Mary Alice Monroe - Girl in the Mirror

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Margaret Wolfe Hungerford

April 1996

I f all the world was a stage, it was time once again to play her part.

Charlotte sat in the green room of the television studio while outside, strains of the talk shows theme song intermingled with audience applause. She had promised Vicki Ray this interview, and there was no choice now but to endure the hour or suffer months of bad press. Shed had enough bad press lately. Now her plan was set. Freddy had seen to every detail in his usual compulsive manner. How had he put it? Interview, marriage, surgery. Bim, Bam, Boom.

The only booming she felt right now was in her temples, a rhythmic, tympanic beat. How hot the room was! Bringing a fevered hand to her forehead, she noticed with alarm that it was trembling. And her lips, so parched. Oh, please, she prayed, holding her fingers tight, steadying them. Dont let the symptoms come back now. Maybe one more pill, she decided, quickly fumbling through her purse. Just in case.

Three brisk knocks sounded on the door.

Charlotte? Freddy Walen walked in without waiting for a response. Although not a big man, his dominating presence filled the room, causing Charlotte to shrink inside. His eyes, as hard as the diamond on his pinkie finger, assessed her with a proprietary air.

Goodgood, he said, stroking his neatly trimmed mustache, observing every detail. Her swanlike neck was unadorned, her golden hair spilled loosely around her shoulders, and her eyes, her large, luminous blue eyes, shone with an icy, mesmerizing luster. It was a look that Freddy referred to as the brilliance of a star. Hed taught her that her public expected Charlotte Godfrey to be dressed in understated elegance, and she never disappointed them.

Whats that youre taking? he demanded.

A painkiller. Ill need it to get through the interview. She stared at the white pill in her hand, then raised her eyes, worry shining clearly. Freddy, cancel the interview. Im not well enough. The symptoms are returning, my hands are shaking, and taking another pill is not the answer.

Youll be fine, he said in a gruff manner, patting her shoulder. Buck up. We cant cancel now. Besides, we need this interview to settle a few rumors. Then the press will be off our backs so we can hustle to South America and get you well. Zip up this show and well be out of here. I promise. Now, take that pill.

Charlotte poured herself a tumbler of water. I dont trust Vicki Ray. Shes tough. Crafty. What if she suspects?

Forget it. Vicki doesnt have a clue. If she did, Id know about it.

Miss Godfrey? From outside her door came the high, strained voice of an usher. Are you ready yet? Its really time.

She understood his panic and took pity. Besides, she couldnt stall any longer. Yes, she called, quickly swallowing the medicine. Of course. Right away.

Remember, Freddy said, grabbing hold of her shoulders. Its just another part. Follow the script, babe, and youll be great.

Charlotte shook off his hands. Dont be a fool, Freddy. Theres no script with Vicki Ray.

Opening the door, she met a panic-eyed young man who guided her down the hall with the speed of a police escort, past a series of attendants who smiled at her with starry eyes. Shed become immune to that rapt expression during the past few years, knowing better than to be flattered. They knew nothing about her, the woman behind the face. She walked quickly by with only a nod of acknowledgment.

They reached the stage just as Vicki Ray launched into her introduction. She mentioned several of Charlottes film roles and the meteoric rise of her career. Charlotte listened keenly, compelling herself to become on camera the woman being described: a woman of legendary beauty. An on-screen phenomenon and an off-screen recluse. The new Garbo.

There was a minutes silence, one brief moment to raise a hand to her brow and collect her wits. Charlotte took a deep breath, willed her hands to appear relaxed at her sides, then dug deep to deliver the mysterious, sultry smile that was her trademark.