Robert Lopez - Good People

LET ME UNDERSTAND something to you, if we can take a moment together, spare a little time reaching out as we catch up over coffee because I know were all busy, we have things to do, theres laundry, theres what to have for dinner, theres dental hygiene and all the rest, but for now let me say this, please if I may and then Ill let me go, I promise, you can hold it to me, you can trust me, you know you can trust me, look at my face, see, do you see what I mean by the look on my face, good, I know, because I will swear a blood oath if thats what you require, I want you to rest assured, I want you totally at ease, listen, I am at ease and you know this, everyone knows this, I aim to please and am only too happy, so if you insist lets consider it a tontine, yes, good, even if you dont know what that word means, because whats a definition anyway, I myself am not defined by words and neither are you, but believe me, its a real word, tontine is, I heard it once on TV, an old man said it while weeping, a comrade had died in his arms, in battle on the battlefield, while the bombs were bursting above him, he was there alone and weeping, the dead comrade in his arms, it was all very moving, the naked emotion, the smoldering, wasted landscape, he on his own, aggrieved, bereft, so you know he didnt make it up, not like that, under those circumstances, but the truth is the truth and it is unavoidable, we cant put it off any longer, we need to face facts together, as a group, as a family, if you will, because we are a family if you think about it, even if you dont think about it we are a family, who says you have to think about it to make it so, to make a family, families arent ideas and anyone who says so is a liar, like my uncles, they were all of them liars, every last one of them, none of them died on the battlefield like that, not like they said they did, listen, Im not trying to cast aspersions, be divisive, we are all family here, the family of man, the isle of white, I dont know what that is, the isle of white, although I think its isle of wight, I think its spelled wight instead of white, but I cant say for sure, I always thought of the family of man living on the isle of white, in my imagination it looks like heaven, like the Garden of Eden, if there was a Garden of Eden, which there probably wasnt, but that doesnt matter because theres strength in numbers, and we have them, we have numbers, they cant take away our numbers, so, here it is, the truth, unvarnished and naked and appalling, here it is, are you ready for it, I dont think youre ready, you dont look ready, you look unwell if you ask me, you look peaked, worn-out, frazzled, Im worried, have you seen a doctor, you should see a doctor, make an appointment for tomorrow morning, take a physical, it couldnt hurt, change your diet maybe, do some deep knee-bends, do some push-ups, do something for Gods sake, I mean take a look at yourself, its not pretty is it, but what do I know, I dont know anything, that much is clear, maybe after all that youll be ready, maybe then Ill take one look and think, yes, youre ready, because we have to be ready, this is war, after all, and we have to be ready for it, we have to be ready to charge onto the battlefield and lay down our lives, but what does it mean to be ready, how does one get themselves ready, even if we are ready or even if we look ready the truth is we are never ready, were never ready for whats in store, for what comes next, not out there on the battlefield, alone, weeping, its awful, so it doesnt matter that youre not ready because neither am I and we have to move on, we have to let go, we cant let this stop us now, nothing can stop us now, not anymore, so here it is, at last, here, moving forward and looking back, I havent been nowhere in forever, there, Ive said it, Im not kidding, not even once, not even for a little while, not even as a break in the day, a brief respite from the grind, a fucking breather I tell you, not that I couldnt use a breather, because I can, I need a break, Im being honest here, all right, Im not sure I can take it anymore, its starting to get to me, the bombs bursting, the comrades dying in arms, Im burning out, Im winding down, its all happening so fast and I cant keep up, listen, Im no different, I need a good nights sleep and three squares a day, a complete balanced diet, a rich interior life, someone to rub up against every so often, someone to bump into, but I dont have these things, I dont think, not that I could remember anyway, not so youd notice, the memory fades, its true, like water down a fountain, like God on a battlefield, take me for example, Im no different, not in height or weight or deportment, not in practice or habits, I spend most of my time seated, only stand when I have to, am registered to vote, all the rest of it, I dont like going to the doctor, either, I want what most people want, dead or alive, Ive seen it before, more than once, always an excellent example they said, everyone knows this, as a child they held me up, over their shoulders, the uncles and all them, they said so, but no one cared, not back then they didnt, not those people, selfish and small and petty, living their everyday lives, no respite from the grind, no fucking breathers, what Im saying is put your uncle in the ambulance and carriage him away from here, take him far away from here and reevaluate yourself, down to the river on the isle of wight to be baptized, to be cleansed, we all need to be cleansed, all of us, as often as possible, twice a day if necessary, after all we go to bed dirty and wake up that way, we need to come clean, just once, as a change of pace even, do you feel what Im saying, is my implication translucent, look at the uncles and all them, on the battlefield, laying waste, filthy, stained, years ago like this, every day, dying in each others arms, but not anymore, not these days, now they are old and they are sick and they are dying all alone by themselves, they have the scars to prove it, the stench, the death rattle, can you hear it, its indisputable, they havent been nowhere in forever, either, not them, not anymore, not for a long time now at least, they broke their backs for us, they laid down their lives for us, and what do we care, do we care, we dont care, we dont fucking care at all, you want to know why, want to know why we dont care at all, me too, I want to know why, too, Im no different, I dont know why, either, want to know why I dont know why, because who fucking cares, thats why, let me understand something to you, I dont fucking care what it is anymore, it can be anything, any blessed fucking thing on the battlefield or elsewhere, because this is what happens, this is what we want, we want an understanding, any kind of blessed understanding, it happens every day, all over the godforsaken world, but not here it doesnt, it isnt what happens to us, not in these parts, unfortunately, weve never had that good fortune, that sort of blind luck, that sort of unholy understanding, not so youd notice anyway, but it doesnt matter, not anymore because here we are together, after all we still have each other, this beautiful group, this family, on the isle of wight, together, forever, until death do we partake of each other, at last, for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and more sickness, that is until we take our leave of each other, as civilized people do the world over, indeed over, its harder now that its over, but it is over, make no mistake, anyone can see that, even a doctor can see that, so now we can go, because its over, clearly, please, let me say this, be kind to each other, be brief and be gone, you should go, I am going, too, I will go first, if thats what you want, if that will make it easier, remember Im easy, I said so, you know Im easy, I know you know Im easy, listen, maybe you dont want me to go, I understand, I do, I know what its like, I know what its like to watch me go, but its for the best, really, trust me, I have to, I have to go, I cant stay here, not like this, not anymore, please, dont make a scene, youre better than this, youre bigger than this, Im going now, I am, its true, where am I going you ask, you know where Im going, you know damn well where Im going and I know damn well that you know damn well where Im going, because I am already gone, in my mind Im gone already, I am gone though I am here, my body, my mind, still with you still, though gone, still moving to me, still together after all these years, but gone, always gone, and yet together still, a family of man on an isle of wight.