Beverly Lewis - The Telling

the Telling

BEVERLY

LEWIS

With love to Barbara,

my amazing sister.

One of the best storytellers I know.

A pity beyond all telling

Is hid in the heart of love...

from The Pity of Love, Yeats

All we like sheep have gone astray...

Isaiah 53:6a, kjv

Prologue

If the tables were turned, and I was the fancy young woman walking into a truck stop with my Amish friend this morning, Id be choosing the table set back against the wall. Away from curious eyes. But Heather Nelson was the one deciding where we would sit. Wearing a loud pink short-sleeved blouse and pencil-thin blue jeans, she never once blinked an eye as she pulled out a chair and sat down... smack-dab in the midst of so many Englischers. Nearly all men, too.

Maybe she was oblivious to them I cant really say. After all, this was a familiar world to her. As for me, my neck was mighty warm as I lowered myself into my chair, painfully conscious of the stares. I could just imagine what they were thinking about the two of us different as rosemary and sage .

I reached for the menu right quick and hid behind a long list of sandwiches, soups, and milk shakes. But my appetite was diminishing all the while my uneasiness was increasing. I lowered the menu and peered over the top at Heather. She leaned her ivory cheek into her fisted hand, her bare elbows on the table as she looked over the options. See anything good? she asked, her pretty blue eyes twinkling.

My mind was hardly on food. The upcoming reunion with my mother weighed heavily on me. We had driven for more than four hours and had just crossed into Ohio. Only about an hour and a half till I see Mamma again. My heart pounded at the thought. Ill have something light to eat, if anything.

A sweet roll?

Uh, probly not. In a place like this, the sticky buns most likely came out of a box.

Heather glanced at her wristwatch. Do you still want to arrive in Baltic by early afternoon?

I nodded and turned to look out the window at the parking lot. I dreaded the thought of getting back in the car, nice as it was. With a sigh, I faced Heather again and was aware of two men looking our way. Truck drivers, Heather had told me when first we stopped to fill up the car.

Grace? She was frowning now, and the waitress was hurrying toward us. What if we just ordered something for the road?

I agreed as the waitress looked sideways at me before jotting down my order, her blond hair all schtruwwlich about her round face. You two... um, together?

Heather nodded, eyeing my prayer cap. She ordered some coffee and a cinnamon roll, then stopped, shook her head, and quickly asked if there was any fresh fruit. Strawberries... an apple or two?

After the waitress scurried off, I noticed the same two men still staring at us, their sleeves rolled up to their muscular shoulders. There were markings up and down their arms a set of tiny baby footprints and a red rose with a black, thorny vine trailing clear down to one mans elbow. Id never seen anything like it, and now I, too, was staring at them. Had Mamma encountered similar worldly sights during her recent travels?

Heather squeezed my arm, tilting her head. You all right, Grace?

One of the men looked away, while the other seemed to be sneering.

Frankly, Im feelin all in. I excused myself to the washroom to splash cold water on my face. I reached for the paper towels, which were not secured to the dispenser but stood on the ledge of the grimy sink. Quickly I tore off a piece and dried my face and hands, my fears rising. How will Mamma react to seeing me?

I raised my face to peer into the streaky mirror. At home our mirrors were mostly handheld ones... almost too small to allow me to see the whole of my head, let alone the upper bodice of my dress. Even my bureau had only a modest-sized mirror, not at all like the dressers at the home of our English neighbors, the Spanglers.

I felt momentarily ashamed. Mamma had always taught my sister, Mandy, and me not to be swayed by the temptation toward vanity. And wed always heeded the warning. Well, nearly always.

Glancing again at my reflection, I didnt focus on my honey-blond hair peeking out from beneath my Kapp , nor the shape of my features. What I noticed caught me off guard as I studied my tired, even terrified, expression. I saw clearly now the uncertainty in my own blue eyes. Placing my hands on my cheeks, I breathed in ever so slowly. Is this trip such a good idea, really?

Sighing, I knew in my heart I was willing to put up with any awkwardness even fear if it meant bringing Mamma home. No matter the gawking eyes or the inconvenience, I ought to cherish the trip for what it meant: a chance for Mamma to start over with a clean slate.

I turned on the water once again, washing my hands a second time as if peering too long in the mirror had somehow tainted me. Surely by now Mamma understood that leaving without an explanation was a blight on us all. Besides, didnt she feel estranged, even cut off? Wouldnt she like to begin anew... if she could?

A chill ran down my back and I longed for my shawl as a comfort, if for no other reason. Then, reaching for the washroom doorknob, I left the small, dingy room. Shyly I moved back toward Heathers and my very public table, where Heather sat fiddling with her fancy little phone to check her email, as shed done earlier while waiting to get gas for the car. I was grateful the two men now seemed more interested in their food than me.

I spotted our order already sitting on the table. Did we get the bill? I asked, reaching for the sack.

Beat you to it. Heather smiled and clicked off her phone. She slung her purse over her shoulder.

I offered to treat next time. Then I squared my shoulders and said, Lets be goin, and led the way to the door.

Little Lamb, who made thee?

Dost thou know who made thee?

Gave thee life, and bid thee feed

By the stream and oer the mead;

Gave thee clothing of delight,

Softest clothing, woolly, bright;

Gave thee such a tender voice,

Making all the vales rejoice?

Little Lamb, who made thee?

Dost thou know who made thee?

Little Lamb, Ill tell thee,

Little Lamb, Ill tell thee:

He is called by thy name,

For He calls Himself a Lamb,

He is meek and He is mild;

He became a little child.

I a child, and thou a lamb,

We are called by His name.

Little Lamb, God bless thee!

Little Lamb, God bless thee!

The Lamb, William Blake

one

There were days when Heather Nelson awakened in the silence, in that obscure first awareness of early morning, and believed she was back in Virginia. Before Mom died of cancer.

This had been one of those mornings. Yet in less than a minute, shed remembered precisely where she was: upstairs in her cozy room in Andy and Marian Riehls farmhouse, a real-life Amish tourist home. She was still too distracted by her own cancer diagnosis and the recent visit from her father to work more on her masters thesis, as shed hoped. Her father was completely caught up in his plan to build a house in the middle of this Amish community. His revelation yesterday that she had Plain roots had jolted her, but she certainly understood a little better his reasons for relocating. And now here she was on this spontaneous trip shed volunteered for, driving Grace Byler, the young Amishwoman in the seat next to her, to visit her runaway mother in the small Ohio town of Baltic. Like the sea, Heather thought, glancing at Grace, who looked so hopeful. And very healthy.

Will I die like Mom? Im only twenty-four!

It was impossible to forget how deliberately her oncologist, Dr. OConnor, had turned his solemn gaze away for a moment, giving Heather a chance to absorb the bad news she had non-Hodgkins lymphoma. There in his office, shed stared at the back of his dark head as he looked toward the window, a frame for the parklike setting across the street. The sun, half covered by wispy cirrus clouds, had filtered its rays through the fragrantly blossoming crab apple trees below some profusely pink, others delicately white.