Kathy Koch PhD - Screens and teens : connecting with our kids in a wireless world

2015 by
KATHY KOCH

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ISBN: 978-0-8024-1269-0

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To my brother, Dave, his wife, Debbie, and their three children, Betsy, Katie, and Andy, who pursue life, purpose, and fun with and without screens and have mastered the art of conversation.
Our connections run deep and wide, and Im extremely grateful.

L ess than twenty-four hours after we dropped him off at college our son began asking to come home. This wasnt what he thought it would look like. It was too hard. There were topics being taught that he didnt want to learn. I want to come home, he texted every single day during the first week of school.

We listened, encouraged, spoke wisdom, and ultimately said, You need to stay at least one semester. This was so hard! There were times my husband and I wanted to cave in and when we questioned if we were doing the right thing.

After a week, Mark and I made a call to the dean of students. He thanked us for the phone call, reassured us they could help from their end, and encouraged us that our no was exactly what our son needed. Then he said these words: Im finding that this generation of kids does not know how to persevere. We talked about how todays teens are accustomed to quick wins in front of a video game screen. They fix problems with one click to cut and another click to paste. Thanks to the Internet, information can be found at young peoples fingertips without much effort to research, dig, and come to conclusions on their own. When fixes arent so quick and easy, their first impulse is to give up.

Our ever-changing technology has, without a doubt, made our lives easier in many ways. But technology has also made some aspects of parenting harder and is affecting the minds, bodies, and souls of our kids in ways we desperately need to understand.

Should we box up our computers and cellphones and return to encyclopedias and landlines? Thats not the answer. Technology will only move forward, and we have to move forward with it. We do, however, have to change the way we interact with our kids. We have to give them opportunities to persevere. We have to teach them how to think. We have to help fill the gaps technology is creating, believing wholeheartedly that parents can make a difference. Technology may be here to stay, but so are parents; both play a major role in our teens lives.

If you dont know where to start with tackling technology, Dr. Kathy Koch will give you the direction you need. At our Hearts at Home conferences, her workshops are standing room only. She has dedicated her life to understanding kids and helping their parents do the same. Screens and Teens will give you hopeand hope is the fuel that keeps parents going.

You can connect with your teens in a wireless world.

JILL SAVAGE

Mother of five

Founder and CEO of Hearts at Home

A downloadable video series (9 sessions corresponding to the 9 chapters of the book) is available at no charge for those who have purchased the book, Screens and Teens. Find this video series at ScreensAndTeens.com , use password RECONNECT.

M ost teens today have seen electric typewriters only in the movies (old movies or retro movies set in old times), and they may never have seen a manual typewriter. But Im old enough to remember my familys first typewriters, manual and electric. That big, heavy, gray-and-white piece of technology was a sleek and shiny gift. I loved the changes it brought! Fast typing, with just a light tap on the keys. Tapping a return key instead of lugging across a heavy carriage. Adjusting to that piece of technology was, oh, so worth it!

Weve come a long way, havent we? Now we carry tiny computers in our pockets and purses. We add and delete and access a world of information with just a click or two. The changesfrom electric typewriters to todays slim and efficient technological toolshave been continuous. Its the speed of changes that takes my breath away! Change happens now faster than it ever has before.

Is the speed of change influencing our kids? Could that be one of the reasons theyre quickly dissatisfied with doing things the same old way? Is this why they want to line up at a store at midnight when a new game, movie, or device hits the market? Is it why they insist we get them the latest and greatest phone or other device even though theirs works just fine?

Our world changes, almost daily, with the changes in technology. And thats innocent, right? It seems as innocent as leaving behind Wite-out to correct typing errors in favor of the laptops delete key! But are those changes having an impact on our childrens behavior and beliefsand on our own? Yes! In both negative and positive ways, technology with its rapid-fire advances is definitely shaping the personality and character and life path of young people.

Teens have always experienced peer pressure, but keeping up has reached intense levels of pressure for todays teens, who definitely feel a sense of urgency, as if theyre going to be left out unless they have the best, the newest, the fastest, and the easiest. Theres pressure to be the happiest, the most beautiful, the most talented. Do you hear any of these sentiments or see any of these attitudes in your home?