Marc Lesser - Know Yourself, Forget Yourself: Five Truths to Transform Your Work, Relationships, and Everyday Life

This book about the key paradoxes that life and work reveal is itself a paradox: carefully organized and full of practical exercises, it is at the same time surprising, fluid, and expansive in its themes and vision. Marc Lesser continues to unfold his lifetimes meditation on work and life. A fine and wise Zen teacher, deeply steeped in the stories of his tradition, he is also a canny executive coach and guide for lifes great journey. Know Yourself, Forget Yourself is a great business book and (as they say) much, much more.

Marc Lesser presents a unique combination of Zen with the search we all undertake for balance and perspective in our professional lives. A very interesting read.

Know Yourself, Forget Yourself is a treasure trove of applied wisdom. It is a practical and compassionate guide to awakening.

This is an illuminating and insightful book. Marc Lesser gives us many tools and exercises and a variety of ways to shake up our fixed ideas and change our perspective. Its an excellent resource.

Marc Lessers life experiences as a Zen student and priest, CEO, small business owner, consultant, and executive coach give him a unique perspective on how to enhance your life by increasing your gifts to everyone you engage with. This is a great book for those just starting their career, those experiencing midlife crisis, and those who want to finish well. It gives you ways to be more productive and in balance with your world no matter where you are on lifes path.

Marc Lesser shows us a path through the contradictions within us. Embracing the five paradoxes he lays out in this book can help plant the seeds of change, both personal and social. He demonstrates that the truth often lies in balancing both sides, not in the certitude of one side or the other. A wonderful and profound book.

Marc Lessers book is the perfect combination of practice and practical. After a lifetime of Zen study, he has distilled the life lessons of Buddhist practice into sane, eminently useful, result-oriented procedures that will cut through confusion, anxiety, and self-defeating behaviors. He has successfully disguised a spiritual text as a self-help book, but for those of us who have steeped in the same broth of Buddhism for many years, his compassionate intention and skill cannot be camouflaged. I cant recommend this book highly enough.

Copyright 2013 by Marc Lesser

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The material in this book is intended for education. It is not meant to take the place of diagnosis and treatment by a qualified medical practitioner or therapist. No expressed or implied guarantee as to the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given nor liability taken.

The poem on page 124, Walking by Nagarjuna, translated by Stephen Batch- elor, from Verses from the Center by Stephen Batchelor, copyright 2000 by Stephen Batchelor. Used by permission of Riverhead Books, an imprint of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lesser, Marc, date.

Know yourself, forget yourself : five truths to transform your work, relationships, and everyday life / Marc Lesser.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-60868-081-8 (pbk. : alk. paper) ISBN 978-1-60868-082-5 (ebook)

1. Self-realization. 2. Success. I. Title.

BF637.S4L468 2013

650.1dc23 2012043574

First printing, February 2013

ISBN 978-1-60868-081-8

Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

T here is a story of three bricklayers working side by side that is sometimes told to illustrate the power of purpose and vision.

Someone comes along and asks the first bricklayer, What are you doing? The first bricklayer replies, Im laying bricks, one by one. Applying mortar and placing each brick.

The second bricklayer is asked, What are you doing? He answers, Im making a living. By doing this job, Im able to provide for my family.

The third bricklayer, when asked, What are you doing? responds, Im building a cathedral. Im helping people to connect with God.

Ive always liked this story. On one level, its a beautiful, simple illustration about perspective. It demonstrates the power we each have to choose how to interpret the events of our lives, how we can create our own unique meaning. The three bricklayers are performing the same task while understanding what they are accomplishing in completely different terms.

Looking at this story a bit more carefully, however, I wonder: if I were overseeing this project, I might be a little alarmed by the second and third answers. After all, Ive hired people to lay bricks, and I might not be pleased if, while doing this task, they are distracted by thoughts of their family. I might be even more concerned if they are dreaming about some higher purpose. As a supervisor, I want my bricklayers paying attention to the details of laying bricks. Is the mortar mix the perfect proportion of sand, stone, and water? Is each person diligently looking at the blueprints and placing each brick in exactly the right place? Is each person and the team working cooperatively and yet fast enough to meet the schedule? In other words, at any one time, there are lots of tasks we could be focused on, but are we focused on the right ones? How do we know which are the right ones?

At the same time, as the supervisor, I understand that my employees are human beings, not machines. Humans have needs, emotions, aspirations. I recognize that for people to be most effective to be able to work with skill, creativity, and conscientiousness they need to be compensated fairly and adequately, in ways that meet their personal and family needs. And in order to be inspired to be truly excellent bricklayers, they need to be included in the works larger vision and purpose. They must be encouraged to see the noble aspect of the work they are performing in this case, the sacred act of building a cathedral, a spiritual gathering place for the benefit of our community. Though it feels somewhat daunting, part of my job is to help them connect the simple act of laying bricks with the divine. Embracing all these perspectives or attitudes helps us achieve the great results we seek. Ultimately, I dont want each bricklayer focused on only one aspect of their job; I want them to be adept enough to focus on, and succeed at, all three aspects simultaneously.