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Brené Brown - Rising Strong

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The physics of vulnerability is simple: If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall. This is a book about what it takes to get back up and how owning our stories of disappointment, failure, and heartbreak gives us the power to write a daring new ending. Struggle can be our greatest call to courage and Rising Strong, our clearest path to deeper meaning, wisdom and hope.

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Contents
This is a work of nonfiction Nonetheless some of the names and personal - photo 1
This is a work of nonfiction Nonetheless some of the names and personal - photo 2This is a work of nonfiction Nonetheless some of the names and personal - photo 3

This is a work of nonfiction. Nonetheless, some of the names and personal characteristics of the individuals involved have been changed in order to disguise their identities. Any resulting resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Copyright 2015 by Bren Brown

Illustrations copyright 2015 Simon Walker

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Spiegel & Grau, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

S PIEGEL & G RAU and the H OUSE colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Grateful acknowledgment is made to the following for permission to reprint previously published material:

BMG Rights Management (US) LLC: Excerpt from In Spite of Ourselves, words and music by John Prine, copyright 1999 by Weona Music (BMI)/BMG Bumblebee (BMI). All rights administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC. All rights reserved. Used by permission of BMG Rights Management (US) LLC.

Hal Leonard Corporation: Excerpt from The Devil Went Down to Georgia, words and music by Charlie Daniels, John Thomas Crain, Jr., William Joel DiGregorio, Fred Laroy Edwards, Charles Fred Hayward, and James Wainwright Marshall, copyright 1979 by Songs of Universal, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.

Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC: Excerpt from Delta, written by David Crosby, copyright 1982 Stay Straight Music; excerpt from Hallelujah, written by Leonard Cohen, copyright 1985 Sony/ATV Songs LLC. All rights for both titles administered by Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC., 424 Church Street, Suite 1200, Nashville, TN 37219. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

L IBRARY OF C ONGRESS C ATALOGING-IN -P UBLICATION D ATA

Brown, Bren.

Rising Strong / Bren Brown.

pages cm

Includes index.

ISBN 978-0-8129-9582-4 (hardback)ISBN 978-0-8129-9583-1 (eBook)

1. Self-actualization (Psychology) 2. Courage. I. Title.

BF637.S4B8118 2015

158dc23 2015010832

eBook ISBN9780812995831

randomhousebooks.com

spiegelandgrau.com

Book design by Liz Cosgrove, adapted for eBook

Cover design: Simon Walker

Cover art direction: Greg Mollica

v4.1_r1

a

Contents

ONE
The Physics of Vulnerability

TWO
Civilization Stops at the Waterline

THREE
Owning Our Stories

FOUR
The Reckoning

FIVE
The Rumble

SIX
Sewer Rats and Scofflaws

SEVEN
The Brave and Brokenhearted

EIGHT
Easy Mark

NINE
Composting Failure

TEN
You Got to Dance with Them That Brung You

ELEVEN
The Revolution

APPENDICES
Notes on Trauma and Complicated Grief

A Note on Research
AND STORYTELLING AS METHODOLOGY

In the 1990s, when I began studying social work, the profession was in the midst of a polarizing debate about the nature of knowledge and truth. Is wisdom derived from experience more or less valuable than data produced by controlled research? What research should we allow into our professional journals and what should we reject? It was a heated debate that often created considerable friction between professors.

As doctoral students, we were often forced to take sides. Our research professors trained us to choose evidence over experience, reason over faith, science over art, and data over story. Ironically, at the exact same time, our non-research professors were teaching us that social work scholars should be wary of false dichotomiesthose either youre this or youre that formulations. In fact, we learned that when faced with either-or dilemmas, the first question we should ask is, Who benefits by forcing people to choose?

If you applied the Who benefits? question to the debate in social work, the answer was clear: Traditional quantitative researchers benefited if the profession decided their work was the only path to truth. And tradition had the upper hand at my college, with little to no training in qualitative methods available and the only dissertation option quantitative. A single textbook covered qualitative research, and the book jacket was light pinkit was often referred to as the girls research book.

This debate became personal to me when I fell in love with qualitative researchgrounded theory research, to be specific. I responded by pursuing it anyway, finding a few faculty allies inside and outside my college. I chose as my methodologist Barney Glaser, from the University of California San Francisco Medical School, who, along with Anselm Strauss, is the founder of grounded theory.

I am still deeply affected by an editorial I read in the 1990s titled Many Ways of Knowing. It was written by Ann Hartman, the influential editor of one of our most prestigious journals at the time. In the editorial, Hartman wrote:

This editor takes the position that there are many truths and there are many ways of knowing. Each discovery contributes to our knowledge, and each way of knowing deepens our understanding and adds another dimension to our view of the world.For example, large-scale studies of trends in marriage today furnish helpful information about a rapidly changing social institution. But getting inside one marriage, as in Whos Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, richly displays the complexities of one marriage, leading us to new insights about the pain, the joys, the expectations, the disappointments, the intimacy, and the ultimate aloneness in relationships. Both the scientific and the artistic methods provide us with ways of knowing. And, in fact, as Clifford Geertzhas pointed out, innovative thinkers in many fields are blurring the genres, finding art in science and science in art and social theory in all human creation and activity.

I succumbed to fear and scarcity (the sense that my chosen research method wasnt enough) for the first couple of years of my career as a tenure-track professor and researcher. I felt like an outsider as a qualitative researcher, so for safety I stood as close as I could to the if you cant measure it, it doesnt exist crowd. That served both my political needs and my profound dislike of uncertainty. But I never got that editorial out of my head or my heart. And today I proudly call myself a researcher-storyteller because I believe the most useful knowledge about human behavior is based on peoples lived experiences. I am incredibly grateful to Ann Hartman for having the guts to take this position, to Paul Raffoul, the professor who handed me a copy of that article, and to Susan Robbins, who bravely led my dissertation committee.

As you read through this book, you will see that I dont believe faith and reason are natural enemies. I believe our human desire for certainty and our often-desperate need to be right have led to this false dichotomy. I dont trust a theologian who dismisses the beauty of science or a scientist who doesnt believe in the power of mystery.

Because of this belief, I now find knowledge and truth in a full range of sources. In this book, youll come across quotes from scholars and singer-songwriters. Ill quote research and movies. Ill share a letter from a mentor that helped me get a handle on what it means to get your heart broken and an editorial on nostalgia by a sociologist. I wont set up Crosby, Stills & Nash as academics, but I also wont diminish the ability of artists to capture what is true about the human spirit.

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