Lady Colin Campbell - Meghan and Harry: The Real Story

On May 19th 2018, when Meghan Markle stepped out of the antique Rolls Royce conveying her and her mother Doria Ragland from the former Astor stately home Cliveden to St. Georges Chapel, Windsor, where she was due to be married at 12 noon, she was a veritable vision of loveliness. At that moment, one of the biggest names of the age was born.

As the actress ascended the steps of St. Georges Chapel, its interior and exterior gorgeously decorated in the most lavish and tasteful spring flowers, she was a picture of demure and fetching modesty, stylish elegance, transparent joyousness, and radiant beauty. The simplicity of her white silk wedding dress, designed by Clare Waight Keller of Givenchy, with its bateau neckline, three-quarter length sleeves, and stark, unadorned but stunningly simple bodice and skirt, coupled with the extravagant veil, five metres long and three metres wide, heavily embroidered with two of her favourite flowers (wintersweet and California poppy, as well as the fifty three native flowers of the various Commonwealth countries, and symbolic crops of wheat, and a piece of the blue dress that the bride had worn on her first date with the groom), gave out a powerful message.

All bridal gowns make statements. Diana, Princess of Wales, according to her friend Carolyn Pride, used hers to announce to the world, Here I am. Take notice. Im not a bit shy and intend everyone to know who I am. Catherine Middletons stated, I am stylish, athletic, and traditional. I aim to please, and I relish my femininity. I possess exquisite but conservative taste, with just a hint of daring beneath the surface. Meghans not only conveyed that she loved clothes, was a feminine woman despite her avowed feminism, and something of an impact specialist where presentation is concerned, but also that she was a thoughtful, considered, deliberate and aware individual who would use traditions as and when they suited her, but was prepared to jettison them when they did not. She struck the absolutely right note for someone who was making her debut into the worlds leading royal family, letting the public know that her virtues were sterling and her performance would be polished.

Beneath the message, however, there was controversy. The Queen was said to be surprised that her soon-to-be granddaughter-in-law, already married and divorced once, had chosen virginal white in defiance of all accepted custom in royal and aristocratic circles, where a nod in the direction of reality dictated that no colour lighter than cream should be worn. But Meghan was starting out as she intended to continue. Royal and aristocratic traditions were of scant importance to someone whose self-belief was so rock solid that her father-in-law-to-be, who liked her, had already affectionately nicknamed her Tungsten.

The colour of her dress was not the only surprise Meghan delivered on her wedding day. Traditionally, after the couple signs the register and rejoins the congregation, the bride curtsies to the Queen and the groom bows. It has always been done and it was expected by all that it would be done on the 19th May 2018. Princess Anne did it at her two weddings. Diana did it at hers. So too did Princess Alexandra, the Countess of Wessex, the Duchesses of York, Kent and Cambridge. However, as Meghan rejoined the congregation and set about walking down the aisle with a beaming Prince Harry by her side, she omitted to curtsy when she passed the Queen. This caused consternation throughout the assembled company at St. Georges Chapel, one of whom told me, No one could believe it. She walked out, sailed down the aisle, with not so much as the merest bob in the direction of Her Majesty. The Queen is not on record as having made a comment or a complaint, but she will have noticed. Everyone did.

Like many of the people present, I put Meghans omission down to nervousness and forgetfulness. It really is easy for people who are not used to royal ways to forget each and every dance step in the choreography of royal life, but not everyone took so benevolent a view, especially as the run-up to the wedding had been fraught with scenes, tantrums and demands, most of which were carefully concealed from the public, although by the time of the wedding they were well known in Court circles.

Meghan is wonderfully self-possessed. She has supreme self-belief. She knows what she wants and she sets about achieving it by brooking no opposition. She is astonishingly direct in a way only Americans of a certain background who have made successes of their lives can be. She does not shy away from making demands but expects those who are there to assist her to bring her desires to fruition. Harry adores her forthrightness and strength of character. He admires the fact that she allows no one to prevail when she sets her mind to a task. In Court circles, however, where people dance around issues and no one makes a demand much less asks a direct question or even makes a straightforward suggestion, Meghan was unwittingly making waves. This was laying the ground for the misunderstandings and bad feelings that would soon characterise relations between the couple and many of the people close to them.

With the wisdom of hindsight, it is obvious that Harry should have nipped things in the bud before they degenerated further by pointing out to Meghan that she needed to adopt a more British approach. He should have explained that what works in the film industry in Hollywood goes down like a lead balloon in Britain. People would not admire her for her ballsiness but begin to resent her for what he and she might admire as forthrightness but they would deplore as being difficult, demanding and brash.

Harry, however, handled this dichotomy in the worst possible way. Up to then, he had enjoyed a reputation for affability even if he was also known to be hot-headed and so emotional that he often took things personally when a degree of impersonality would have been the more justified reaction. This more emotional side of his character now came to the forefront in the most unfortunate fashion. He started throwing his weight around, playing the Alpha male protecting his little woman as he backed Meghan up even when he must have known that the more positive response would have been to have a quiet word with her instead of endlessly repeating the mantra, What Meghan wants, Meghan gets. In doing so, he not only allowed her to continue getting peoples backs up quite unnecessarily and more than likely unwittingly too, but also antagonised those who had previously had a high opinion of him. In reality, he was adding fuel to the fire when he could easily have doused the flames with one part knowledge and a second part wisdom.

A case in point was the fuss Harry and Meghan made over the emerald and diamond kokoshnik Princess Eugenie had chosen for her wedding. Harry will have known the score. The date of his cousins marriage had had to be pushed back to allow him to be married first because he took precedence over her. It would be unfair to deprive Eugenie of the tiara she had chosen. This had once belonged to Grand Duchess Xenia of Russia, Tsar Nicholas IIs elder sister. It had been sold to the Royal Family when the grand duchess was given refuge in England following the Russian Revolution and the execution of her brother and many other members of her family at the hands of the Bolsheviks. The Queen had promised Eugenie the use of it. There the matter should have rested, and would have, had Meghan not decided that she wanted to wear Grand Duchess Xenias kokoshnik at her wedding, and Harry, so eager to fulfill her every wish, neglected to point out that she couldnt be lent something that his cousin had already been promised.