Elaine Viets - Accessory to Murder (Josie Marcus, Mystery Shopper, Book 3)

ACCESSORY TO MURDER

by Elaine Viets

" I cant believe anyone would pay a thousand dollars for a scarf, " Alyce Bohannon said.

" Excuse me, " Josie Marcus said, " but arent you the woman who spent a thousand bucks for kitchen knives? "

" Those werent kitchen knives, " Alyce said. " Those were carbon-steel blades from Williams-Sonoma. They were works of art. "

" And this scarf isnt? " Josie said. " Look at that color: Halley blue. Its three-dimensional. Feel it. Its Italian silk. The weight is perfect. It drapes beautifully. "

Josie loved Halley blue. It was deeper than sky blue and richer than the color made famous by Maxfield Par-rish. It was the blue of a bottomless lake. The color was magical with any skin tone from vanilla white to dark chocolate.

Josie held the scarf up to her face, reveling in its luxurious feel. Next to a Halley-blue scarf, her plain brown hair had glamorous red highlights and her brown eyes were deep and exotic. Her ordinary looks were her fortune, or at least her living. Josie was the ideal mystery shopper, able to melt into any mall. She couldnt wear a scarf that made her stand out.

She traced the swirling bird-and-bluebell design with a manicured finger. Like all good designs, it was simple yet sophisticated.

" Josie, quit fondling that scarf before security picks us up, " Alyce said. " Its pretty. But I could buy one almost as good at Target for thirty bucks. "

" I could buy a whole drawerful of knives there for the same price, " Josie said.

Alyce winced. " OK, so Im conventional. I like my art in a frame. "

Josie held the blue and white scarf against Alyces milk white skin. The fabulous scarf turned her eyes into sapphire smoke and her pale hair into platinum silk.

" When you wear something this beautiful, " Josie said,

" you are the frame for the art. "

" Honey, Im the whole exhibition. " Alyce looked down at her generous curves. " Im not built to be a clotheshorse, Josie. Im too practical to spend money on something that isnt useful. "

" Nothing in Pretty Things is useful, " Josie said.

" Thats the whole point of this boutique. I wish I could afford this. "

" You mean they dont give you a thousand bucks to spend here as a mystery shopper? "

" Not so loud, " Josie said. " Im supposed to be a secret shopper. "

" Were housewives, " Alyce said. " Were invisible.

Those skinny sales associates are too busy being hip to notice us. "

" Dont worry. Ill get them, " Josie said. " I have thirty dollars to spend here, and its not going to be easy to find something. "

" How about those gold earrings? " Alyce said.

" You have excellent taste. Theyre two hundred dollars, " Josie said. " I may be able to buy a scarf ring for the scarf I cant afford. Thats twenty-eight dollars. "

" You know, she lives on our street, " Alyce said.

" Who? " Josie said.

" Halley. Her house is trimmed in Halley blue. That color is a little loud for shutters. "

" Let me buy that scarf ring, and we can get out of here and talk, " Josie said.

Only one sales associate was free. SABER, her name tag said. She had dark red hair and an air of chic exhaus-tion. Saber ignored Josie and stared straight ahead.

Josie recognized her type. Saber was a Captive Prin-

cess. The Captive Princess knew the universe had made a terrible mistake. She wasnt a salesclerk. She was roy-alty, brought low. She did customers a favor by deigning to wait on them. They should be serving her. The Captive Princess took every opportunity to let the customers know they were inferior.

A lesser shopper would have begged, " Can anyone help me? "

Josie kept silent. She counted the minutes ticking off on her watch. One. Two. Three. At three minutes and fifty-two seconds, Saber finally said, " May I help you? "

" Ill take this, " Josie said.

Saber picked up the inexpensive scarf ring with two fingers, as if it were a cockroach. " Anything else? " Saber was nearly paralyzed with ennui.

" This is enough. " Josie smiled sweetly. She couldnt wait to write her report.

" You from New York? " Saber said.

" No, " Josie said.

" I figured you didnt buy that here, " she said with a nod toward Josies garage-sale Escada. " St. Louis is too Dutch and dumb. "

" Thats not fair, " Alyce burst out.

Josie was surprised. Alyce rarely spoke when she was mystery-shopping with Josie. But she was a fierce de-fender of St. Louis. She hated to admit her city had any flaws.

Saber stared at Alyces blue silk pantsuit. " How old is that? " She didnt bother to hide her contempt.

" I buy classic styles, " Alyce said. " Its five years old.

OK, six. "

" Old enough to start school, " Saber said. " Too old to wear. Thats why Halley is moving her business to New York. St. Louisans have no style. New Yorkers understand fashion. This cow town doesnt. "

Saber slouched into the back room and slammed the door.

" Thank you for shopping at Pretty Things, " Josie said to the air.

Alyce stood there, openmouthed. " Did you hear what that little snip said? "

" There goes her score for personal service, " Josie said.

" How can she say that about St. Louis? " Alyce said.

" Uh, I hate to agree with Saber, but nobody would call us a fashion capital. "

" Some of the richest women in the world live here, "

Alyce said.

" And buy their clothes in New York and Paris, " Josie said. " Where do your rich friends get their clothes?

Chicos, Ann Taylor, and Talbots? "

" Theres nothing wrong with those stores, " Alyce said.

" They give good value. "

" Absolutely, " Josie said. " But they arent cutting-edge. Find one high-style woman in this mall. "

" Right at the end of that counter. " Alyce was too polite to point, but she radiated well-bred triumph. Josie followed her gaze to a classic type, the lady who lunched.

The womans ash-blond hair was lacquered into impossible swirls. Her patrician nose was so heavily powdered, Josie wondered if she was hiding the telltale veins of a tippler. Some of those lunches were very wet.

" Thats a designer suit, isnt it? " Alyce said. " That lumpy pink, green, and yellow weave looks like oatmeal with sprinkles. Shes wearing it with a mustard blouse.

Those colors are so bizarre, she has to be rich. "

" Her suit is Chanel, " Josie said. " The bag is Kate Spade. "

" What about the scarf? " Alyce said.

" What scarf? " Josie said.

" She had a Halley-blue scarf in her hand a minute ago. She took it off the counter. "

" Alyce, there were three scarves on that counter, "

Josie said. " I looked at one and put it back. You say she had the other. Now there are two. I bet she took it. "

" Are you sure? "

" I think she stuffed it in her purse, " Josie said.

" Tell someone. Youre mystery-shopping this store. "

" Dont have to. Security is already on the alert. "

" Where? " Alyce said.

" See that woman pawing the evening shawls by the door? Her hair is too black to be a customer here. She does her own color. No high-style salon would let a woman over forty walk out with coal-black hair. It drains the color from her skin and makes it look yellow. Also, its too short to be flattering for her face. "

" Why not grow it longer? " Alyce asked.

" If its short, suspects cant grab it. Besides, her shoes are lace-ups. "

" So she likes comfortable shoes, " Alyce said. " Shes wearing a nice suit. "

" Its secondhand, like mine. The hems been let down.

Shes probably an ex-cop. Her shoes tie so she can chase suspects. Slip-ons would slip off when she ran. "

" Shes letting Ms. Chanel get away, " Alyce said. " The shoplifter is heading for the exit. "

" Security is playing it smart to avoid a false arrest, "