Dick Van Dyke - My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business: A Memoir

Copyright 2011 by Point Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Crown Archetype,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com

Crown Archetype with colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van Dyke, Dick.

My lucky life in and out of show business: a memoir / Dick Van Dyke.

1. Van Dyke, Dick. 2. Television actors and actressesUnited StatesBiography. 3. ComediansUnited statesBiography. I. Title.
PN2287.V335A3 2011
791.45028092dc22
[B] 2010043698

eISBN: 978-0-307-59226-2

TITLE PAGE PHOTOGRAPH: AP PHOTO/JERRY MOSEY
JACKET DESIGN BY JENNIFER OCONNOR
JACKET PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR
Additional .

v3.1

To my kids

C HRIS , B ARRY , S TACY, AND C ARRIE

who taught me all I know about love

S TAN:
You remember how dumb I used to be?

O LIVER:
Yeah?

S TAN:
Well, Im better now.

Laurel and Hardy(Block-Heads, 1938)

If Im known for giving people decent entertainment and raising good kids, thats all right.
Ill have lived a good one.

Me

I n the last fifty years, I have oft been asked what I consider to be my most rewarding theatrical experience, and without hesitation and with total honesty, I say, The Dick Van Dyke Show!

Since this is a foreword to Dick Van Dykes autobiography, I will not dwell on any of the other talented and brilliant members of that show but on the man whose name inspired its title. After watching Dick deliver scripted lines that made them seem cleverer, more elegant, and funnier than I had imagined them to be, I looked for ways to challenge his ability.

There is one incident that Dick did not write about in this book that I think bears inclusion. It occurred during the rehearsal of Gesuntheit, Darling, a second-season episode Id written during which Rob is afflicted with a sneezing fit. Every time he hugs or kisses or comes near his son, Ritchie, or his wife, Laura, he goes into a paroxysm of assorted sneezes that vary in length and volume and comical sounds. Rob, naturally, concludes that he is allergic to his family. As I watched Dick deliver his variety pack of authentic sneezes, I was in awe of his ability to find that many different ways to sneeze while still delivering his lines. Everyone there on the setthe cast and crew and myselfwho watched his awesome symphony of sneezes was doubled over with laughter. It was when he finished his performance that I thought, This man can do anything!, and to prove it to myself and to the assembly, I asked if he was up to a challenge. Without knowing what I was going to ask, Dick, of course, said yes and I challenged him to do the following:

Dick, just for fun, I said, in this order, can you sneeze, cough, belch, hiccup, yawn, and pass gas all while trying to stifle the giggles?

No sooner were the words out of my mouth than Dick delivered the entire orderand at a rapid-fire pace!

Darn, as I write this, I wonder if he can still do the above and add the itchy ear, buzzing bee, and cinder in his eye that just popped into my mind.

Ill bet Dick canand with no apparent effort, for there is no end to that mans kinesthetic abilities. He proved that in 158 episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show, and he continues to do so today.

Viva Van Dyke!

A while ago, but not so long that I can put this story anyplace else and have it make as much sense, my brother, Jerry, had a problem with his kidneys and needed a transplant. While he was on the waiting list, I changed my will to say that he could have mine if I happened to die before he received one. I thought that was pretty considerate, big brotherly, and reflective of the type of person I try to be, and so did he.

In fact, Jerry called me every single day. What a guy, right? Then, as soon as I answered the phone, he said, Oh, youre still alive.

Yesand alive I remain. While I have reached that point in life where, like it or not, I am circling the drain, I am happy to report that I am still with all my wits and faculties, still working, still getting calls, and counting my blessings for all of the above. As such, it seems like a good time to finally jot down some of my lifes more important stories, and some of the lesser ones, too.

I have endeavored to write the kind of book I think people want from me. Its also the kind of book that I want from me. It covers my sixty-plus years in show business, including my starring roles in The Dick Van Dyke Show and Mary Poppins, two projects that have withstood the test of time and will, I am proud to say, likely go on entertaining future generations. I also write about my family, my personal struggles, and a few lessons I may have learned.

As you will discover in the following pages, I never planned any of it. The only career strategy I had was in the early days when my goal was simply to feed my family and keep a roof over their heads. I went where the jobs were, anywhere the wind blew, as I like to say, and most of the time things worked out.

I attribute a lot of it to luckto being the right person in the right place at the right time.

But a word of warning about this book: If you are looking for dirt, stop reading now. I have had some tough times and battled a few demons, but there is nothing salacious here. I may be a Hollywood anachronism in that way (and possibly in a few other ways). I have tried to write an honest story, with lightness, insight, hope, and some laughs. I have also woven in bits of wisdom, opinion, and lessons learned, like this, my favorite: You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you cant spread peanut butter on the jelly.

Michelle always liked that one. It made her laugh.

What does that mean? she would ask.

I dont know, I would say. But it makes a whole lot of sense.

Michelle Triola was my beloved companion of thirty-five years. I always expected her to be looking over my shoulder if and when I wrote this book, reminding me of stories that I might have forgotten. Sadly, she succumbed to cancer shortly after I started this memoir. But in her battle, as in every other aspect of her life, she reminded me of the qualities that go into living a good, full, and meaningful life. Even though she hasnt been here with me, I have still employed her in this effort as my muse, asking many times throughout the process, Honey, what do you think of this one?

And it was with her rich, hearty laugh in mind that I decided to start this book with the one true scandal in my life.