Huckabee - God, guns, grits, and gravy

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Ive never been ashamed of where I come from or the way I grew up. I wouldnt trade it for any amount of money. I learned to be resourceful and resilient. Only in the last few years have I earned the kind of money that empowered me to give away more than I used to make. Its given me mobility, opportunities, and comfort that I couldnt have imagined as a child. The people who taught me the great lessons of life were largely hardworking, humble, and simple. They had the sort of common sense that was born out of necessity, and were the kind of folks I would hope would show up if I got sick or needed a neighbor to help me hunt for my dog if he got loose.

My life has been largely molded by people that some might not consider to be sophisticated. Theyre my kind of folks.

My wife, like me, comes from such stock. Shes now weathered forty years with me, and has done it quite well. Our marriage has produced three now-grown children, and the four most beautiful grandchildren on the planet, and I say that with all objectivity. To my wife, children, grandchildren, and all my friends who have been part of this journey in the land of God, guns, grits, and gravy, I dedicate this book.

When you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you can be pretty sure he didnt get there by himself. And though a book may be the product of one authors thoughts, rest assured that a lot of other people are involved. It certainly is true in the case of this precious tome you hold in your hands.

I owe a lot of gratitude to my family, who accepted my being unreachable many times while I was holed up in my office or my balcony and belting out another chapter to stay on deadline. This is the first of twelve books Ive written without the companionship of my beloved black Lab, Jet, who died in January 2013 after fifteen years together. I still miss him, but Toby and Sonic, our Cavalier King Charles spaniel and Shih Tzu respectively, have done their best to provide inspiration and companionship when my wife has long since gone to bed.

St. Martins Press has been great to put their trust in me and turn me loose. Its been wonderful working with their entire team and their editor in chief, George Witte, and editorial assistant Sara Thwaite. And Sally Richardson, president of St. Martins Press, won me over at hello. Her enthusiasm, depth, and vision for the book have been better than a bowl of grits with cheese and shrimp, and where I come from, thats good. As a writer, I have loved that Ive been allowed the freedom to say what I felt and do it in my own voice.

My agent, Frank Breeden, has been more than an agent. He is a trusted friend who has helped guide me through the turbulent waters of the publishing world.

Two indispensable partners in the project were Pat Reeder and Laura Ainsworth, who have worked with me for several years as writers and researchers for my daily radio commentary, The Huckabee Report, and who helped research a lot of the material in the book that illustrates the message inside. They not only were of great assistance, but provided tremendous encouragement and gave their opinion when they thought a chapter was good and when something didnt float the boat.

Duane Ward and Josh Smallbone of Premiere Marketing, working along with my son Davidwho runs several of the companies I ownhave put together the effort to get me on the road to promote and sign the book in venues across the country.

Most of all, thank you, for buying (or stealing) this book and investing some of your precious time to read it. I really do want you to enjoy it. Ive written it for you to easily understand and enjoy. I didnt write it for academics and scholars because I think it would be over their heads. I truly hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Contents

T HE THREE MAJOR NERVE CENTERS of our culture are New York City, Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles. The nations finance and fashion center is New York City; D.C. is the epicenter of American politics and government; and Los Angeles is the nexus for entertainment, whether movies, television, or music. They are the three bubbles of influence in our modern culture and they are indeed bubbles. I call these cities Bubble-ville. I intentionally live in what I call Bubba-ville. Its where Bubbas live, and where a lot of people are called by two names: Mary Elizabeth, Katherine Grace, Jim Bob, and Darryl Wayne.

I travel to New York City every week to host my TV show on the Fox News Channel. Because the show originates from there, most people think that I surely must live there. Im quick to say, I dont live there and wont unless they will let me duck hunt in Central Park. Im quite certain that isnt going to happen since its all but impossible to own a gun in New York City, much less legally use it. Unless youre a cop or a crook, you probably dont possess a firearm in New York City. In fact, youve probably never seen one in person.

But its more than guns. Have you ever tried to order grits in a fancy Manhattan restaurant? Good luck. Not even for breakfast! And youll get some real weird looks if you ask for sawmill gravy on your potatoes or biscuitsthat is if you can find real biscuits. And Im sorry, but gravy on a bagel just doesnt work for me. If I want to chew that hard, Ill take up chewing tobacco, which I wont. Im not even that rural! I can somewhat understand that New York restaurants might not typically have red-eye gravy or chocolate gravy as those might be a bit regional, but how can an eating place that fancies itself fancy have the audacity to open its doors and not have biscuits and gravy or grits on the breakfast menu?

And while there are some really wonderful churches in New York City, I get the impression that the total number of the people who faithfully attend church is a small fraction of the population. Its not completely Sodom and Gomorrah, but the traffic at 3 a.m. Sunday is more intense than at 11 a.m. That ought to tell you something.

Dont get me wrongNew York is an exciting city and theres always a lot going on. Its full of energy and it has a unique vibe all its own. But its crowded, loud, hurried, intense, and it just seems like its streets are filthy. Even when the trash gets picked up, you always want to burn your shoes after youve walked the New York streets because of all the stuff that is ever present on the sidewalks. I cant find a Walmart in Manhattan, either, and people stare at my cowboy boots when Im on the subway. Whats up with that? I prefer boots over Birkenstocks. Does that make me weird?

I feel out of place in Washington, D.C. as well. I really spend very little time in our nations capital and only go there when I have to. Its a lovely city with all those monuments and stone buildings, but if ego could be turned into electricity, Washington, D.C. would have electric power in unlimited levels and never have a power outage. But for a city where everyone sure is in a hurry and acts busy, nothing productive ever happens there. Some people think that because Im involved in politics, I surely must live there. I dont. In fact, theres only one address in that city that Id probably want to relocate to.