Hollie Cradduck - Hollies Road to Kona: A Young Womans Ironman Mission

First published by Pitch Publishing, 2016

Pitch Publishing

A2 Yeoman Gate

Yeoman Way

Durrington

BN13 3QZ

www.pitchpublishing.co.uk

Hollie Cradduck, 2016

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A CIP catalogue record is available for this book from the British Library

Print ISBN 978-1-78531-114-7

eBook ISBN: 978-1-78531-152-9

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For Rosie, thank you for helping me achieve my dreams. Love never fails.

For my sister, Emma, your strength has kept me strong.

For my parents, thank you for everything. Everything I am you helped me to be.

Time is tricky. You have months,
even years, when nothing changes
a speck, when you dont go
anywhere or do anything or think
one new thought. And then you
can get hit with a day,
or an hour, or a half a second when so much
happens its almost like you got
born all over again into some
brand-new person you for damn
sure never expected to meet.

E.R. Frank

T HIS book has been one of my hardest undertakings. My blog entries of the past two years have been known to waffle on sometimes and in that sense I thought that writing an elongated version would be somewhat easy. I definitely did not understand that writing this level of words would be so difficult to fulfil. My main issue was when trying to put myself in the readers position. Would this be interesting? Social convention states that you shouldnt talk about yourself too much when in conversation and although this is not a social situation, I still found it hard to just be writing about myself. After all, I really dont think Im that interesting.

However, the hardest thing about writing this book was the subject. Rosies death shook me to the core and is something I am still struggling to come to terms with over two years later. When I found out it changed everything. In one single moment my perfect life came crashing down before me. Yet this was not just my life. Losing Rosie changed my familys life forever. Although the pain of losing Rosie has not subsided, resurfacing these emotions was hard and there have been many tears shed while writing this book. There are raw emotions and honesty throughout this book. I have tried to remember as much of the following months after Rosies death as I can but as expected my emotions were all over the place.

One thing that all my family agree on is that reality did not seem like reality. Being in a bubble is the best explanation. I have asked for friends help for their opinions and accounts on how I was as there are a lot of gaps in my memory due to this. Time was something that just went by and wasnt really enjoyed. I lost friends, or just the ones who really cared were shown.

This has been a very personal book. No one has had a sneak preview, not even those closest to me. By that token some of my thoughts and doings will be a revelation to family and friends. I do owe my life to Ironman, maybe not in the sense of my physical being but mentally. It gave me the opportunity to enjoy life when I believed I never could again. For those I have met along my road to Kona, I can only thank you for also inspiring me and giving me another reason to live life. Sam was pivotal in my happiness now as without her I would not have met the love of my life, Nathan, so I cannot thank you enough for this. Nathans support over the past year has been second to none. Thank you for your love, care and your constant desire to see me smile. Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes.

Thank you to all the friends who stuck by me and continue to do so: Yuliya, Ele, Josie, Amy, Aled, Becca, Ange, James, Lucy. The list really could go on and if I could thank you all individually I would.

My biggest thanks has to go to my parents. Not only have they moulded me into who I am but without them none of this journey would have been possible. Their support from the moment I explained my goal has been exceptional. Even considering the enormity of my task they did not doubt me and believed in me when many did not. Aside from this their financial support has made it all possible. I am forever grateful to them for being the most fantastic parents and my role models.

Not only am I blessed with amazing parents, I have a beautiful and big family. Although we were broken after the loss of Rosie, our close relationship has tried when it seemed impossible to close some of the cracks. My sister Emma, having lost her eldest daughter, has shown so much strength even when she only naturally feels the weakest woman on earth and this has shown me to be strong too. We have only got closer since the tragedy and I am truly thankful for this. My brother in law, Des, has also been an amazing source of inspiration to me. Not only because his writing ability means he should have written this book for me, but also for the continuing love, strength and jokes he shows us all despite losing a daughter. My brother Brett, our family would never be the same without some of your horrible habits that I cant help but laugh at. I cannot thank you enough for the simple words of strength you instilled in me shortly after Rosies death. My sister in law, Linzi, you fit into the family like a missing jigsaw piece. Thank you not only for your lovely cupcakes but for the support and love you have shown us all.

My nieces and nephews are my constant inspiration. Amber, Tom, Phoebe, Lexi, Charlie, I am proud to be your auntie (as well as godmother in some cases). Although time is passing too quickly, I am enjoying seeing you all grow up.

Although he cant read, I have to say thank you to my pug Larry. His affection has helped me throughout the pain and he became my pillow to cry on on many occasions. When he wasnt being soppy his funny pug antics made me laugh when that was the last thing I thought of.

To my nan Joyce, who much like my mum is a woman who has inspired me as a person. If I could become anything like you and your kind nature I would have succeeded in life. To my baby nephew George, whom I never got to meet, you will always remain in my heart. Also Peter Loughran, an amazing friend, family man and Ironman. The world is a worse place for no longer having these exceptional people in it.

Lastly, thank you to Rosie, my life has only been made better for having you in it, even for the short time it was. This has all been for you and Ill walk with you every day.

If you never try, youll never know what youre capable of.

John Barrow

I F you had told a younger me that I would be wearing an unflattering lycra tri-suit, be covered head-to-toe in a neoprene wetsuit and standing alongside 2,000 others on a cold September day in Wales, I would never have believed you. However, in 2013 that was exactly what I was doing. My eyes were welling up while listening to Old Land of My Fathers waiting for the washing machine that would take place when every athlete runs into the cold Bristol Channel. The washing machine effect is a term used by triathletes to describe the frantic hustle and bustle and occasional smack from others limbs as you battle through the first discipline of a triathlon; the swim. In this case the swim distance was 2.4 miles and this was just the beginning of the long day that awaits during an Ironman triathlon.