Jayne Dillon - Jessi-cat: The Cat That Unlocked a Boys Heart

First published in Great Britain in 2013 by
Michael OMara Books Limited
9 Lion Yard
Tremadoc Road
London SW4 7NQ

Copyright Jayne Dillon 2013

All rights reserved. You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN: 978-1-78243-124-4 in hardback print format
ISBN: 978-1-78243-133-6 in ePub format
ISBN: 978-1-78243-134-3 in Mobipocket format

Designed and typeset by Design 23

www.mombooks.com

For my Dad, who would have loved this book. Also, for my family, cats and anyone with an invisible disability.

SELECTIVE MUTISM IS AN anxiety disorder of childhood in which affected children speak fluently in some situations but remain silent in others. The condition is known to begin early in life and can be transitory, such as on starting school or on being admitted to hospital, but in rare cases it can persist right through a childs school life.

These children usually do not talk to their teachers and may also be silent with their peers, although they do communicate non-verbally. Other combinations of non-speaking can also occur, affecting specific members of the childs family. Often the child has no other identifiable problems and converses freely at home or with close friends. He/she usually makes age-appropriate progress at school in areas where speaking is not required.

The essential feature of Selective Mutism is the persistent failure to speak in specific social situations (e.g. at school, with peers and/or the teacher), despite being able to speak in other, more familiar situations.

Children with Selective Mutism are likely to

Find it difficult to look at you when they are anxious they may turn their heads away and seem to ignore you. You might think that they are being unfriendly, but they are not they are just not able to respond.

Not smile, or look blank or expressionless when anxious in school, they will be feeling anxious most of the time and this is why it is hard for them to smile, laugh or show their true feelings.

Move stiffly or awkwardly when anxious, or if they think that they are being watched.

Find it incredibly difficult to answer the register, or to say hello, goodbye or thank-you this can seem rude or hurtful, but it is not intentional.

Be slow to respond in any way to a question.

Become more anxious when under pressure to speak.

Worry more than other people.

Be emotionally sensitive.

Be physically sensitive e.g. to noise, smells, touch, crowds.

Be very sensitive to the reactions of others they may misinterpret these reactions.

Find it difficult to express their own feelings because it is painful to do so.

From SMIRA (Selective Mutism

Information & Research Association),

www.selectivemutism.co.uk

LORCAN STOOD AT THE FRONT of the class, as thirty eager little faces gazed back at him from their desks. Beside him, on a table, sat a box containing a fluffy little miracle, the very reason he could face this momentous task. At the age of eight, he was about to make his first public speech and the subject hed chosen was his beloved pet, our beautiful Birman, Jessi-cat.

Before Jessi came into our lives two years ago, speaking in public wouldnt just have been daunting: it would have been impossible. Lorcan suffers from selective mutism, a debilitating anxiety disorder, which prevented him from speaking to classmates and teachers and struck him dumb for the best part of his early school years. Since the arrival of Jess, he has come on in leaps and bounds and, in December 2012, when it came to his turn in the Hot Spot where the children do a short talk on something they are interested in Lorcans teacher asked him if he wanted to do it. To her surprise and mine, he said he did.

It was only natural that Lorcan decided to do the talk on Jessi-cat, so we checked with the teacher that she would be allowed into school, and she agreed. We opted to keep the speech simple and have lots of things to show. Lorcan chose what he wanted to include and we noted down a few sentences about the charity Cats Protections Cat of the Year Awards, which Jess had won in the summer. Lorcan prepared well and, on the morning of the Hot Spot, he seemed fine. He went into school as usual, taking along his bag of cat-related items, and I went home to get Jessi. When we arrived at school, she was lying on a comfy blanket in her cat carrier and seemed quite relaxed, so I handed her over to the teacher and waited, anxiously, in the reception area.

We knew it could go one of two ways: Lorcan could find his confidence and do it really well, or struggle and clam up. Fortunately, his best friend had offered to help with the presentation, so I comforted myself with the thought that, if he struggled, George would help him. As Lorcan had been making huge progress with his talking at school, I was desperate for his big moment to go really well.

After a nail-biting ten minutes, my heart leaped as Lorcan came through the door. Then relief flooded over me as I saw the huge grin on his face. When he had been sent back to the class, the teacher told me Lorcan had done a brilliant job. He had not needed Georges help and had even answered questions asked by the children, who loved having the cat in school. He had talked about the awards she had won and shown them various mementoes, including the programme from the National Cat Awards ceremony at the Savoy hotel, a cat toy of Jesss and the beautiful pictures Simon Tofield, the creator of the British animated series Simons Cat, had kindly drawn for him. The teacher showed me a picture of Lorcan addressing the class and was delighted that hed overcome this hurdle, as was I. To stand up in front of a class of around thirty children and to be the focus of attention was a huge achievement for Lorcan.

Feeling elated, and a little choked up, I took Jess home and couldnt wait to share the news with friends and relatives. On my Facebook page, I posted:

Lorcan took Jessi-cat into school today and did a talk on her in front of the whole class! He talked about the National Cat Awards and answered questions. I dont believe he wouldve been able to do it by himself without the cat there. She is a precious blessing, living up to her fancy [pedigree] name of Bluegenes Angel.

Everyone was thrilled, and I was flooded with supportive messages from loved ones, who have followed his struggle with selective mutism. They understood what a huge event this was for all of us. And for me and the family it was another reason to be thankful that this gorgeous cat came into our lives. She has been a true Angel.

A FEW WEEKS BEFORE Christmas 2003 I took my two-year-old, Luke, to a birthday party for a boy the same age. As the children played, having plenty of noisy fun, I chatted to a friend who was pregnant, and due to give birth any time, and another expectant mum. In the midst of all the baby talk, I suddenly started to feel really strange, but I soon put it out of my mind as the frantic festive preparations took over.