Enn Fajn - The Diary Of A Killer Cat

Some reviews of

The Diary of a Killer Cat

Its hard to beat this great book

Junior magazine

How a cat can train an owner is hilariously

told by Tuffy himself in this witty commentary

on the strange behaviour of humans

Julia Eccleshare, LoveReadingforKids

This had me laughing aloud.

Its an hilarious and easy read Books for Keeps

Anne Fine lives in County Durham. She has written numerous highly acclaimed and prize-winning books for children and adults.

The Tulip Touch won the Whitbread Childrens Book of the Year Award, Goggle-Eyes won the Guardian Childrens Fiction Award and the Carnegie Medal, Flour Babies won the Carnegie Medal and the Whitbread Childrens Book of the Year Award, and BillsNew Frock won a Nestl Smarties Book Prize.

Tuffys misdemeanours in The Diary of a Killer Cat and the sequels The Return of the Killer Cat, The Killer Cat Strikes Back, The Killer Cats Birthday Bash and The Killer Cats Christmas have delighted mischievous children all over the world.

Anne Fine was named Childrens Laureate in 2001 and was awarded an OBE in 2003.

annefine.co.uk

Books by Anne Fine

The Diary of a Killer Cat

The Return of the Killer Cat

The Killer Cat Strikes Back

The Killer Cats Birthday Bash

The Killer Cats Christmas

Jennifers Diary

Loudmouth Louis

Notso Hotso

Only a Show

The Same Old Story Every Year

Stranger Danger?

The Worst Child I Ever Had

For older readers

A Pack of Liars

Crummy Mummy and Me

Flour Babies

Goggle-Eyes

Madame Doubtfire

Step by Wicked Step

The Tulip Touch

The Diary of a KILLER CAT

ANNE FINE

Illustrated by

Steve Cox

PUFFIN

PUFFIN BOOKS

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3 (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

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Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi 110 017, India

Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)

Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

puffinbooks.com

First published by Hamish Hamilton Ltd 1994

Published in Puffin Books 1996

Published in Young Puffin Modern Classics 2004

This edition published 2011

Text copyright Anne Fine, 1994

Illustrations copyright Steve Cox, 1994

Introduction copyright Julia Eccleshare, 2004

All rights reserved

The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted

Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN: 978-0-141-97156-8

Introduction

by Julia Eccleshare

Puffin Modern Classics series editor

Can you imagine being right inside your cats head? That is exactly where you are in The Diary of a Killer Cat. Once youve read this book, youll be able to see everything from a new point of view. Think how horrible it is to be stuck in a cage waiting for the vet especially with a tasty-looking gerbil sitting nearby. Or to be labelled HANDLE WITH CARE. Or to be accused of a crime you havent even committed. Poor pussycat! But dont let the Killer Cat deceive you. Okay, so a cat can be soft and cuddly and furry, but inside every soft pussycat, theres a cunning little beast.

After Id read The Diary of a Killer Cat, I never saw a cat in quite the same way again. I now realize that a cat knows what you are thinking even if you havent said it. It knows what you hate and what you like about it and, mostly, it just doesnt care! Above all, dont ever think that you are in charge of a cat. For every plan you have, a cat will have one to outsmart you

Anne Fine stands up for cats in this hilarious story of humans, cats, gerbils, dogs and a somewhat unfortunate rabbit

Table of Contents

1: MONDAY

2: TUESDAY

3: WEDNESDAY

4: THURSDAY

5: FRIDAY

6: STILL FRIDAY

7: SATURDAY

1: MONDAY

Okay, okay. So hang me. I killed the bird. For pitys sake, Im a cat. Its practically my job to go creeping round the garden after sweet little eensy-weensy birdy-pies that can hardly fly from one hedge to another. So what am I supposed to do when one of the poor feathery little flutterballs just about throws itself into my mouth? I mean, it practically landed on my paws. It could have hurt me.

Okay, okay. So I biffed it. Is that any reason for Ellie to cry in my fur so hard I almost drown, and squeeze me so hard I almost choke?

Oh, Tuffy! she says, all sniffles and red eyes and piles of wet tissues. Oh, Tuffy. How could you do that?

How could I do that? Im a cat. How did I know there was going to be such a giant great fuss, with Ellies mother rushing off to fetch sheets of old newspaper, and Ellies father filling a bucket with soapy water?

Okay, okay. So maybe I shouldnt have dragged it in and left it on the carpet. And maybe the stains wont come out, ever.

So hang me.

2: TUESDAY

I quite enjoyed the little funeral. I dont think they really wanted me to come, but, after all, its just as much my garden as theirs. In fact, I spend a whole lot more time in it than they do. Im the only one in the family who uses it properly.

Not that theyre grateful. You ought to hear them.

That cat is ruining my flower beds. There are hardly any of the petunias left.

Id barely planted the lobelias before it was lying on top of them, squashing them flat.

I do wish it wouldnt dig holes in the anemones.

Moan, moan, moan, moan. I dont know why they bother to keep a cat, since all they ever seem to do is complain.

All except Ellie. She was too busy being soppy about the bird. She put it in a box, and packed it round with cotton wool, and dug a little hole, and then we all stood round it while she said a few words, wishing the bird luck in heaven.