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Text originally published in 1839 under the same title.
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TRIFLES FROM MY PORTFOLIO,
OR
RECOLLECTIONS
OF
SCENES AND SMALL ADVENTURES
DURING
TWENTY-NINE YEARS' MILITARY SERVICE
IN THE
PENINSULAR WAR AND INVASION OF FRANCE, THE EAST INDIES, CAMPAIGN IN NEPAUL, ST. HELENA DURING THE DETENTION AND UNTIL THE DEATH OF NAPOLEON, AND UPPER AND LOWER CANADA
BY A STAFF SURGEON.
retrorsum
Vela dare atque iterate cursus
rehetos.
HORAT.
IN TWO VOLUMES.VOLUMES.
Volume II
TRIFLES FROM MY PORTFOLIO.
CHAPTER I. BEAUTIFUL RIDES AND FINE VIEWS IN ST. HELENA.A DISAGREEABLE BRIGADIER.ILLNESS AND DEATH OF NAPOLEON.
ris in magnum fertur mare.
LUCRETIUS.
Roll on, thou deep and dark blue Ocean, roll!
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain;
Man marks the Earth with ruinhis control
Stops with the shore; upon the watery plain
The wrecks are all thy deed, nor doth remain
A shadow of man's ravage, save his own,
When for a moment, like a drop of rain
He sinks into thy depths with bubbling groan,
Without a grave, unknelled, uncoffined and unknown.
CHILDE HAROLD.
There is a wooded mountain-ridge in St. Helena, called Diana's Peak, three thousand feet above the level of the sea, from which the view is wonderfully grand and vast. It commands the whole circumference of the Island, with a circle of three hundred miles of oceanthe distant horizon mingling with the sky. This is a celebrated spot for Pic-Nics; although the labour of clambering to the top is no trifling undertaking for a lady, and the narrow ledge, or back-bone at the summit, with its nearly perpendicular sides, affords a very nervous promenade. The whole mountain is covered with wood; chiefly. the Geoffra or Cabbage Tree, shaped exactly like an umbrella, and enormous Polypodiums, twenty feet high: but here, as all over the Island, there is a dearth of wild flowers. At the base of the Peak, several fine springs of the purest and coolest water gush out; feeding long leaden pipes, which were put down in our time, to convey the water to Longwood and Deadwood.
The rides on the highlands, generally, were remarkably agreeablethe air cool, the road good, and every turn or fresh elevation presenting some new and striking combination of picturesque objects. The road running round Diana's Peak to Sandy Bay Ridge was a general favourite, as it afforded almost at every step the most wild and extraordinary prospects. On attaining the top of the ridge a scene of singular sublimity expands at once; looking quite unearthly, and like a bit of some strange Planet at first; until the old association with our own Globe is renewed by the names of two rocky obelisks standing boldly out of the vast hollow. These are called Lot and his wife; for the uncanonical people here have made a pillar of the gentleman as well as the lady. Sandy Bay is seen in the distance with its line of white surfhere and there a pretty patch of cultivation strikes the eye, niched in some sheltered nook; fantastic, peaked and splintered mountains rise all around, and beyond all, the illimitable ocean, with the cruizing vessels like white specks upon its surfaceperhaps stretching out to arrest the course of some strange ship coming right down on our Island.
Sir William Doveton, the only Knight, I believe, that St. Helena ever produced, had a pretty cottage at the bottom of the ridge., He was a respectable gentleman, who went to England in our time, and was Knighted by the Prince Regent. Sir William came home soon after to sport his new dignity amongst his brother Yam-stocks, to tell them the wonders of England, expatiate on the affability of the Court and the whiteness of the Prince's hands; and to assure the Islanders that London was not particularly dull, as they had heard, and that people of fashion could live in it even after the East India Fleet had sailed.
The second in command, Sir George Bingham, an officer much and deservedly liked, had gone to England in 1819, and was succeeded by a man of a very different characterof narrow mind and sordid disposition; in short, an-unamiable combination of miser and martinet. He quarrelled with our Commanding Officer, because he could not get unlimited fatigue parties from the regiment to work on his grounds, gratis; and in consequence annoyed us all as much as he couldharassed the corps with drills and field-days, and availed himself of any trifling irregularity to insult it in General Orders.
This officer resided near our Head Quarters at Francis Plain, where he farmed some acres of land from a poor octogenarian widow; which he cultivated la Cincinnatus; but he beat the old Roman hollow in fattening his own cattle and making money of his mutton. Poor Mrs. P thought at first she had found the nonpareil of tenants, for she received every week nice presents from the Generala dish of sweet-breads, a neat little roasting bit of beef, or a leg of lamb; but she soon had reason to change her opinion, when she saw every article charged at the highest rate, and deducted from the rent. Major H, the Brigade Major, was also taken in like the old lady. He found on his table one day after coming in from riding, a kind note from, accompanied by a quarter of mutton, which he ate in due time, with all the relish that unsuspecting credulity and fine flavour could conferbut was horrified by a memorandum of its price before the end of the month.
Now, not having the fear of the Commander-in-Chief before his eyes, the writer determined to expose and raise a laugh at the Brigadier for all these shabby proceedings. Accordingly, a number of placards were secretly printed and stuck up one night all over the town. One of these was sent to Plantation House, another to the Flag Shipeach Regimental Mess in the Island got one, and the General himself had the pleasure of finding one next morning on his breakfast table. The notices were as follows :
ADVERTISEMENT.
The public are respectfully informed that Brigadier General will kill a fat bullock at his house on Wednesday the 10th instant, and three fat sheep on the Friday after. Beef, from lid. to Is. per pound, according to the piece. Mutton Hind Quarter, 1s. 1d.Fore ditto, 11d. The General farther gives notice that Tripe is to be had at a reasonable price, and Geese are grazed on his grounds at one penny a-head per weekthe Ganders to pay double.
