Piers Anthony - Golem in the Gears (The Magic of Xanth, Book 9)

Tired from the rigors of the night, they lay on the bed and slept. There was plenty of room for both of them, as Rapunzel remained golem-sized. She slept at one end, and Grundy at the other.

At noon Grundy woke and got up. He peered under the bed. Snortimer still lay without moving. Yet he was not dead; Bed Monsters dissolved into dust when their ends came. There was still hope.

Grundy went outside the cave to forage for something to eat. He found a patch of sugar sand, and a puddle of reasonably fresh water. Those would have to do.

Rapunzel was up when he returned. He explained about the sand and water, apologetically. To his surprise, she seemed pleased. I've never eaten directly from the real world, she said. It will be a new experience.

Some experience! But he took her to the sand and puddle, and she ate and drank and expressed satis- faction.

Is he going to get better? she asked.

Grundy spread his hands. I just don't know how bad it is, he confessed. I'm hoping that rest is all he needs.

They returned to the cave, but Snortimer was no better. They sat on the bed and worried. "I promised to help him

search for romance, Grundy said dispiritedly. What have I brought him?"

Romance? she asked, combing her hair with a little silver comb she had with her. As she got her shorn hair in better order, it looked nicer; she was still the prettiest creature he had seen.

He was lonely, under his bed. He wanted to find a female of his kind before hewell, you know that Bed Monsters usually don't survive after the children on their beds grow up and stop believing.

Yes, of course. I was brought up to be rational, so I never had a real monster under my bed. I really missed that. But

Wait, Grundy said, realizing. You're not a child now. How is it that Snortimer was able to hide under your bed?

It's not age that decides it, she explained. It's atti- tude. Most children think it's grown-up not to believe in Bed Monsters, so when they grow up, they don't. But since I didn't have a Bed Monster, I never had the expe- rience of truly believing, and so never grew out of it. You have to experience something fully, before you can leave it behind. So I'm retarded in ways like that; I'm still ready to accept a Bed Monster, and my bed showed it.

If you're retarded, I hope you never grow up! Grundy exclaimed.

I mean that I haven't had the experience of the real world, she explained. I know about it, but I haven't experienced it. So I know a lot about Bed Monsters, but Snortimer is the first I have actually encountered. I'm so sorry he came all this way for nothing.

For nothing? Grundy asked blankly.

He can't find romance. There is no female of his kind.

What? Grundy asked, appalled.

Bed Monsters don't breed the way other creatures do. They don't reproduce. They form spontaneously from the dust under a child's bed, and they dissolve back into dust when the child stops being a child. Snortimer's the only one I know of who has traveled away from his bed.

Well, actually we brought the bed along. But

But his whole hope is vain, she concluded. I sup- pose we'll have to tell him, if

If he pulls through this crisis of light exposure, Grundy said morosely. If I had known about this, I would never have

Of course, she agreed quickly. You are a nice per- son.

Grundy laughed ironically. I'm neither nice nor a per- son. I'm a loud-mouthed golem.

You certainly are a person! she insisted. And a brave one too! The way you fought Mother Sweet- ness But this brought her up short. Oh, I wish I hadn't thought of that!

She really wasn't what you thought, Grundy said uncomfortably. Naturally she didn't show her mean side to you.

I realize that, now. I see that there were inconsisten- cies in the picture of Xanth she presented for me. If there were no things I didn't know about, why wouldn't she allow me to leave the Tower? Everything seemed to make sense, from the Tower; now that I'm away from it, I can see that reality isn't quite the same. Still, Mother Sweet- ness was the only person I knew, and it really hurts me to know that she

I guess it's the same kind of shock for you that it will be for Snortimer, when he learns that

You're very perceptive, Grundy.

No I'm not. I just happen to know what it's like.

What it's like? she asked blankly.

To have no female of your species.

But golems can be made in any type! she protested.

But not living golems. When I was wood and rag, all I wanted was to become real. But when I became real, I discovered I was alone.

I never thought of that! That's terrible, Grundy!

Anyway, that's not my Quest, he said uncomforta- bly. I'm searching for Ivy's little dragon friend, Stanley Steamer. The Good Magician told me to ride the Bed Monster to the Ivory Tower, and now I've done that, but I still don't know where Stanley is.

But I know that! she cried, clapping her hands. There's a young six-legged dragon with the Fauns and Nymphs.

A steamer? he asked, excited.

Yes. He arrived there about three years ago, in a puff of smoke.

He's all right?

So I understand.

Then why didn't he go home to Ivy?

The Fauns and Nymphs won't let him go. Then her fair brow furrowed. But that's strange, I realize now. The Fauns and Nymphs are supposed to be innocent folk who don't hurt any creature. How could they hold a dragon captive?

There must be a side to them that the Hag didn't tell you about, Grundy said grimly. I know Stanley would have returned to Ivy, if he possibly could have.

She shook her head. "It must be so. The Fauns and Nymphs migrated south when the ogres migrated north;

now the ogres are up by the Ogre-fen-Ogre Pen, and the Fauns and Nymphs are down below Lake Ogre-Chobee.

It's really not a great distance from here, as the roc flies. I'm sure Stanley could have gone home, if permitted."

Well, I'm going to rescue him and bring him home, Grundy said. I have to, or Ivy will do something dis- astrous. She's a little Sorceress, you know.

Yes, she's to be Queen of Xanth one day. I suppose when she grows up, she'll stop corresponding with me. Adults don't believe in pun-pals any more than they do in Bed Monsters. She dipped her gaze, sadly. I wish I could have met her.

But you can meet her! Grundy said. You're free of the Ivory Tower now!

Why, so I am! she agreed, surprised. But I'm not sure I could travel all that way alone. The fact that I know about the dragons and other creatures of Xanth doesn't mean I could handle them if I encountered them; in fact I'm sure I couldn't.

You can travel with us, Grundy said. We're going there, just as soon as we rescue Stanley.

Why, so you are, she agreed, smiling gladly. But I'm afraid I would only be in your way.

"I don't see why. Snortimer could carry both of us;

he's strong enough. Then he remembered the Bed Mon- ster's state. Only"

She sighed. Only he's ill, she finished. I had for- gotten. What will you do, Grundy, if he?

Grundy shrugged. I'll just have to go on alone.

But then I could go with you!

On foot? I don't think you would like that.

She pondered. Maybe you could talk to animals, and get a ride for us.

He nodded. Yes, I could do that. But I'd rather go with Snortimer. He's been a good steed and a good friend, and

Surely he will get better! she said positively.

Surely he will, Grundy agreed, but a big ugly doubt was hovering about him.

Only she began.

Yes?

What about the bed?

Grundy sighed. You're right. We have to take that along. But I should be able to get an animal to carry it.

Then Rapunzel screamed.

Grundy jumped up. What? Where?