Jerome Salinger - Nine Stories

Of the nine stories to the book the following seven appeared originally in THE NEW YORKER; A Perfect Day for Bananafish, Uncle Wiggily in Connecticut, Just Before the War with the Eskimos, The Laughing Man, For Esme:-with Love and Squalor, Pretty Mouth and Green My Eyes, and Teddy. The author is grateful to THE NEW YORKER for permission to reprint.

The author also wishes to thank HARPERS MAGAZINE for permission to reprint Down at the Dinghy.

Copyright, 1948, 1949, 1950, 1951, 1953, by J. D. Salinger.

TO DOROTHY OLDING and GUS LOBRANO

THERE WERE ninety-seven New York advertising men in the hotel, and, the way they were monopolizing the long-distance lines, the girl in 507 had to wait from noon till almost two-thirty to get her call through. She used the time, though. She read an article in a womens pocket-size magazine, called Sex Is Fun-or Hell. She washed her comb and brush. She took the spot out of the skirt of her beige suit. She moved the button on her Saks blouse. She tweezed out two freshly surfaced hairs in her mole. When the operator finally rang her room, she was sitting on the window seat and had almost finished putting lacquer on the nails of her left hand.

She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ringing continually ever since she had reached puberty.

With her little lacquer brush, while the phone was ringing, she went over the nail of her little finger, accentuating the line of the moon. She then replaced the cap on the bottle of lacquer and, standing up, passed her leftthe wethand back and forth through the air. With her dry hand, she picked up a congested ashtray from the window seat and carried it with her over to the night table, on which the phone stood. She sat down on one of the made-up twin beds andit was the fifth or sixth ringpicked up the phone.

Hello, she said, keeping the fingers of her left hand outstretched and away from her white silk dressing gown, which was all that she was wearing, except mulesher rings were in the bathroom.

I have your call to New York now, Mrs. Glass, the operator said.

Thank you, said the girl, and made room on the night table for the ashtray.

A womans voice came through. Muriel? Is that you?

The girl turned the receiver slightly away from her ear. Yes, Mother. How are you? she said.

Ive been worried to death about you. Why havent you phoned? Are you all right?

I tried to get you last night and the night before. The phone heres been

Are you all right, Muriel?

The girl increased the angle between the receiver and her ear. Im fine. Im hot. This is the hottest day theyve had in Florida in

Why havent you called me? Ive been worried to

Mother, darling, dont yell at me. I can hear you beautifully, said the girl. I called you twice last night. Once just after

I told your father youd probably call last night. But, no, he had to-Are you all right, Muriel? Tell me the truth.

Im fine. Stop asking me that, please.

When did you get there?

I dont know. Wednesday morning, early.

Who drove?

He did, said the girl. And dont get excited. He drove very nicely. I was amazed.

He drove? Muriel, you gave me your word of

Mother, the girl interrupted, I just told you. He drove very nicely. Under fifty the whole way, as a matter of fact.

Did he try any of that funny business with the trees?

I said he drove very nicely, Mother. Now, please. I asked him to stay close to the white line, and all, and he knew what I meant, and he did. He was even trying not to look at the trees-you could tell. Did Daddy get the car fixed, incidentally?

Not yet. They want four hundred dollars, just to

Mother, Seymour told Daddy that hed pay for it. Theres no reason for

Well, well see. How did he behavein the car and all?

All right, said the girl.

Did he keep calling you that awful

No. He has something new now.

What?

Oh, whats the difference, Mother?

Muriel, I want to know. Your father

All right, all right. He calls me Miss Spiritual Tramp of 1948, the girl said, and giggled.

It isnt funny, Muriel. It isnt funny at all. Its horrible. Its sad, actually. When I think how

Mother, the girl interrupted, listen to me. You remember that book he sent me from Germany? You knowthose German poems. Whatd I do with it? Ive been racking my

You have it.

Are you sure? said the girl.

Certainly. That is, I have it. Its in Freddys room. You left it here and I didnt have room for it in theWhy? Does he want it?

No. Only, he asked me about it, when we were driving down. He wanted to know if Id read it.

It was in German!

Yes, dear. That doesnt make any difference, said the girl, crossing her legs. He said that the poems happen to be written by the only great poet of the century. He said I shouldve bought a translation or something. Or learned the language, if you please.

Awful. Awful. Its sad, actually, is what it is. Your father said last night

Just a second, Mother, the girl said. She went over to the window seat for her cigarettes, lit one, and returned to her seat on the bed. Mother? she said, exhaling smoke.

Muriel. Now, listen to me.

Im listening.

Your father talked to Dr. Sivetski.

Oh? said the girl.

He told him everything. At least, he said he didyou know your father. The trees. That business with the window. Those horrible things he said to Granny about her plans for passing away. What he did with all those lovely pictures from Bermudaeverything.

Well? said the girl.

Well. In the first place, he said it was a perfect crime the Army released him from the hospitalmy word of honor. He very definitely told your father theres a chancea very great chance, he saidthat Seymour may completely lose control of himself. My word of honor.

Theres a psychiatrist here at the hotel, said the girl.

Who? Whats his name?

I dont know. Rieser or something. Hes supposed to be very good.

Never heard of him.

Well, hes supposed to be very good, anyway.

Muriel, dont be fresh, please. Were very worried about you. Your father wanted to wire you last night to come home, as a matter of f

Im not coming home right now, Mother. So relax.

Muriel. My word of honor. Dr. Sivetski said Seymour may completely lose contr

I just got here, Mother. This is the first vacation Ive had in years, and Im not going to just pack everything and come home, said the girl. I couldnt travel now anyway. Im so sunburned I can hardly move.

Youre badly sunburned? Didnt you use that jar of Bronze I put in your bag? I put it right

I used it. Im burned anyway.

Thats terrible. Where are you burned?

All over, dear, all over.

Thats terrible.

Ill live.

Tell me, did you talk to this psychiatrist?

Well, sort of, said the girl.

Whatd he say? Where was Seymour when you talked to him?

In the Ocean Room, playing the piano. Hes played the piano both nights weve been here.

Well, whatd he say?

Oh, nothing much. He spoke to me first. I was sitting next to him at Bingo last night, and he asked me if that wasnt my husband playing the piano in the other room. I said yes, it was, and he asked me if Seymours been sick or something. So I said

Whyd he ask that?

I dont know, Mother. I guess because hes so pale and all, said the girl. Anyway, after Bingo he and his wife asked me if I wouldnt like to join them for a drink. So I did. His wife was horrible. You remember that awful dinner dress we saw in Bonwits window? The one you said youd have to have a tiny, tiny