Susan Krieger - Come, Let Me Guide You

THE JOURNEY THAT BEGAN when I first came home with Teela has taken me through loss of vision, deaths of dear ones, and an increased intimacy with my partner; it has taken me through playful times on grassy fields as I happily tossed a Frisbee to Teela; and it has made me feel more welcome in the world than I ever was beforebecause people now greeted me with the pleasure of also meeting my dog.

I want to thank the staff of Guide Dogs for the Blind for breeding, training, and nurturing Teela and for their support of both of us as a pair. I am indebted to Teelas puppy raisersBetsy, Galen, Emily, and Spencer McCraywho cared for and socialized this lively, loving dog during her first sixteen months. Jim Power, our Guide Dogs field representative, visited Teela and me each year after our graduation to check on our well-being, providing expert instruction and support. When the time came for Teela to retire, Jim trained me with a second guide dog, Fresco, easing the transition. I am grateful to Frescos puppy raisersPatty, Mike, and Klamath Henrywho gave him such a good start in life.

Most of all, I am indebted to Estelle Freedman, my intimate partner, who has guided me often when I have lost a sense of direction. For over three decades, Estelle has been a joy and an inspiration for me who has helped make all else possible. She improved each draft of Come, Let Me Guide You, knowing, more than anyone else, the importance of my conveying an inner sense of reality and the nuances of the life I have shared with Teela. In this book, I refer to Estelle as Hannah to indicate that this is but my version of our shared experience.

My second closest reader of these stories has been Paola Gianturco, who encouraged the intimacy of my writing and provided invaluable editorial advice. To the extent that Come, Let Me Guide You is clear, expressive of feeling, and conveys a sense of inner freedom, it is because, as I wrote it, I often was guided by the thought, I think Paola will like this. Everyone should have such a superb muse.

During the six years while I was writing this book, treasured friends and colleagues gave me helpful input on specific chapters and the organization of the whole. I would like especially to thank: Susan Cahn, Zandra Contaxis, Lynn Crawford, Carmen de Monteflores, Hal Kahn, and Ilene Levitt. Angelica Bammer and Ruth-Ellen Boetcher Joeres helped shape The Art of the Intimate Narrative when it was originally prepared as an outgrowth of a conference on How We Write: Scholarly Writing and the Power of Form. Martin Krieger generously offered encouragement and contributed the chapter title A New Pair of Eyes. I thank my sister, Kathe Morse, both for her insights on chapters and for helping me with the challenging task of representing our mother in My Mothers Bracelet. Susan Christopher closely read the entire manuscript, polishing my prose, clarifying where needed, and suggesting improvements to the flow of the whole. I thank her for her keen editorial eye, her good sense, and her ability to suggest changes in keeping with my poetic style.

At Purdue University Press, Director Charles Watkinson and Series Editor Alan Beck were graciously receptive to the idea of this book and then helpfully encouraging of my efforts both to tell a specific story of my life with Teela and to make a broader contribution. I thank Katherine Purple for her generosity, her sensitive copyediting, and her tasteful book design; Bryan Shaffer for production and marketing and for the beautiful cover design, done in collaboration with Heidi Branham; and Rebecca Corbin for valuable administrative assistance. Shelley Fisher Fishkin and Esther Rothblum critically reviewed the manuscript, providing insightful comments and suggestions.

Because Come, Let Me Guide You draws on experiences I have shared with others, I wish to thank all those who have made the moments I describe here especially meaningful for me. They may appear in my stories under pseudonyms or anonymously, but they have supported my explorations and have figured more largely in my inner life than a brief mention might suggest. I thank the students in my Women and Disabilities seminar at Stanford University during 20022014 for contributing to my learning about disabilities and for welcoming Teela into our classroom. I am particularly grateful to Jessi Aaron, Audrey Dufrechou, Maja Falcon, Julia Feinberg, Rasha Glenn, Amelia Herrera, Shayla Parker, and Tania Tran.

I thank Phoebe Wood for directing me to the San Pedro Cemetery the year my mother died, where I found the grave of another beloved mother, Francisca Saavedra, and a way to help deal with my loss. I am grateful to my uncle, Herbert Lewis, for his memories of my mother, and to my sister and her familyKathe, Rich, Rachel, Julia, and Beth Morsewith whom I shared the experience of my mothers last days and the honoring of her memory. I thank my mother, Rhoda Cahn, in memoriam, for the love of life she passed on to me and for being smart, caring, and all-knowing. I continue to be indebted to Carolyn Hallowell for eighteen years of constancy and for being with me still, her legacy now carried on by two beautiful golden guide dogs.

Louise Sholes wrote the original poem from which this book gains its title. I was deeply moved when I heard it read aloud at Teelas Guide Dogs for the Blind graduation ceremony in October 2003, and it has been an inspiration for me ever since. I also thank Klamath Henry for her moving words read at Frescos Guide Dogs graduation in October 2013, and quoted in the books closing chapter. I am indebted, of course, to Teela and to Fresco, who have helped me learn to trust, moved me through the world with speed and ease, and enabled me to feel less alone.

Estelle Freedman has been with me through all the experiences described in this book. As I follow Teela through these stories, holding tightly to the harness handle, Estelle is always by my sidewatching out for us, protecting us, leading at times, following at others, urging me forward, making sure no obstacle ahead is insurmountable. She has welcomed two guide dogs into our life with the same generosity as she has long welcomed me into hers. I thank her with all my heart.