Rogers Rosemary - Saints preserve us!: everything you need to know about every saint youll ever need

About the Authors

R OSEMARY R OGERS lives in Manhattan under the constant protection of Saint Anthony, Saint Bridget, and Saint John-Baptist-Marie Vianney. She has never written a gothic romance novel. She has, however, lived one.

S EAN K ELLY left teaching to edit the National Lampoon. Going from bad to worse, he now writes books (e.g., Boom Baby Moon) and television shows (e.g., Shining Time Station). He lives in Brooklyn, New York, a loyal Canadian exile and practicing ex-Catholic.

Copyright 1993 by Sean Kelly and Rosemary Rogers
All rights reserved under International Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the United States by Random House, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and simultaneously in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kelly, Sean.

Saints preserve us! : everything you need to know about every saint youll ever need / Sean Kelly and Rosemary Rogers.

p. cm.

eISBN: 978-0-307-78026-3

1. Christian patron saintsBiographyDictionaries. I. Rogers,

Rosemary. II. Title.

BX4656 5.K45 1993

282.0922dc20

[B] 93-17367

www.atrandom.com

v3.1

To the Greater Glory of God

Rory Marchant-Kelly
and
Nell Rogers Michlin

N O, YOU DONT HAVE TO be a Catholicor even Christianto have Patron Saints. They are like enzymes, gravity, or the CIAinvisible, yes, but eternally present, and hard at work on your behalf, whether or not you know itor like it. A Holy Host of Heavenly Helpers is at this very moment looking out for you and yours. So take a moment to read about them. You may even end up learning a thing or two about yourself.

Your original Patron Saint is determined, like your astrological sign, by accident of birth. Each and every day of the calendar year is the feast day of severaloften manySaints. (A Saints designated feast day is almost always the day he or she died, preferably in some unspeakably horrible way, but smiling, and went straight to Heaven.) New Saints are constantly being canonized and old ones deleted, but every Saint who is now or has ever been honored on your birthday has a particular and perpetual interest in your personal welfare.

By Church Law, every child at baptism is christened, that is, given a Saints name, a Christian name or what we now call a first or given name. This practice long inspired the infants of Christendom to follow the virtuous example of the Saints as they grew up, and it assured at least one Saints lifelong protection of each new member of the Faith. Even today, unless you were tagged La Toya or Skip, chances are there is someone in Heaven who shares your name, or a variant of it, and by virtue of this, he or she is another of your Patrons. (See for a list of todays most popular given names and the feast day of their Name Saints.)

There are Patron Saints who watch over you simply because you areas all of us proudly or otherwise areethnic. The racial or national origin of your ancestors entitles you to the Supernatural Protection of your homelands designated Patron.

As does your job. Whatever your occupation or professionhousewife, astronaut, student, hairdresser, arms dealer, beggar, or beekeeperthere is an official, Vatican-approved (or unofficial, but tradition-sanctioned) Patron Saint assigned to it.

Almost every physical illness has a Patron Saintsomeone who, while on earth, suffered from it, was miraculously cured of it, or died from it (smiling, of course). There are also Saints specializing in every human dilemma, from lost keys to lonely hearts to real estate. Youll find Saints associated with everything from recreational activities to personal crises, from environmental concerns to the family pet.

This book is organized into three sections. The first and most edifying is the alphabetical, biographical list of the Saints themselves. When looking up your original Patron Saint you may be surprised at how similar his, or her, virtuous characternot to mention thrilling life storyis to your own.

is a calendar of Saints assigned to each day of the year. Look up your birthday to locate your original Patron Saint. Not all Saints are Patrons. We have been unable to establish Vatican-confirmed or tradition-sanctioned responsibilities for the Holy Souls commemorated on precisely fifty-two calendar days. We have nevertheless included biographies of these as yet clientless (so to speak) Saints. Feel free to implore their powerful intercession in any good cause.

is a group of lists based on ecology, ethnicity, illness, life-style, occupation, personal problems, recreational activity, and much more. Here you may discover the entire Pantheon (so to speak) of Saints who have a particular interest in your well-being.

For the most part, this book consists of unblushing hagiographythe Lives of the Saints. The editors have consulted no end of ancient tomes and pious pamphlets for the facts, as well as ransacking their respective parochial school memories for titillating embellishments. Not all the details of the lives of these Saintsbeautiful blonde Italian first-century Virgin Martyrs, astonishingly self-abusive desert anchorites, levitating medieval monks, courageous Crusaders, meek miracle workers, hammers of heretics, visionary spinsters, and learned doctorscan be verified. Some of the details might not be strictly historical, or even believable. But isnt that where faith comes in? (And isnt it likely that to the folks who first told and heard these tales, they were no more realisticand no lessthan our own formulaic, moralistic, happy-ending television dramas are to us today?)

But we havent made anything up. So help us, Saint Christina the Astonishing.

AbdonJuly 30

PATRON OF BARREL MAKERS

He was a Persian cooper, or barrel maker, who, together with his friend Saint Sennen, testified in the year 250 or so his faith in Christ by spitting publicly on pagan idols. They were thrown to the lions and tigers and bears, but the savage creatures declined to harm them, whereupon gladiators hacked them to bitsbut the more their bodies were mangled with wounds, the more were their souls made beautiful by Divine grace.

AcaciusJune 22

PATRON INVOKED AGAINST HEADACHES

This utterly fictitious Roman officer was one of 10,000 utterly fictitious soldiers who, after their simultaneous and utterly fictitious conversion en masse to Christianity, were all crucified on the slopes of Mount Ararat in Armenia (which actually exists). Their example of military valor was a particular source of spiritual strength to the Crusaders, but their heavenly help in all medical and spiritual emergencies is still depended upon. Because Acacius was crowned with thorns, he is especially important to those suffering from headache. His crown, and many other relics, are venerated in Cologne, Germany, and Prague, Czechoslovakia.