Luiza Fejn - Daughter of the Reich

Dedication

To my remarkable parents, who are with me always.

Epigraph

Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

WINSTON CHURCHILL

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Epigraph

Prologue

Part I

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Part II

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four

Twenty-Five

Twenty-Six

Twenty-Seven

Twenty-Eight

Twenty-Nine

Thirty

Thirty-One

Thirty-Two

Thirty-Three

Thirty-Four

Thirty-Five

Thirty-Six

Thirty-Seven

Thirty-Eight

Thirty-Nine

Forty

Part III

Forty-One

Forty-Two

Forty-Three

Forty-Four

Forty-Five

Forty-Six

Forty-Seven

Forty-Eight

Forty-Nine

Fifty

Fifty-One

Fifty-Two

Fifty-Three

Fifty-Four

Fifty-Five

Fifty-Six

Fifty-Seven

Fifty-Eight

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*

About the Author

About the Book

Copyright

About the Publisher

Prologue

Leipzig

Summer 1929

The lake is silky smooth, lapping gently around the legs of the jetty. The knobbly planks beneath my toes are thick and warmed by the sun. Karl is on the bank, wriggling into his shorts under the towel Mutti is holding around him.

Careful, Hetty, Karl shouts. The waters deep out there.

Im just looking, I call back. I want to see the big fish.

I shuffle right to the very end and curl my toes around the edge. Crouching low, I peer into the water. I cant see the bottom of the lake. Maybe there isnt one. Perhaps the dark green water goes all the way down to the middle of the earth where savage monsters lurk, waiting.

Walter swims toward the jetty. He splashes his arms around then floats on his back, pale toes bobbing up out of the water. He pops up again, grinning at me, pushing his wet hair off his face. I wish I could have swimming lessons like Karl, then I, too, could glide like a fish, instead of splashing about in the shallows, stubbing my toes on jagged stones and slipping on slimy weed.

From my perch, I watch Walter swim farther out into the lake. He disappears from sight, hidden by the solid wooden pillar of the jetty. I move to try to see him, but I lean too far and topple forward. My hands fly out, clawing at empty space, and Im falling, down, down, down.

Belly first, I crash onto the stone-hard surface. I gasp with the iciness, but instead of air, there is only rancid lake water.

Help! I splutter, splashing hopelessly, blinded by blurry flashes of light and dark.

HELP, louder now, but the water boils and churns, closing over my head, and the monsters suck me down to their deep, green lair.

Gripped by panic, I scrabble and kick, fighting back up to the surface. I manage a breath. There are voices in the distance. I thrash wildly, but it doesnt keep me up, and Im swirling, round and round. The voices fade as Im dragged down again, lungs screaming, but the watersickening, cloying, heavyfills them and Im drowning.

Darkness folds in.

Something scrabbles at my swimsuit and scratches my back. Theres a tugging, and Im pulled up to the surface. Someone is holding me and Im retching and coughing in the lightning-white sunlight until I think my insides are going to spill out. With a rasping choke, air surges into my lungs, and water pours from my nose. The person holding me is kicking hard, keeping both of us up, panting and grunting with the effort. The hands turn me onto my back and theres a strong body beneath me, keeping my head above the water.

Dont struggle, youre safe now. A voice in my ear. Walters voice. Im swimming you back to the shore. He wraps his hand around my chin and tugs.

I try to lie still, but water laps in my ears and I wobble as he jerkily swims on his back, huffing with the effort of keeping me up until we reach shallow water. Dimly, I hear cries and shouts from nearby. Walters body is solid and safe. He begins to wriggle out from under me, but I cling desperately to him, our tangle of legs sinking to the lake floor.

Its all right, you can stand now, he says, propping me upright. The mud squishes between my toes as I try to stand but Im shaking, and my legs collapse beneath me. Walter holds me, and I lean against him. My throat stings from the coughing. Water trickles from my nose.

Mutti runs through the shallows, soaking her skirt, but she doesnt seem to care. She lifts me up, hugging me tight against her body, and we stagger back to shore. She wraps me in a warm towel.

Hetty! Are you okay? Karl is here, too, patting me on the back, peering at my face. I told you to be careful!

Oh my poor darling. Mutti sinks down with me still in her arms. She rocks me back and forth as though I were a baby, not a big seven-year-old. My ear is pressed to her chest and I can hear her breath, ragged and fast, in her throat.

Walter stands close by, watching us, silent and dripping. Mutti turns to him.

You saved her life, Walter. Thank heavens youre such a strong swimmer. If you hadnt been there so fast . . . She begins to cry.

It was no problem, Walter says, quickly looking away.

Im going to tell your mother how brave youve been.

Theres no need. Honestly. He grabs his towel and begins to dry himself.

Mutti wipes her eyes and helps me to dress. The back of my nose and throat are rough-raw, as if I have swallowed concrete.

Perhaps Hetty should have swimming lessons, Karl says into the silence.

Mutti sniffs and nods.

She bustles around, laying out the blanket and picnic things. Ive managed to stop shaking and try some raspberry pfannkuchen and milk from her flask.

I finally gather the courage to look directly at Walter. His wavy blond hair is half dry, half wet. Hes saying something to Karl, but then he turns and looks at me and his face breaks into a smile.

His eyes are the warmest, kindest blue.

LATER THAT NIGHT, Mutti tucks me into my narrow bed, pushed against the wall in the bedroom I share with Karl.

Good night, my darling. Mutti kisses my forehead. You are all right, arent you?

Yes, Mutti.

Good. She smiles and strokes my hair.

She turns out the light and closes the door gently behind her.

I keep my eyes open. Through the gloom, I make out the lumpy shape of the wardrobe against the wall and Karls empty bed below the windowsill. With him in the room, the menacing shadows cant harm me. Each time my eyelids droop Im back in the lake and the water is sucking me into its murky depths, choking and clogging my lungs. My heart thrums and my eyes ping open. Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake.

The door creaks sooner than I expect.

Karl?

Hetty? Youre still awake.

Cant sleep.

I wondered. Listen, I have something for you. To make you feel better. I was saving it for your birthday, but I want to give it to you now. Ill get you something else for your birthday. He snaps on the light and I blink at the sudden brightness.

Karl scrabbles under his bed and emerges with a brown, rectangular paper bag.

Here, he says, placing it on top of my blankets as I push myself up to sit. He perches on the edge of my bed. His cheeks are pinched and his forehead wrinkles beneath his dark fringe.

I wish Id saved you today, Little Mouse, he says, but I was too far away. I know he means it because as he looks into my eyes, I can see straight into his soul. The worry has made his pupils huge and black and I can tell hes crying inside, like me. I nod so he knows I understand.