Green - The road to success is paved with failure: hundreds of famous people who triumphed over inauspicious beginnings, crushing rejections, humiliating defeats, and other speed bumps along lifes highway

Copyright 2001 by Joey Green

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

First eBook Edition: April 2001

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroup.com

For information on Time Warner Trade Publishings online publishing program, visit www.ipublish.com.

The Hachette Book Group Publishing name and logo is a trademark of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

ISBN: 978-0-75952-455-2

Other Books by Joey Green

Hellbent on Insanity

The Unofficial Gilligans Island Handbook

The Get Smart Handbook

The Partridge Family Album

Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose

Hi Bob!

Selling Out: If Famous Authors Wrote Advertising

Paint Your House with Powdered Milk

Wash Your Hair with Whipped Cream

The Bubble Wrap Book

Joey Greens Encyclopedia

The Warning Label Book

The Zen of Oz: Ten Spiritual Lessons from Over the Rainbow

Monica Speaks

The Official Slinky Book

You Know Youve Reached Middle Age If

The Mad Scientist Handbook

Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz

For Ashley and Julia, who never fail to amaze me

If at first you dont succeed, welcome to the club. Youll be delighted to learn that youre in excellent company. Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, John F. Kennedy, the Beatles, Thomas Edison, Madonna, Benjamin Franklinthey all had major failures when they started out.

It all goes to show that failure is simply a minor stumbling block on the road to success. Of course, you might not necessarily be on the right roadbut you can always get off at the next exit and ask for directions. Sure, failure can make you bury your head under the covers, sleep till noon, and then lounge around your mobile home in a smelly old bathrobe, taking swigs from a bottle of Southern Comfort to wash down a box of day-old powdered jelly donuts. But failure also builds character, helps you hone your skills, tests your determination, fortifies you with eight essential vitamins, and gives you the inner strength and courage to go back out there and fall flat on your face all over again.

Take pride in your failuresbecause you cant possibly succeed unless you have the courage to fail. When Thomas Edisons experiments with a storage battery failed to produce any positive results, the inventor refused to concede defeat. Ive just found 10,000 ways that wont work.

Anyone whos anybody has failed, and knowing that can be encouraging and uplifting. And so, as a public service, here are the famous successes who were once failures, losers, drop-outs, flunkies, suckers, saps, schlemiels, and schlemazels. They all looked failure square in the face and spit in its eye. You can too. Just remember, everyone falls down. Youre not a failure until you dont get back up.

Marilyn Monroe was dropped in 1947 by Twentieth Century-Fox after one year under contract because production chief Darryl Zanuck thought she was unattractive.

Marilyn Monroe became a Hollywood sex goddess, starring in All About Eve, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Seven Year Itch, Some Like It Hot, and The Misfits.

Dr. Seusss first book, And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, was rejected by twenty-seven publishing houses, and Seuss considered burning the manuscript.

Dr. Seuss became the author of more than forty best-selling childrens books, including The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton the Elephant, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins.

Cary Grant was called to the stage during an assembly in 1918 and publicly expelled from Fairfield Secondary School for sneaking into the girls lavatory.

Cary Grant became a leading man in movies, starring in more than seventy films, most notably Topper, Bringing Up Baby, Gunga Din, The Philadelphia Story, and North by Northwest.

Barbra Streisand made her stage debut at age nineteen in 1961 in the off-Broadway revue Another Evening with Harry Stoones. The show opened and closed in a single night.

Barbra Streisand became the top-selling female recording artist in the world and starred in the films Funny Girl, Hello Dolly!, The Way We Were, A Star Is Born, and Yentl.

Peter Benchley was fired as a speech writer for Richard Nixon.

Peter Benchley went on to write the best-selling novel Jaws, selling the movie rights before the book was even published.

Diana Spencer worked as a kindergarten teachers aide.

Lady Diana Spencer became the Princess of Wales when she married Prince Charles in 1981.

Frank Sinatra was expelled from high school after just forty-seven days for his rowdy behavior.

Frank Sinatra became a superstar as an actor and singer, one of the wealthiest men in show business, and leader of the Rat Pack. He starred in the films From Here to Eternity, Guys and Dolls, The Manchurian Candidate, and Von Ryans Express.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., serving in the U.S. Army during World War II, was captured by the Germans and imprisoned in Dresden, Germany.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., wrote about that experience in his novel Slaughterhouse-Five, which became a best-seller and was made into a hit movie. Vonneguts other novels include Cats Cradle, Breakfast of Champions, and Jailbird.

Tom Cruise auditioned for a role on the television version of Fame, but the casting director told him he wasnt pretty enough.

Tom Cruise went on to become the heartthrob of millions of women as the star of the films Risky Business, Top Gun, Rain Man, A Few Good Men, and Jerry McGuire.

Ulysses S. Grant failed as a farmer, a real estate agent, a U.S. Customs official, and a store clerk.

Ulysses S. Grant commanded the Union armies during the Civil War and was elected 18th president of the United States in 1868.

Ryan ONeal spent fifty-one days in jail as a teenager for assault and battery during a New Years Eve party.