Jon Morris - The League of Regrettable Superheroes: Half-Baked Heroes From Comic Book History

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author would like to thank the Digital Comic Museum (digitalcomicmuseum.com) and Comic Book Plus (comicbookplus.com). Without their tireless archivists and exhaustive catalogs, the research for the majority of this book would have been impossible.

Thanks also to Jess Nevins for his invaluable Encyclopedia of Golden Age Superheroes , and additionally to the late Don Markstein for the always entertaining Toonopedia.com. Gratitude is also extended to the works of Les Daniels, Ron Goulart, and Gerard Jones.

Thanks to Hope Nicholson, associate producer of Lost Heroes and cofounder of Nelvana Comics, for her insight and feedback on Nelvana of the Northern Lights. Thanks to blogger Rob Kelly for material relating to Holo-Man.

Additional thanks to BillyWitchDoctor, NegroFrankenstein, NeoFishBoy, James W. Fry III, Wooly Rupert, and all the other regular commenters on my blog, Gone&Forgotten . When I couldnt think of anything dumb to say, you were there to pick up the slack. Youre heroes, every one of you.

And lastly, thanks to everyone at Quirk Books!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JON MORRIS is a cartoonist and graphic designer. Since the late 1990s, hes operated the blog Gone & Forgotten, an irreverent, in-depth, and occasionally rude look at the most unfortunate stories and characters that comic books have offered.

Im #711, and my place is back behind these walls!

Created by: George Brenner (who also created The Clockthe first masked hero in comics!)

Debuted in: Police Comics #1 (Quality Comics, August 1941)

Rap sheet: Perjury, Conspiracy, Poor Forethought, Lack of Planning

1941 by Quality Comics

OMETIMES, IT DOESNT PAY to be a nice guy. Attorney Daniel Dyce finds that out the hard way when he decides to do a favor for his good friend Jacob Horn, whose wife is about to give birth. It seems Horn wont be able to attend the delivery because of a little problem: hes about to begin serving a life sentence behind bars. The scheme the two men hatch is so unlikely that it belongs on the corniest of sitcoms: Dyce will confess to Horns crimes while Horn visits his wife in the hospital. After a few days, Horn will turn himself in and clear Dyces name. Youd think an attorney would have devised a better plan

Fate plays its hand and Horn crashes his car en route to the hospital. With his friend dead, no one can clear Dyce, who has no choice but to tunnel out of jail and adopt a crime-fighting identity, of course! Basing his costumed persona on his prison number (and not the famous convenience store), Dyce becomes 711, a caped and masked figure who torments criminals by night and returns to his prison cell by morning. His calling card: a mirrored business card with prison bars painted on it to show criminals their future!

From a crime-fighting perspective, 711s decision to remain in jail pays off in the form of prison gossip, allowing Dyce to eavesdrop on the schemes of his fellow inmates and their nefarious associates. On more than one occasion, the crooks who get busted by 711 end up in the same prison as Dyce. Apparently, this bonus gives the crime-fighter enough satisfaction to keep going back to the Big House.

For the most part, 711 puts the screws to common thugs, crooks, and gangsters. His ultimate enemy is a baddie who repeatedly refers to himself in the third person as Oscar JonesRacketeer! At least one of 711s foes is entertainingly bizarre: Brickbat, a bat-masked figure in a lime-green suit who kills by throwing exploding bricks (packed with deadly gas) at his victims.

The reason 711 hasnt been seen since his first series may be his ignoble method of cancellation: he was fatally shot during a fight with Oscar Jones (racketeer!). To add insult to injury, the only witness to the murder was the hero who would take over 711s feature slot in Police Comics , a psychic troubleshooter named Destiny.

AMAZING-MAN

No guns allowed in this little gathering!

Created by: Bill Everett

Debuted in: Amazing-Man Comics #5; numbering continued from the unrelated Motion Pictures Funnies Weekly (Centaur Publications, September 1939)

Great act of bravery: Wearing shorts and suspenders as a superhero costume

1939 by Centaur Publications

UPERMAN WAS SUPER , and Captain Marvel may have been a marvel, but only Amazing-Man was, well, amazing! Debuting in 1939, along with a slew of other imitators of the wildly popular Man of Steel, Amazing-Man set himself apart because he delivered on his name. On the cover of his very first appearance (which was, somehow, the fifth issue of the Amazing-Man comic), Amazing-Man is depicted killing a venomous snake with his bare teeth while his hands and legs are bound behind him. Amazing-Man was so busy juggling green Nazi gorillas and swatting jungle cats that it took him a year and a half before he got around to hefting a sedan above his head on the cover of his book, like all the other super-Johnnies-come-lately.

It helps that Amazing-Mans origin is so distinctly his own. Born John Aman, he spends twenty-five years in a mysterious lamasery and graduates via a ceremony to prove his ultra-manhood. Seven deadly challenges are offered by the Council of Seven. Aman repeats the snake-biting trick, plays human pincushion for a knife-throwing inquisitor (introduced as Lady Zina, the knife-thrower, which is a pretty specific job for a lamasery), and learns to supplement his tremendous strength and intelligence by transforming himself into a cloud of green mist.

Aided first by a daring girl reporter named Zona Henderson, and later by kid sidekick Tommy the Amazing Kid, Amazing-Man spent twenty-two issues matching wits with the Great Unknowna hooded figure who wielded terrific telepathic powers. He also took time out to rattle a few Nazis when the opportunity arose.

When the character entered the public domain, Amazing-Man received a second lease on lifeor, more accurately, four new leases. Malibu Comics added him to the lineup of their 1990s-era superteam title The Protectors ; DC Comics transformed him into the first African American member of its World War IIera megagroup, the All-Star Squadron; Dynamite has employed him in their Project Superpowers line; and Marvel has repurposed his given name of John Aman in adventures with Iron Fist and Captain America.

So, if the character turned out to be so popular, why didnt his original incarnation catch on? Sadly, Amazing-Man could fight everything but the competition. A crowded marketplace drove the publisher, Centaur, out of business, and Amazing-Man into obscurity.