Moe Howard - I Stooged to Conquer: The Autobiography of the Leader of the Three Stooges

Copyright 1977 by the estate of Moe Howard

All rights reserved

Foreword copyright 2013 by Joan Howard Maurer

All rights reserved

Originally published as Moe Howard & the 3 Stooges by Citadel Press New edition published 2013 by Chicago Review Press Incorporated 814 North Franklin Street Chicago, Illinois 60610

ISBN 978-1-61374-766-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Howard, Moe.

[Moe Howard & the 3 Stooges]

I stooged to conquer : the autobiography of the leader of The three stooges / Moe Howard.

pages cm

Originally published as Moe Howard & the 3 Stooges, by Citadel Press, 1977.

Includes index.

ISBN 978-1-61374-766-7

1. Howard, Moe. 2. ComediansUnited StatesBiography. 3. Three Stooges (Comedy team) I. Title.

PN2287.H73A35 2013

791.43028092dc23

[B]

2013009772

All images courtesy of the Moe Howard Collection Cover design: Andrew Brozyna, AJB Design Inc. Interior design: Scott Rattray

Printed in the United States of America

5 4 3 2 1

Dedicated to my wonderful wife, Helen, and my son, Paul, who had confidence in my ability to write a book.

And to my darling daughter, Joan, without whose help there never would have been a book.

C an you imagine Moe without the mayhemMoe putting pen to paper rather than fingers into Curlys eyes, writing down loving thoughts instead of growling, ILL MOIDA YA? Yet that was exactly what he did to stay a part of our family while spending lonely nights in strange hotels on the road, thousands of miles away from everything that was most meaningful to him.

Moe, in this his autobiographyalthough painting a very compelling picture of his life as a comedian onstage, in films, and on televisionfailed to include important details of his softer side: the romantic who, while in London, hired a singer to serenade his wife five thousand miles away on their anniversary; the selfless man who played Santa to cerebral-palsied children.

In addition to his love, Moe had a drive to share his good luck with others. His poem My Wish, written to my mother in the 1920s, is a perfect example of the lesser-known side of my father.

My Wish

The talents which the Lord gave me,

Not great or many are

But what he gave I know Ill save,

By spreading them afar.

And should great riches come to me,

At some bright future hour,

Twould be my call with man to share,

My fortune and my power.

I could not be a happy man,

Nor have a peaceful soul,

Should I retain each thing I gain,

Within my small control.

If fame a distant happy goal,

Should ever be my fate,

The golden crown would bear me down,

Should I not share its weight.

My wish is ever to divide,

The good things that I gain,

Could I not give, I would not live,

I could not stand the pain.

If I should have a kings great power,

Id have to share my throne,

Id give you most, no idle boast,

Of everything I own.

Good health has blessed me all my life,

So conscious of that gift,

Ill use that strength throughout lifes length,

My sweethearts cares to lift.

Mosey

This poem illustrates the kind and loving man my father really was behind his mask of comical mayhem. The world loved him for clobbering Larry, Shemp, and Curly. We loved him for the soft-spoken, loving gentleman who resided behind the mask.

Many Hollywood celebrities write their memoirs to bask in their past fame or perhaps make a hefty advance royalty. But not Moe. His decision to write his autobiography was spawned from a more humble purpose. The following page from one of the drafts of his book never made it into the final published version:

After answering thousands of fan letters, asking thousands of questions, I finally decided something had to be done, especially with postage rates up to ten cents. Answering fan mail is becoming hard work. It finally dawned on me that the best way out of this dilemma is to write my autobiography and answer all questions, past, present and even future. I started writing in 1970 and it is now 1974. The fan mail and the questions have never stopped and Im just going out of my cotton pickin mind trying to finish the book and get it to a publisher. To sit down all alone with a blank sheet of paper and try to put down in words sixty-five years of show business is such a monumental undertaking that I sometimes wonder if Ill have enough energy left to read it when Im finished.

My mother, Helen, knew better than anyone the essence of the man behind the scowling mask. In response to a request by the original publisher of Moes autobiography, Helen, bedridden in 1974 while battling cancer, had this to say:

Tomorrow will be Moes 77th birthday. Intermittently, during this year, Moe has been writing the saga of the Three Stooges. But more important to me is the story of Moe the Man. Behind the veneer of Mean Moe, the man that generations have learned to adore, is a heart of velvet. In his writings he is too modest to give himself credit for the trials and tribulations that he has had to overcome to make The Three Stooges a legend in our time.

My father would die the next year, and my mother six months after that.

Moe would have been thrilled to see Chicago Review Press using his preferred title on this reprint of his autobiography, replacing its original title, Moe Howard & the 3 Stooges. He loved the hidden humor of his play on words with the title of Oliver Goldsmiths play She Stoops to Conquer. Moe, throughout his lifetime of entertaining millions around the world, had certainly Stooged to Conquer.

J OAN H OWARD M AURER, DOM

( DAUGHTER OF M OE)

J ANUARY 2013

N OTE: My father was right about the difficulty of trying to recall hundreds of events and dates over the course of sixty-five years, two-hundred-plus films, and countless personal appearances. Thus, well have to forgive him for an inaccuracy or two. To wit: Shubert archival records and recently discovered handwritten notes by Moe reveal that Ted Healy asked Larry to join the team in the Rainbo Gardens nightclub, not Marigold Gardens. And the year was 1928, not 1925.

T here was little to recall about baby Moses Harry Horwitz. Only that his dad intimated that he was an ugly infant, a sort of shriveled monkey. Dad should have kept that to himself, for he was reminded sharply and often by the tots mother that he was no bargain either.