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Tyler Stoddard Smith - Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the Worlds Oldest Profession

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Tyler Stoddard Smith Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the Worlds Oldest Profession
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Whore Stories: A Revealing History of the Worlds Oldest Profession: summary, description and annotation

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A Working History of Working Girls (and Guys)

Have you ever wondered how Heidi Fleiss came to be the face of upscale prostitution or if Casanova really was the worlds greatest lover? How about why Latin playboy Rubi Rubirosa got the nickname The Ding Dong Daddy?

Anything but judgmental, Whore Stories sheds light on one of our more stigmatized icons: The Prostitute. Featuring the true stories of famous streetwalkers, call girls, rent boys, and go-go dancers, this book offers a revealing look at the men and women who have blazed the bawdy trail of prostitution since the dawn of time. While you may think that you know everything about this occupation, Whore Stories includes plenty of details and even celebrities, such as Maya Angelou and Bob Dylan, that will leave you in awe.

From private schools and child preachers to mime fantasies and unfortunate amputations, this book uncovers the truth behind the worlds oldest profession.

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A R EVEALING H ISTORY of the W ORLDS O LDEST PROFESSION WHORE STORIES T - photo 1

A R EVEALING H ISTORY
of the W ORLDS
O LDEST PROFESSION

WHORE
STORIES

T YLER S TODDARD S MITH

DEDICATION To Mom and Dad for everything CONTENTS Chapter I BORN TO - photo 2

DEDICATION

To Mom and Dad, for everything

CONTENTS

Chapter I.
BORN TO WHORE

Chapter II.
PROMINENT PIMPS AND MANDARIN MADAMS

Chapter III.
HUSTLING FOR A HIGHER CAUSE

Chapter IV.
SURPRISE STREETWALKERS

Chapter V.
WHORES BEHAVING BADLY

Chapter VI.
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY WHORES

Morals are too often diagnostic of prostatitis and stomach ulcers.
John Steinbeck, The Log from the Sea of Cortez
INTRODUCTION

When I was a small child, I was prone to insomnia and fits of the night terrors. To get me to fall asleep, my mother and father would fasten me into our familys 1971 Toyota Carina, throw in an eight-track cassette of Anne Murrays Greatest Hits and drive up and down South Main Street in Houston, Texas, to look at the prostitutes. The blinking neon signs of the no-tell motels, the bling of streetwalkers working their finery, and the day-glo hues of their billowing lingerie were too much stimulation even for a toddler; I would finally shut my eyes and stop struggling against the seat belt while Shadows in the Moonlight and the South Main ho stroll played on. I nodded off to sleep not only with visions of sugar plum fairies, but also of leather-clad fairies, common harlots, desperate dope fiends, glamorous go-girls, and rowdy rent-boys all gyrating in my little head.

It wasnt my idea to expose me to a life on the street like that, but back in the 1980s, you had to get out of your house to experience life and love and also to look at prostitutes. Today you can just go to some live-stream dung dungeon and e-jaculate along with the rest of the blundering online nymphos to stuff youre not even creative enough to imagine, or ask for.

Since then, Ive visited prostitutes from Nuevo Laredo to Amsterdam, Hamburg to Tokyo, and Las Vegas to Havana, and one thing never changes: People are too quick to make assumptions about what visiting means. Where Im from, visiting can mean anything from talking and catching up with folk to setting fire to a miniature pony, although I havent heard it used that way in ages. The point is, I miss the calming effect provided by those idealized streetwalkers of my youth.

What? Youre not buying the nostalgic visiting whores put me to sleep as a child excuse for writing a hooker book? The lecherous lullaby ride not convincing enough? That was a 100 percent true story, but heres a more recent and possibly more accurate illustration of why I came to write Whore Stories, documented in an IM exchange last year between me and my agent, Jon Sternfeld. At the time, I was working on some leading-edge inventions, which is something I do when I am lonely and unemployed.

TSS: whats the worst thing about europe?

JS: I dont know. France?

TSS: making love in small cars.

JS: so?

TSS: kids keep having sex in those little Smart carsIve seen it myselfand I think it spells future spinal trouble.

TSS: you there?

JS: yes.

TSS: So ive invented a car wash where you rent a limo with your manfriend or ladyfriend and its in a big limoplenty of room. and palliative oils. itll be cheap. good tunes, too.

JS: A car-wash whorehouse?

TSS: a drive-thru love station with rain.

JS: hey, thats somethingyou should write something about whores.

And so I did.

If you are offended that the politically correct term sex worker is not used to describe the characters in this book, I apologize. But then you try to write a book called Sex Worker Stories! See, even with the exclamation point, Sex Worker Stories! sounds more like a serialized bodice-ripper involving one nurse techs search for true love in a haunted sperm bank. Aside from the common term used in the title, the words slut, harlot, trick, chickenhawk, rent-boy, trollop, prossy, hooker, gigolo, etc. are used liberally within. What can I say? The lexicon of love is a bountiful trove.

Selective word choice aside, the biographical material in Whore Stories is essentially accurate, providing you, dear reader, with an informative, entertaining, and revealing look at the men and women who have blazed the bawdy trail of prostitution since the dawn of time. Some of these people have become legends for turning tricks, like Xaviera The Happy Hooker Hollander, La Belle Otero, and the self-proclaimed Rosa Parks of male prostitution, Markus Bestin. Others have traded sex for money at some point in their lives, and then became famous for other reasons, like Al Pacino, Malcolm X, Former First Lady Nancy Reagan, and Valerie Solanas (she shot Andy Warhol). Still others have turned into man-eating spiders, like the Japanese whore-deity Jorogumo. And finally there are people who have no real claim to Fame: They are just intriguing individuals who happen to have been hookers.

The aim of this book, then, is a simple one: to look into some of the shadier corners of human history, and to shed a little light on an eternally compelling figure: the prostitute. And if youre thinking of asking me any more questions about my field research, then making the international sign for doing it, Ill tell you the same thing I told my agent: Cut it out, pervert. This is a historical document.

TSS

Chapter I
BORN TO WHORE

Do you believe in destiny? I dont, especially when good things happen to people I hate. Then again, when good things happen to people I love, I usually end up hating them for their success in the long run anyway. So maybe thats destiny.

It is perhaps a stretch to say that someone or another was truly born to whore. And while I believe that my neighbor Sarah was born to be wild (you can tell by the way she throws knives at the mailman), its probably selling many of these born whores short to say all they have to offer is their bodies. In fact, Madame de Pompadour, one of the most renowned prostitutes of all time, was known more for the brilliance that came out of her mouth than the unmentionables that went into it. The men and women that follow probably did (or will do) some other interesting things with their lives. But in the end, were going to remember these naturals for how they played on the field of prostitution. Either way, these prominent prossies deserve a chapter of their own, and here it is.

LAO AI

PROFILE

DAY JOB: Fraudulent eunuch

CLAIM TO FAME: Personal ho-go stick to the Empress Dowager

THEATER OF OPERATIONS: China in the Third Century B.C.

In imperial Chinas most famous history book, Records of the Grand Historian (or Shiji), were told of a man named Lao Ai who had an enormous penis. The Grand Historian, an academic named Sima Qian, has the following story on good authority. As the Shiji tells it, L Buwei, a chancellor and regent for the Qin government (and illegitimate father to the boy who would become Chinas notorious First Emperor), needs to find an impressive set of sex organs that he can keep on retainer and offer up to the Empress Dowager to keep her happy in his absence. He finds this prodigious penis in the person of Lao Ai, whom L presumably ran into at a hot springs or a truck stop. The

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