Giudice Teresa - Turning the tables : from housewife to inmate and back again

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For Gia, Gabriella, Milania, and Audriana

I thank God every day for blessing me with each one of you. You are my everything.

I am so proud of you, especially for your strength and grace during the time I was away. Seeing how strong you all were and the love you showed mehelped me get through all of this.

Vi voglio tanto bene con tutto il mio cuore.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you all to infinity and beyond.

Love, Mommy

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain...

VIVIAN GREENE

N ames and identifying characteristics of all inmates and others I met at Danbury have been changed, and in some instances, those described are composites.

T o the world, my life seems like an open book. People think they know everything there is to know about me from what they have seen on TV and read in the tabloids.

But they dont. Not even close.

I want people to get to know the real me. I want the world to see who I really amnot what the media or The Real Housewives of New Jersey has made me out to be. Dont get me wrong. Im blessed to be a Real Housewife . It opened up so many new worlds for me and brought the most amazing, life-changing opportunities my way. Bravo, Sirens Media, and Andy Cohen have been so good to me, and for that, I will always be grateful. Andy has been so supportive of me through everything. He kept in touch with me in prison, to make sure I was OK. I love him for that.

But at the same time, I feel like I have been misunderstood. A lot of people have said they think Im mean. Look, Im not proud of everything Ive said and done in the public eye. But Im not a bitch. Im good-hearted, laid-back, and a caring mom, but like every other person out there, Im not perfect. My parents raised me to be a good person, which is something Ive strived to be my whole life. I have always been a hardworking student, a faithful employee, a good wife and motherand never broke the law in my life. I never meant to, anyway. As you read my story, you will come to know that my children, my husband, and my family are all that matter to me, not money or fame. As I have seen firsthand, fame can be a tremendous blessing and a horrendous curse.

I guess because Im a strong person and very confident, some people think that Im the nastiest person out there or whatever else they choose to project onto me. I think some people dont get the way I express myself. Sometimes the first thing I think of is what comes out of my mouthand its taken the wrong way, which evidently causes problems. Whenever that happens, I think, Uh-ohI didnt mean to say that that way... Thats something I need to work on.

My family and friends who know me totally get me. But with new people I meet, I find that once they get to know me, they come to see that Im very genuine, down-to-earth, fun, and loyal. If I love you, then I love you with all my heart. When one of my bunkies in prison really started to get to know me, she took me aside one day and said, Wow. Youre such a sweet person. Youre so different than the way they portray you on TV and nothing like what Ive read. I can see that you only care about Joe, your daughters, and your parents. (I do. I worry about my parents health all the time and I pray every day for my family...)

What you see with me is what you get... but the media doesnt always show the real me. They dont always give the full side of the story. I cant completely blame them, but I can open my heart to all of you, in my own words. I love life. I am blessed to be happy and healthy, and surrounded by amazing family and friends. I would never hurt my loved onesor anyonein any way. I dont have that in me. But Ive found out the hard way that there are other people out there who do want to hurt you. Who wish for bad things to happen to you. My problem is that I am too trusting and see the good in everyone, which has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years.

At the same time, though, being in the business Im in, you need to have thick skin. I definitely do and its something that helped me a lot in prison. Im sweet but not a pushover, and I stand my ground when I have to. Ive also learned to keep my guard up more. Its too bad, but its what I have to do now.

Before all this happened, I thought I had the perfect life. What I have now realized is that no one has a perfect life. Everyone carries a cross in this lifetime. A lot of my time on this earth has been a fairy tale. But as you may know, I have gone through some very tough times, too. Tough times Ive had to weather with the entire world watching, judging everything Ive done without knowing all the facts...

In 2014, I was sentenced to fifteen months at the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, Connecticut, for federal bankruptcy fraud and conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud. Going to prison was very difficult for my family and me. I missed my girls, my husband, my parents, my family, and my friends. My parents were heartbroken, but they have been there for me, just like Joe, my daughters, and the rest of my family and my friends. And, of course, my amazing fans. I couldnt have gotten through prison without the Trehuggers. You have no idea.

Since I went to prison, Ive learned a lot about lifeand so much about myself. Ive met the most incredibly good-hearted people. People with an inner strength I cannot believe. I made some really great friends in prison, who helped me survive since the day I got there.

My faith was one of the things that helped me the most in prison. Praying and getting closer to God helped me get through one of the most difficult times of my life. I took care of my body and mind by walking and running around the track as much as I could, taking exercise classes, doing yoga, eating clean (as clean as you can eat in prison!), going to church, reading inspirational booksand reflecting on how I could use this experience to change my life. I planned to come out of prison a stronger, better person. I wanted the world to see a new Teresa. A different Teresa. Well, actually, the Teresa I always was.

I had so much fun strolling down memory lane for this book, but it also brought back some painful moments. In life, we all go through bad things, but Ive found that revisiting tough times forces us to appreciate the good even more. I do. Thats for sure.

Thank you for reading my story. I want you to know that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you all! I couldnt have made it through this ordeal without each and every one of you... God bless you and tanti baci !

I had been dreading this moment for more than a year. But here I was, finally, on my way to prison.

After saying goodbye to the loves of my lifemy husband, Joe, and my four daughters, Gia, Gabriella, Milania, and Audrianamy lawyer, James J. Leonard, Jr., drove me to the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, Connecticut, from my house in New Jersey, so I could surrender myself to the Federal Bureau of Prisons. The prison would be my home for the next year of my life. No amount of preparation could have gotten me ready for this moment.