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Lincoln Michel - Upright Beasts

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Lincoln Michel Upright Beasts
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    Upright Beasts
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    Coffee House Press
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    2015
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    9781566894197
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Upright Beasts: summary, description and annotation

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Praise for Lincoln Michel: Lincoln Michel is one of contemporary literary cultures greatest natural resources. Weird, darkly funny storiesMichel ably handles modes from lyrical to ironic. Children go to school long after all the teachers have disappeared, a man manages an apartment complex of attempted suicides, and a couple navigates their relationship in the midst of a zombie attack. In these short stories, we are the upright beasts, doing battle with our darker, weirder impulses as the world collapses around us. Lincoln Michels stories are strange, haunting and often very funny beasts. His prose is rich and also spare. He can kill you in two pages or take you for a long, dangerous, kooky ride and then kill you. And by kill you, I mean thrill you. Savor this book and welcome Mr. Michel. In Upright Beasts, Lincoln Michel uses the unreal and the surreal in ways that allow his readers to understand something about the human condition. Who are we when someone allows us to see ourselves more clearly? We are pitiful, ridiculous, beautiful, sometimes brave and sometimes cowards, but always in these stories illuminated. Many first books carry the suggestion of promise, of wonderful things to come, but it is most unusual to encounter a debut as agile and assured and utterly dazzling as Upright Beasts. These stories are mighty surrealist wonders, mordantly funny and fiercely intelligent, and Lincoln Michel is a writer that will leave you in awe. Lincoln Michel has created a sinister landscape that feels at once uncomfortably familiar and yet truly strange. This is the post-pastoral as creeping horror story a kind of secret, alternate history of a forgotten America, a country of half-dead towns and empty streets. There are welcome echoes of Barthelme and others in here, but Michels voice carries through, darkly intelligent and unmistakably original. A tremendous debut. The world presented in Michels admirable debut collection is similar to our own, yet twisted just enough to feel strange. . Michel frequently knocks his brief bursts of prose out of the park. Deadpan and life affirming, the stories in this genre-bending debut veer from an apartment complex for the suicidal to a ghostly artists colony to the innards of wild things.

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Lincoln Michel

Upright Beasts

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Some of these stories appeared in the following journals: Our Education in Electric Literatures Recommended Reading; If It Were Anyone Else in NOON and Pushcart Prize XXXIX; The River Trick in Unstuck; Little Girls by the Side of the Pool in Hobart; Almost Recess as The New Game in Everyday Genius; Our New Neighborhood in Watchlist: 32 Short Stories by Persons of Interest (OR Books); Filling Pools in BOMB Magazine; Hike in the Collagist; The Deer in Virginia as The Deer of Virginia in the Oxford American; Halfway Home to Somewhere Else in Connu; What You Need to Know about the Weathervane in the Harvard Advocate; Lawn Dad in Midnight Breakfast; The Soldier in PANK; The Head Bodyguard Holds His Head in His Hands in Indiana Review; The Mayors Plan in Mid-American Review; Routine in Monkeybicycle; Everybody Whos Anybody in New Orleans Review; What We Have Surmised about the John Adams Incarnation as John Adams in Forty-Four Stories about Our Forty-Four Presidents (Melville House); Getting There Nonetheless in Story; and A Note on the Type in elimae.

UPRIGHT BEASTS

For the abyss. Thanks for always gazing back.

UPRIGHT BEASTS

OUR EDUCATION

Time passes unexpectedly or, perhaps, inexactly at the school. Its hard to remember what semester were in. Several of the clocks still operate, but none of them agree on the time. Construction paper murals obscure the windows. Consequently, the sun rises and falls in complete ignorance of those of us attending the school. Many of us participated in the decorations in some lost point of childhood. A few of us still have dried glue underneath our fingernails.

In the room I sit in now, the windows are covered with a glitter-and-glue reenactment of the colonization of Roanoke by Sir Walter Raleigh. Outside the window, who knows?

In my spare time, I write notes for an assignment on the state of my education. Ive always believed that I was destined for somewhere better. In my hidden heart, I hold hope that my essay is the key to my escape.

My classmates laugh at me, even my second-closest friend.

Youll never turn this in, he says, grabbing my notebook. There will never be anyone to accept it!

Leave him alone, Beanpole Paula says.

Of course you defend him, he says, winking at her from beneath his self-cropped hair.

Beanpole Paula gives my second-closest friend a sharp shove. His shirt bears the logo of a rock band Ive never heard. When he smiles, I see his braces are discolored from vending machine candy. Whats his name? Either Tommy or Timmy.

Obviously we no longer learn anything, or, perhaps more accurately, we learn many things, but not the things we were meant to learn. We learn about love and pain and friendship. A few of us even learn about fornication, mostly from afar (twice Ive snuck behind the bleachers with Carmichael, a small and sickly boy, to watch the more muscular students tear off each others pit-stained gym uniforms). History, mathematics, and biology are subjects lost to another time. Most of our textbooks have been repurposed for fuel. There is an ongoing fire in the back corner of the cafeteria.

I myself only own two books, novels long past their stamped due dates, which I keep tucked underneath spare clothes in the back of my locker.

Much of our hushed hallway discussion concerns the teachers. Surrounded by the pale orange lockers, we utter nasty words. We whisper out of habit. There are no teachers to overhear us. The teachers are all dead. Or else they are disintegrated. Or in hiding (but from whom? from us?). All that is known is that the teachers have disappeared, and the teachers lounge is barricaded from the inside.

After the lunch bell, I hurry back to the front hallway with Beanpole Paula. We have an armload of chicken sandwiches, pockets filled with fries.

That was close, she says. We slap hands in celebration.

Paula is almost six feet tall and walks with her back hunched over. I find her awkwardness endearing. She is currently my closest friend. We know our arrangement might end tomorrow, so when we smile at each other, there is a conspiracy in the air.

We make a good team, Paula says, pressing a sandwich to her mouth with both hands. Lets always stick together.

Then Timmy or Tommy interrupts us, rounding the corner with a half-eaten pizza slice.

Randal, two years our senior, maintains that the disappearance of the teachers is a victory for the students.

This school only ever existed to beat us down and prepare us for a world in which we were powerless. Homework is indoctrination. Education is a cog in the machine of the ruling class.

Tommy (or Timmy) cheers him on enthusiastically. What can you learn from teachers and tests? Theyre old fogies with old ideas that fossilize your brain.

Beanpole Paula and Carmichael, on the other hand, are distraught over these developments.

What if the teachers have gone in search of better students? Paula says. What if we have been left behind?

Despite beckoning from both sides, I dont enter the debate. I cannot say what the lack of faculty means. But if the teachers do return, I need to be ready with my paper. I want to believe that if they come back, I will be chosen to graduate to a better place.

I keep the assignment folded in my back pocket. I dont remember when I received it, but its my strongest proof that our teachers are coming back. The sheet of paper says, In your own words: a) what is the goal of your education, and b) how far are you, in your mind, to achieving this goal?

The top left corner lists the period, classroom number, and teacher from whom the assignment supposedly came. Second period, room 17, Ms. Lispector. I hold the assignment close to my face and try to remember her. I see an older woman with dyed black hair and a blue ankle-length dress, but the image is as blurry as a bigfoot photo.

Do you like her?

Beanpole Paulas eyes follow mine as they survey the globelike behind of Lydia Pill.

I dont even know her, I say.

That wasnt the question.

In my memories, Lydia and I sat next to each other in sex ed. We were paired up for several projects. Now, as I watch her body cross the room, my mind conjures up the faded diagrams and illustrations on the pull-down posters in room 201. I try to visualize those impossible organs hiding behind her clothes. I begin to sweat.

Lydia is walking hand in hand with Clint Bulger. Bulger is, or I suppose I should say was, the captain of the football team. Were most afraid of Bulger and the other jocks, who, having cordoned off the basketball courts and adjacent locker rooms, have access to softball bats and hockey sticks.

I dont know, I say, watching them stroll by without even looking at us. Lydias golden hair sways between her shoulder blades in a thick ponytail.

I knew it, Paula says loudly. She grabs her own hair. I know everything. I have terrible powers.

Whats wrong? I say, turning to Paula. She looks very sad. I place a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Then her forehead wrinkles, and I realize that she isnt sad. She is angry. She twists my arm around my back and pushes me off the radiator. I struggle, but Paula has leverage and pins me to the linoleum with her long limbs.

You think youll be the only one rewarded. I can see into the future, and I know exactly what horrible tragedy youre heading toward. Her voice is very loud now. While you, you cant even see whats in front of your own nose!

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