Nancy Thayer - The Hot Flash Club Strikes Again

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOR
Jean Mallinson
With admiration
And gratitude for
Thirty luscious years of epistolary friendship

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Gallons of Godiva to the heavenly Linda Marrow and the divine Meg Ruley!

Crates of Nantucket Sweet Inspiration chocolate to Deborah Beale, Steve Boldt, Mimi Beman, Martha Foshee, David Gillum, Gilly Hailparn, Charlotte Maison, Tricia Patterson, Jane Patton, Pam Pindell, Josh Thayer, Jill Hunter Wickes, Sam Wilde, and Arielle Zibrak.

Thanks to Terry Pommett for information about videography.

And for Charley... all the chocolate kisses you want!

Because Polly Lodge liked to look on the bright side, the word she chose to describe her mother-in-law was challenging, as in the ferret makes a challenging pet. So when Pollys only child, David, married, Polly vowed to be the best mother-in-law she could possibly be, and the least interfering.

Sometimes, this was a struggle. But even though her sons wife, Amy, was a week overdue for the birth of Pollys first grandchild, Polly did not phone David and Amy every day. Of course they would call her when the baby was born! In the meantime, she didnt so much sleep at night as levitate a few inches off her bed in a trance of anticipation, every instinct straining to hear the ringing of the phone.

And then the phone rang.

It was the middle of the night. Polly lurched up and grabbed for the handset, knocking all her books off the bedside table.

Hello?

Davids voice was gorgeously smug. Hello, Grandma.

Polly shrieked. Amy had the baby! She switched on her bedside lamp and sat up, leaning against the headboard. From the foot of her bed, her ancient basset hound, Roy Orbison, shot her a long-suffering look, then laid his head down between his paws and resumed snoring.

She did indeed. Davids laugh was proud.

David and Amys insistence on having the baby born at home with a midwife had worried Polly, but shed kept quiet, and now the joy in her sons voice signaled that all was well. Polly fell back among her pillows, weak with relief. Stop it, David! Dont torture me! Theyd also decided, when theyd had the first ultrasound, not to be told the sex of the baby, nor to discuss the names they were considering.

Jehoshaphat Feast Piper has just arrived on planet Earth, weighing nine pounds, three ounces, and bellowing like a bull.

The string of unfamiliar syllables made Polly blink. Jehohuh?

Jehoshaphat was a biblical king, famed for his righteousness.

Oh, David! Tears streamed down Pollys face. A little boy! Oh, darling, congratulations! Hows Amy?

Shes beautiful. Now Davids voice was choked. She was awesome, Mom.

Oh, Im sure she was! Please tell her how proud I am of her. Give her a hug for me. And lots of kisses for everyone! Is there anything I can do?

No, thanks. I think were going to try to snatch a few hours of sleep. Were exhausted. Well, Amy is.

Im so happy for you all, David. I love you all so much!

Thanks, Mom. Well phone in the morning.

Polly clicked off the phone and looked at the clock. Three seventeen. Her grandson had been born sometime around three seventeen on September 20. Her grandson. Little Jehoshaphat.

Little Jehoshaphat?

Stop it! Polly snapped at herself. She threw back her covers and flung herself from her bed with such energy she disturbed Roy Orbison, who, for an old dog with sagging skin, could conjure up an impressive array of expressions. Right now he resembled an exasperated hausfrau, hair in curlers, arms folded over her Wagnerian chest.

Well, Im sorry! Polly told the dog. But youre a dog, and Im overwhelmed, and youre all Ive got at the moment, so you can just bear up and sacrifice some sleep to keep me company!

Roy Orbison sagged a bit, morphing into his Jeanne-dArc-at-the-stake pose, but stayed at attention.

In the first place, Polly muttered, reaching for her silk robe and pulling it on over her nightgown, isnt Jehoshaphat an awfully big name for a little boy? Stop, Jehoshaphat, dont put that raisin up your nose! She slid her feet into her slippers. And what if he goes through that prepubescent plump phase David went through? You know his nickname will be Phat! AlthoughPolly stopped tapping the top of her head as she did more and more these days when she was trying to remember somethingisnt phat cool now? I mean, the word itself? Something I saw on television... But never mind whats cool now, its bound to be out of style when Jehoshaphat is a preteen.

Roy Orbison fell over on his side, groaning.

But were not going to be critical, are we, Roy? Flicking on lights as she went, Polly headed down the stairs. She wouldnt get back to sleep now. She didnt have to call Roy Orbison to join her; the animal was catatonic unless he suspected someone was headed for the kitchen, in which case he became Wonder Dog. Sure enough, she heard a thud as he hit the floor, then the clicking of his nails.

In the kitchen, she poured herself a mug of milk and popped it into the microwave. Oh, Tucker, she said aloud, if only you were still alive.

Her husband, Tucker, was Davids stepfather, so this baby would be his step-grandson. Still, Tucker would have shared every ounce of Pollys joy. Oh, she could imagine just how he would smile! Tucker had died two years ago, and while the heart-searing grief had diminished, Polly still missed him every moment of every day.

The microwave beeped. She took out the mug and held it in her hands. So nice and warm.

Roy Orbison came waddling into the kitchen. The vets warned Polly the dog was overweight. But he was fifteen years old, for heavens sake! He deserved a treat now and then. Instead of collapsing in his usual heap of wrinkles, he sat at her feet and cocked his head at Polly, doing his best Loyal Fido at His Mistresss Feet impersonation.

You are such a fake, Polly said fondly. But all right. Ill add a celebratory spot of brandy to my milk, and you can have a great big dog biscuit. Okay?

Roy Orbison wagged his tail and passed gas.

In the morning, Polly showered, dressed, and breakfasted, and it was only eight oclock. She wouldnt call David and Amy yet, they might still be sleeping, and she couldnt possibly sit at her desk and accomplish anything, so she phoned her best friend, Franny, to share the good news, and then she went up to the attic to dig out the boxes of baby things shed been saving for thirty years.

By noon, Polly had not only found the various little rompers and blankets and quilts, shed put them through the washing machine and had them tumbling away in the dryer, and still David hadnt phoned. She couldnt wait any longer. She dialed the Pipers house.

David answered in a whisper. Oh, hi, Mom. How are you?

Impatient! Polly said with a laugh. David, when can I come see little Jehoshaphat?

David paused. Amy wants you to wait a couple of days. Shes concerned about strange germs.

Strange germs? Pollys jaw dropped. Amy thinks Ive got strange germs?

Not just you, Mom. Everyone.

Oh, David, thats

Humor us, Mom. Amys exhausted. We all are.

Polly took a deep breath. All right. What about tomorrow?

Im not sure. Ill let you know.

Polly felt her lip quiver. She felt cold-shouldered, left out. But, David, I cant wait to see him.

I know, Mom. I cant wait for you to see him, either. Hes beautiful.