Table of Contents
Copyright 2009 by Flora Jessop and Paul T. Brown. All rights reserved.
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Some of the names in this book have been changed to protect individual privacy, but all of the people and stories are real and true. This happened, and it continues to happen today.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Church of lies / Flora Jessop and Paul T. Brown.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
eISBN : 978-0-470-45177-9
1. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day SaintsControversial literature. 2. Mormon
ChurchControversial literature. 3. Jessop, Flora, date. I. Jessop, Flora,
date. II. Brown, Paul T., date.
BX8645.C48 2009
289.33dc22
2008039029
This book is dedicated to all abuse victims and survivors.
Freedom, love, and family were things twisted and rotten,
but courage, strength, and dreams of safety carried us to a
new life. Hold your heads high, know you are worth being loved,
and let the world see your tears while you look them in the eye.
God is not vengeful and vindictive. Believe in a just and
loving God. Escape the fear and shame of abuse.
Only by breaking the cycle can we finally be free.
To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours,
and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators:
blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as
guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or
go down with the rest.
Acknowledgments
This book is not about blame. This book is about the things that happened to a child with no way to protect herself and no one to help. I know many good people who live polygamy, but I know none who live polygamy and are happy. I also come from the inside where the protection of the predators is the norm and shunning, shaming, and abusing the victims is common. This abuse of the victims continues today against those who have broken away, only wanting to be free and loved without the conditions imposed by the doctrines of polygamy.
This book is true and is about my experiences growing up in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS). I never wanted conflict; I only ever wanted to be free. For those born into the FLDS, freedom comes at a very high price, staying comes even higher.
If you are Gods chosen people, does it never cause you to wonder why He would require you to throw away the families you are supposed to be fighting to spend eternity with? If you spend eternity with those you are with now, can you imagine the agony eternity will be? Break the cycle, and take your minds away from the poison that has become your mantra, where children are sacrificed to deviants and crimes are glorified as the sacred rights of the priesthood. Remember what love feels like. Blind obedience to evil is still evil.
I have many people to offer acknowledgment to for many different kinds of contributions to the writing of this book:
To my brothers and sisters who are still members of the FLDSI love you all. I know some of you are angry, but I believe your anger comes more from what you are told to think rather than the truth of what I do. I hope someday you all have the freedom of thought to understand that God never asks His children to shun family because they choose a different path. God brought us all into this world as innocent children, and it is the cycle of abuse we were raised in that destroyed the family we were. I hope someday the cycle ends so we can be a family again.
To Momyou gave me life, and I will always fight to give you yours. I hope someday you will recognize that all of your children need and love you. I hope God gives you the strength to find your way to your grandchildren who need you too. We all love and miss you Mom.
To Rubya promise was made, and that promise I strive to keep. Freedom is never a lost dream. I love ya, Sis.
To my brother JoeI got to know you while you were in a coma, and God answered my prayers to pull you through. You are an amazing man, and I am so proud of your integrity and honor. You have broken the cycle. The amazing gift your children give me allows me to keep sight of why I fight for those of our family who remain inside. I will always fight to preserve the innocence of all the children.
To my brother Patrick, who fought for Americas freedom while denied the freedom to see his own mothernever let the past catch up, and never let the future come too fast.
To my brother Robert, who has the strength of many and the humor of oneyou have the ability to make the sun shine wherever you go.
To my brother Ryan, who was like my own babeyou started out like us all but have found promise in family. Hope to see you soon.
To my brother Lyman (Moms seventeenth child)you have the pain and sorrow of a twisted legacy to overcome but you have those who came before to help ease the suffering. Keep your head up, and know that we all suffered as you have. You have the gift of your brothers who understand what you feel but will never let it overwhelm you.
To all my brothersI thank you for accepting what I do even though you dont always agree. The concept of acceptance and family were foreign to our world until we each took steps to change our thinking. How sad that we grew up together but only got to know each other after we left. Lets go to the lake.