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Merrel D. Clubb - A Life Disturbed: My Pacific War Revisited

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A Life Disturbed: My Pacific War Revisited: summary, description and annotation

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An exceptional storyteller with an analytical eye, Merrel Clubb has gathered the letters he sent his parents from the Pacific Theater of World War II and his subsequent reflections on that war and on his life into a kind of then-and-now memoir. The letters are a treasure trove of humor, anxiety, and hope, revealing a young man thrust into a war that he does not understand. Through this exceptional portal on the past, we learn of the tragic absurdity of war, of a soldier trained for naval warfare but sent into land battle with weapons hed never before fired; of command post latrines at which even commanding officers were sitting ducks; of the ghoulish trophies and mementos that soldiers collected from the battlefields.

The letters describe a vivid cast of characters, from Clubbs childhood friend who instilled a love of poetry in his comrades to the hillbilly singer and the prostitute with whom the young Clubb had varied amorous adventures. But the most compelling figure in this narrative is, of course, Clubb himself, an intellectual who carried Jane Austen and Joseph Conrad along with his tommy gun; who used books as a fortification for his foxhole, discovering upon waking one morning that Ouspensky stopped a bullet; and who, in a darkly humorous moment, wrote home that Plato is pretty consoling, because I can always think that somewhere there is a perfect hell of a navy of which this is but an imitation or representation.

Returning to these letters years later prompts Clubb to look again at the Second World War and at the atomic bomb that ended it. In an analysis as useful to understanding our own historical moment as it is to reconsidering the past, Clubb counters the conventional wisdom shared by veterans and civilians alike, particularly regarding the concept of a just war.

For Clubb, as for so many veterans, the war does not end with the victory over Japan. Despite the intervening years, Clubb finds that the haunting episodes experienced over half a century ago echo still. Even in the solitude of the forest, in the hunting parties he meets, in the animals he himself kills, he hears again the sound of battle, sees again the faces of the victims of war.

Part letters, part memoir, and part scholarly analysis, this volume ranges over a vast, colorful, and weighted territory. From the battles and respites in the Pacific Islands, to the night clubs and call girls of mainland San Francisco and San Diego; from the relative quiet of his aptly named hometown, Stillwater, to the similarly quiet Montana backcountry, Clubbs narrative explores the psychological terrain of a life disturbed, and forever changed, by war.

Merrel D. Clubb: author's other books


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This publication was supported in part by the Donald R Ellegood International - photo 1
This publication was supported in part by the Donald R. Ellegood International Publications Endowment.
2005 by the University of Washington Press
Printed in the United States of America
Designed by Audrey Seretha Meyer
12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05 5 4 3 2 1
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
University of Washington Press
P.O. Box 50096, Seattle, WA 98145
www.washington.edu/uwpress
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Clubb, Merrel.
A life disturbed: my Pacific war revisited / Merrel Clubb.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-295-98536-4 (hardback : alk. paper)
1. Clubb, MerrelCorrespondence. 2. World War, 19391945Pacific Area. 3. World War, 19391945Personal narratives, American. 4. World War, 19391945Amphibious operations. 5. United States. NavyOfficersCorrespondence. I. Title.
d767.c565 2005
940.54'5973'092dc22 2005007878
The paper used in this publication is acid-free and 90 percent recycled from at least 50 percent post-consumer waste. It meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ansi z39.481984.
ISBN 978-0-295-80087-5 (electronic)
To My Mother and Father
Preface
THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT THEN, AND NOW. The letters written during World War II to my parents upon which it is based record the wartime thoughts and experiences of a young man both in and out of battle: fighting on Kiska, Makin, Guam, and Iwo Jima, and in the wartime cities of San Francisco, Honolulu, and San Diego. In addition to a first, I think, eyewitness description of the amphibious landing at Gertrude Cove on Kiska Island in the Aleutians, the letters describe for the first time a then new type of interservice cooperation, that of naval gunfire teams charged with directing naval gunfire from land in support of army or marine operations ashore.
But the book is more than an epistolary memoir of World War II experiences long ago, for I have also revisited that war as an old man to interpret and comment upon the young man's experiences, and in the last two chapters I explore what reading the letters for the first time, forty or so years after I wrote them, has meant to me; what, as an old man, I think now about the war and my participation in it; and what effect the war may or may not have had upon my thinking and my lifethis at a time when I find myself attempting to examine my life as I face the inevitability of death, an experience curiously different from the many times I faced the possibility, often probability, of death during the war.
Except for correcting misspellings and punctuation in the letters, I have resisted any impulse to improve upon their organization, syntax, and style; therefore, most appear here almost exactly as they were originally written, with no literary pretensions whatsoever and with the immediacy only letters can give to past events. A few of the letters I have edited in minor ways in order to clarify obscurities in chronology, place, or content; to eliminate irrelevant material; or to fill in minor lacunae. In order for the letters to sound authentic as letters, I have retained some epistolary trivia, I hope not too much. Also I have indicated where words or phrases were cut out by wartime censors, references that for the life of me I cannot recall. Each letter and series of letters begins with a heading including a place and date, a convention which distinguishes them from the comments and elaborations of the old man.
I have made no serious attempt to document fully all the sources or reasons for opinions I express, particularly in the next to last chapter of the book, which is designed in part to counter what veterans and later generations tend to remember or believe about World War II, including the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the exploding of atomic bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Nevertheless, I have provided notes at the end of the book to document many direct quotations and the sources for some of my opinions, which are often quite different from those still held by many veterans and probably by the majority of younger Americans today.
I am greatly indebted to friends and family members, too many to name, who have read and commented on various versions of this book as it developed over time, and especially to my wife who read several versions and was helpful in many ways, not the least of which was patience. But I would like to single out by name the late Leonard Robinson, editor and writer, who from the first after my retirement encouraged me to embark upon what he so kindly referred to as my new career, and who read an early version of this book. Also, I want to name the late Walter Brown, my colleague and friend from the day my family arrived in Missoula, who read many of my writing efforts of all kinds and was one of the best critic-readers I have known. And I must mention the kindness and enthusiastic encouragement of the director and editors of the University of Washington Press. I am indebted, too, to the outside readers of the manuscript, who made many useful suggestions.
M.C.
May 2005
The Life Disturbed
EVERY WAR IS UNIQUE FOR ONE WHO experiences it at first hand, and for me that war took place far out in the Pacific Ocean, beginning December 7, 1941, and ending, at least officially, August 14, 1945. All other wars are history or history-in-the-making. I knew at the time a war was going on in Europe, but it was irrelevant and of no consequence to me. Out in the Pacific somewhere, I heard vaguely of V-E Day celebrations back in the States, but they signified nothing. My war was still going on. And my war is still going on more than sixty years later, just as World War I continued on for veterans of that war, just as the Vietnam War will continue on and on, year after year, for those who participated in it.
I recorded my wartime experiences in over one hundred and fifty letters I wrote to my parents in Stillwater, Oklahoma, letters my mother told me, after I returned to Stillwater, she had saved for me, thinking I might want to read them after the war was over. Why I never read the letters, never looked at them, until well over forty years later, I do not know. Perhaps I could not face them. But for whatever reason, I ignored them, even after my mother died many years later and the small round-top trunk she kept them in came into my possession. All I can remember now, as I approach the end of my life, is that after I received my discharge from the navy, I simply put everything about the war behind me and forgot.
Providence reinforced my separation from the war later in the summer of 1946, when my entire tangible past went up in flames in a fire that destroyed a moving van as I moved with my parents from Stillwater to Lawrence, Kansas. I lost everything I owned: the secret love notes from grade school that I had kept in a large peanut-shaped box; swimming medals and trophies accumulated during high school and college; shoe boxes full of notes for stories and poems; my photographs; my library collected over the years; the letters my father had written to me before and during the war; all of my war mementos, including a complete set of military orders (many tracing my movements throughout the Pacific war zones), battle maps of the islands where I had made amphibious landings as a shore fire control officer with the army or the marines, uniforms, citations and medals, the knife I held as I lay in a foxhole during a banzai attack one night on the island of Butaritari in the Makin Atoll, the .45 automatic I carried later for better foxhole security on Guam and Iwo Jima, the deeply dented helmet that saved my life on Iwo Jimathe entire memorabilia and impedimenta of my life up to that time.
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