Rutger Hauer - All Those Moments: Stories of Heroes, Villains, Replicants, and Blade Runners

Ive seen things you people wouldnt believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Day Out of Days:
Entries from My Personal Diaries

In early 2004, I had a problem.

I was in Los Angeles, and I had a job lined up that was keeping me in towna small-budget movie that I thought was kind of interesting. It had something to do with a virus and the Internet and the fate of mankind. It seemed like it was all set, but then one of the financial backers suddenly disappeared. The producers called my agent, saying, Well, were not going to do the movie. This happened on a Thursday.

Now, disappointment is a way of life when youre in the movies. Sometimes you dont get the part you want, and sometimes a film youre in just dies. Ive been in situations where Im talking to my manager or agent, and Ill say, What about that film we worked so hard on two years ago? When are we going to see that? And it turns out the film died on the vine. A backer pulled out and the film is not going to be released. The film is made, its sitting on a shelf somewhere, and thats where it will continue to sit until the end of time. You have to be somewhat stoic about these things if you want to keep your sanity.

All the same, the early death of the virus movie came as a blowI had been counting on it. The lease on my house in Santa Monica was up, and I had to decide if I was going to rent a house for another year. On the one hand, I couldnt be sure Id get enough work during the year to justify it. On the other hand, although my primary home is in Holland, I need to have a base in the United States because I have a green card that I dont really feel like giving up.

Oh, jeez, I said to myself. What am I gonna do now? It was a conundrum that could keep Einstein awake in his bed at night.

On Friday morning, I got another call from my agent.

We have something really interesting.

Let me guess, I said. Theyre going to do this virus thing after all?

No. That would be good, but no. I think its even better than that.

Okay. Im all ears.

A young English director named Christopher Nolan is making a Batman movie in London. Its going to be sort of a more British version than the earlier ones, and hes interested in you for a part. Are you willing to travel, and if you are, will you travel quickly?

Let me read the script and Ill let you know.

My agent hesitated. Okay, but you have to let me know by tonight.

Tonight?

Tonight.

They sent a courier over with the script for Batman Begins early that afternoon. It was a totally different Batman , and had nothing to do with the earlier movies. In fact, it was a new beginning to the story. The character they were considering me for was Richard Earle, the CEO of Wayne Industries, who has made the company profitable by investing in arms deals and other sinister, under-the-table activities. It was a minor role, but I could see where I might have fun with it. In the story, hes the big boss, and the people who work for him snake around because theyre a little afraid of him. He has that authority thing going on, and people want to get him, but they dont want to confront him directly. I thought the script, and the character, were really good.

The sun was just settingthe last light going out of the skyas I called my agent back that evening.

I like the script. So whats the deal?

Well, he said, the deal is that they fly you to London very soon. And if they like you, youre working very soon. If they dont like you, you pay to fly yourself back to L.A., or to Amsterdam, or wherever you like, and youre not working.

Los Angeles to London is ten or eleven hours in the air. At least two and a half hours in the airport waiting to leave. Probably another two hours for a layover somewhere. Eight or nine hours lost to time-zone changes. A long journey by anyones estimateI could use a few days to prepare.

When do they want me to fly? I said.

Tomorrow morning.

There was a pause on the line as I digested this latest information.

Rutger?

Yes, yes. Fine. Tomorrow is fine.

I packed my bags in about twelve minuteswhen you travel as much as I do, a lot of this stuff is just waiting to go, and the two bags I tend to travel with are solid and loyal companions. One is a Japanese designers concoction, which is tougher than it looks and has already weathered the storms of several years. Nothing too fancy thereit holds clothes.

The other bag is a German trunk made out of aluminum. It is sooo strong. Not that it would do me much good, but it could survive anythinga plane crash, a nuclear war, you name it. It holds vitamins, a small weight for a specific exercise I need to do with one leg, and an ice-pack thing I need to use on the other leg when it has a busy daythe legacy of countless stumbles and falls during a career in action movies.

Scripts I should have read already are also in the trunk, along with cameras of various kinds. The DVD with a short film on it called The Room that I codirected, and which I enjoy showing people. Its in there. It also holds some books, some sweats, and some coins from the countries I visited last year rattling around at the bottom. Finally, there is the sophisticated Boy Scout knife for grown menyoud be surprised at some of what Ive been able to accomplish with that thing.

There was a timebefore e-mailwhen the trunk carried a small fax machine, just to be able to connect me home to my wife. Hard to believe, but it was only a few years ago when all of that connecting still needed to be organized by handin many a strange and exotic place, I used to tear my hotel room apart rewiring the phone hookup.

After packing up my stuff, I went right to bed, got up in the wee hours of Saturday morning, and flew to London. I felt pretty bleakit was a long way to go if this directors interest turned out to be nothing.

Okay, Im a doubter. Sometimes I hit a note, and the note is not doubtful. But so often we pretend to be gods in Gucci clothes, and its nonsense. Its just to reassure ourselves and live in this illusion that we are solid as hell and were not water, and we know what were doing. We dont, and thats okay. If you know everything, then youre probably not open to new discoveries. What was the line from one of those Guinness commercials I did? If you keep an open mind, youll discover dark secrets.

I got to London very late Saturday night. By then, I barely remembered who I was or what I was doing there. People smiled at me in the airportI smiled back. Yes, hi. Hello. There was sparse traffic on the roads, so the car zipped to the hotela very nice place, classy furnishings, and a street-level suite. I hit the pillow and was gone in three minutes.

I woke up a few hours later in the grim light of an English dawn. It was Sunday morning, I had bloodshot eyes and enormous jet lag, and I got ready to see the director. As I stepped into the hallway of the hotel, I noticed Liam Neeson, the great actor from Michael Collins and many other films, standing there, several doors down. He was letting himself into his room. I knew he had a role in the movie. I had never met him, and if I got the part I wouldnt have any scenes with him, but I had done a movie called Past Midnight with his wife, Natasha Richardson. That seemed like a good enough reason to intrude on his morning.