Tionne Watkins - A Sick Life: TLC ’n Me: Stories from On and Off the Stage

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher.

Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2017 by Tionne Watkins

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

Photographs courtesy of the author

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.

ISBN 978-1-62336-860-9 hardcover

ISBN 978-1-63565-262-8 international paperback

ISBN 978-1-63565-212-3 signed hardcover

ISBN 978-1-62336-861-6 e-book

We inspire health, healing, happiness, and love in the world.

Starting with you.

RodaleWellness.com

RodaleBooks.com

I hope my words can be a reign of hope to anyone who needs them.
And to Ressie, Donnie, Grandma,
and every fallen angel from any disease!

I believe everything in life happens for a reason. You are meant to be wherever you end up and whoever you become. I was meant to be Tionne T-Boz Watkins, a singer, dancer, philanthropist, creator, writer, daughter, mother, sister, and friend. Ive spent much of my life in TLC, the worlds biggest-selling American girl group of all time. I hear our songs, like Waterfalls and Creep, playing all the time. Theyre songs that people refer to as timeless and iconic, which is an amazing feeling. Together with Rozonda Chilli Thomas and Lisa Left Eye Lopes, I created a legacy with TLC. We broke new ground and took down old barriers. We sold millions of albums and inspired millions of fans.

TLC has been an essential aspect of my life, but its only one part of it. Behind the scenes Ive experienced so much. Ive dealt with a lifelong illness, sickle cell disease, and Ive had dozens of health scares over the years. I gave birth to my daughter, Chase, against medical odds, and recently adopted my son named Chance. Both of them came into my life at very different times and they both felt like miracleswhich youll hear all about later. Im raising them as a single mother, just like my own mom. Ive suffered tragedies and encountered the death of loved ones. Ive become a strong, independent woman who refuses to back down.

Over the years, Ive learned that theres an upside to everything. You might think your story is the worst and that no one can relate, but theres always someone whos going through the same thing as youif not worse. My story belongs to me, but I hope it can help those who read it. I hope that my ups and downs and my struggles will make you feel like youre not alone. If I can survive, I know others can, too.

I feel like all my hardships and all my pain have happened for a reason, whatever that reason is. Living with a scary disease has made me a fighter. Its taught me to push forward and look for the positive things in life. Maybe Ive gone through all of this and learned these lessons so I could share them and make a difference. Maybe, as you read this, my story can help you.

When you perform, theres something that happens right before you go onstage. Its almost magical, like becoming an entirely other person. Before you step out in front of the crowd, you transform into someone else. So, for much of my life, Ive been two people. I have been myself, Tionne Watkins, a girl from Atlanta by way of Des Moines, with big dreams and a lifelong illness Ive refused to let define me.

But Ive also been T-Boz, one third of TLC, the worlds biggest girl group. Ive had dual stories, but theyve both been part of the same life. I have a routine I do when I transform into T-Boz. Its always the same. I look down, rock, pace the floor, and then get really quiet and tune everything out. When I look up, Im T-Boz. Its an important centering process because music and dance are where I best express myself. Its where my ideas about the world and society and myself can be brought together to create something bigger. For me, music is everythingit makes you feel good, through the positive experiences and the negative ones, and TLCs tracks have always been songs everyone can relate to in some way.

When TLC formed in 1990, we had no idea our music would become so massive. Our second album, CrazySexy-Cool, is one of only a few diamond-certified albums ever in the US, selling over 10 million copies, and it was included on Rolling Stones list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. We won five Grammys, out of 17 total nominations, and we earned four No. 1 singles and ten Top 10 singles. We saw the sort of musical, commercial, and critical success that is rare for artists now, and I still marvel at how that was possible.

During those decades, as TLC formed and grew and exploded into the world, I stayed T-Boz as much as possible when I was in the public eye. I never fully drew back the curtain or revealed what happened behind the scenes, especially on TV or in magazine interviews. I didnt want the press to know everything or to uncover too much of my personal life. Ive always been genuine and open with our fans, of course, but I needed to keep some things to myself.

If you see who I am on both sides of the coin, both as Tionne and as T-Boz, youll understand who I am and how I became a strong, independent woman who refuses to believe anything is impossible. Although T-Boz is an important part of me, Im clear that I was born Tionne and Ill die Tionne. T-Boz is someone I created, like an alter ego, and I know how to leave her onstage when I go homeunlike some celebs.

On April 26, 1970, I was born Tionne Tenese Watkins to James and Gayle Watkins in Des Moines, Iowa. I came into the world with sickle cell disease, a genetic blood disorder, although my parents didnt know exactly what it was until later. I was sick from the moment I arrived, crying from pain and unable to voice what was ailing me. My dad left me and my mama when I was 3. He was a singer and a trumpet player, and wanted to pursue his musical career in Florida, so my parents separated. I always wanted my fathers love and attention, and for those first 3 years we were really close. He took me to Smittys Donuts and his nickname for me was Little Vietnam because I used to run around like I was crazy. Once I got into his bands beer, drank some of it out of the can, ran around in circles, and then passed out. I always thought my dad was in Earth, Wind & Fire because his band would play in our basement and sing Keep Your Head to the Sky.