Thank you for buying this ebook, published by Hachette Digital.
To receive special offers, bonus content, and news about our latest ebooks and apps, sign up for our newsletters.
For more about this book and author, visit Bookish.com.
This book is intended to tell the authors story drawing from her memory, court documents, print and media stories, and actual letters. Conversations and quotations are based on her recollections. Any confusion in regard to names, dates, or locations is unintentional.
Copyright 2014 by Kathryn Sanders
Cover design by JuLee Brand
Cover photography by Anne Rippy/Getty Images
Cover copyright 2014 by Hachette Book Group, Inc
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitutes unlawful piracy and theft of the authors intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the authors rights.
FaithWords
Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017
hachettebookgroup.com
twitter.com/faithwords
First ebook edition: April 2014
FaithWords is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The FaithWords name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
The Hachette Speakers Bureau provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to www.hachettespeakersbureau.com or call (866) 376-6591.
The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version (public domain).
ISBN 978-1-4555-2620-8
E3
Praise for
NOW YOU SEE ME
NOW YOU SEE ME is an amazing and enlightening story of Kathy Sanderss pathway to forgiveness. Kathys firsthand recollections of the Oklahoma City Bombing of the Murrah Building, which took the lives of her two grandchildren, vividly paint a picture of that horrific day in U.S. history. Kathys surprising later connection to Terry Nichols not only brought her to a level of forgiveness, but sparked a spiritual awakening in him. This story will be of enormous benefit to friends and families going through similar trauma and working to find their own paths to forgiveness.
Jay Bradford, Arkansas insurance commissioner
As the district attorney responsible for the state prosecution of Terry Nichols, I dont subscribe to conspiracy theories or musings on possible government cover-ups. But as a common citizen, I was profoundly impressed and even moved by the spiritual journey taken by Kathy Wilburn Sanders. Only those robbed of their loved ones can truly comprehend the pain and grief this grandmother and her family experienced at the hand of McVeigh and Nichols. The beauty of this story is that she is a walking testament that Jesus Christ does what he says he can do: bring peace and joy out of the ashes of grief and despair.
Wes Lane
Riveting. Forceful. Redemptive. Written like a personal journal, with shades of investigative reporting, Kathy Sanders recounts her personal journey after losing her two grandsons in the 1995 Oklahoma City federal building bombing. Moving through her tragedy, devastation, doubts, depression, then finally arriving at the first stirrings of wanting to live again, this artist reveals the pathway to healing she found. A powerful journey of faith revitalized and forgiveness rediscovered. I wasnt able to put it down until I finished.
Dr. Kevin Clarkson, lead pastor of First Baptist Church, Moore, Oklahoma
Self awareness and the ability to forgive our enemies, as well as ourselves, seems impossible. This book shows how. Inspirational, thought-provoking, and insightful.
Joe Kleine, assistant coach of UALR, fifteen-year NBA player, member of the 1984 Olympic gold medal basketball team and 1998 NBA champion Chicago Bulls
I dedicate this book to my loving Savior, who taught me to sing through my sadness, to laugh through my tears, and to feel His compassion.
I would like to recognize my beloved husband, Tom Sanders, who blesses my life each and every day.
My daughter, Edye, who, while coping with her own grief, provided courage and strength that sustained me through the worst of times.
Larry and Frances Jones have been with me through every step of this journey.
Lee Hough is popularly regarded as Americas foremost agent representing Christian literature. Despite major health issues, up until his death, Lee was a persistent guardian of this project.
Although we had not previously exchanged e-mails or text messages, FaithWords editor Jana Burson took the time to meet me face-to-face when contemplating the publication of my story. She and I laughed and cried, and we bonded instantly with a common cause to share this book with the world.
J. Pat Carter and David Allen provided photos for this book.
Kathy Sanders
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King Jr.
S ometimes, when the hour is late and memories are unavoidable, I sit silently alone to watch videotapes of events I dread to see, the immediate aftermath of unspeakable death and destruction.
I wonder why I do that.
The bombing of Oklahoma Citys Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995, was the deadliest act of terrorism ever enacted on American soil until the attack on the World Trade Center six years later.
The media called the Murrah onslaught Americas worst tragedy since the assassination of President John F. Kennedy thirty-two years earlier. I dont endorse the comparison, except that the Oklahoma City Bombing served to confirm what the shock of the Kennedy assassination made us realize. That Americans were no longer safe. Even in our own country.
Within a sixteen-block radius, 324 buildings were damaged or outright destroyed. Eighty-six cars were burned or demolished. Total property damage was set at $652 million.
But all of that physical damage is woefully insignificant when compared to our precious loved ones who were taken away forever by the explosion.
The death toll reached 168, including nineteen children under the age of six. Two of those were Chase and Colton Smith, my grandchildren, ages three and two. During their short lives, they and their mother, the former Edye Smith, lived with me.
Today, my beloved grandsons live in heaven. They are remembered through videotapes, photographs, and the precious memories Ill cherish forever.