardcopy of DONT CALL IT THAT is a workbook that is meant to be written in. You will notice some ruled lines in this version where you would be writing in the hardcopy. Unless you want to use a Sharpie on your e-reader, doing the exercises in a notepad or on a sheet of paper should do just fine.

Exercise 1

So lets start with something pretty simple. Write down the idea behind your brand in one sentence or phrase. Dont overthink it. Maybe its an upscale ice cream truck or intuitive video editing software or hypermilitant yoga. Whatever floats your boat.

Exercise 2

Now, come up with 15 or so really bad names for your project. If were doing upscale ice cream, maybe something like:

iScream

Premium Ice Cream, Inc.

Cream of the Ice

Not Popsicles

Cold Cream

Milk Gone Bad

32 Flavors

Flavorz Extreme

Zoklivity

You get the picture.

Exercise 3

Go back to the previous page. Write down why each name is bad.

Premium Ice Cream, Inc.: Zzzzzzzzz

iScream: Get sued by Apple. People will spell it wrong. Feels too sterile.

Cold Cream: Sounds like an ointment from the drug store.

32 Flavors: Were way better than Baskin-Robbins.

Zoklivity: What the fuck does this mean?

Were starting with bad names for a few reasons. Primarily, its a lot easier to think of bad stuff than good stuff. This is evidenced by how negative of a place the internet can beget one reference wrong and you get flamed from all directions. Additionally, figuring out what makes names bad is a good place to start thinking about what makes names good. Flip the switch on the bad attributes of these names, and you start to get some qualities that you might want to focus on.

So lets look at why bad names are bad:

Theyre descriptive: Unless youre doing something truly compelling, having a name that describes what you do is a guaranteed way to make sure people never pay attention to you. An example I always like to use is the airline, Air- Tran. They do transportationin the airfascinating. Sure they might be a successful company, but their name is sleep-inducing and hard to remember, and says absolutely nothing about their point of view. Then again, AirTran has a good reason for a bland nameit needed to fly under the radar after ditching its previous name, ValuJet, following the 1996 crash. Think of a few descriptive names and write them below. It shouldnt be hardtheyre a dime a dozen.